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<blockquote data-quote="Nancy" data-source="post: 545353" data-attributes="member: 59"><p>AG he is sounding and doing what so many of the addicts including my difficult child did. They try to desensitize you by telling you all the people that relapsed. I never understood why difficult child couldn't wait to tell me every day who relapsed, who left and who got kicked out. She stopped calling her sponsor too and then I knew what was happening. You want his sobriety more than he does, I know been there done that. Until he wants this more than anyone else it won't work. We want them to stay sober, follow the program, make a new sober life for themselves. But then we see the subtle signs of relapse and our hearts crash. We can't do it for them AG as much as we want to. He may have to relapse and pick himself up again. It isn't the end of the world, even though it feels that way. Most addicts relapse several times before it sticks. Remember he has so much more knowledge now and the tools he needs to both get sober and stay sober. He just doesn;t want it right now.</p><p></p><p>I understand so well. After several relapses and treatment programs and sober houses you know my difficult child left and is now living the life of an addict, in her words "having the time of her life" now that she is 21. She isn't ready to be sober. As much as I want it for her there is nothing I can do but sit back and watch and hope she doesn't die before she reaches out for help. She told me that she was never sober more than 60 days.</p><p></p><p>I wish I knew how to tell you to get through this period but yoou just have to walk through the pain, continue to go to your meetings, read as much as you can about relapse, and begin to detach, pull back. You can't keep him from doing whatever it is that he is planning to do. It must be so hard being a single parent and not having someone to go through this with. Don't panic. Draw your line int he sand, know what you are willing to accept and hold that line. He won't be homeless. They find someplace to stay.</p><p></p><p>(((((HUGS)))))</p><p>Nancy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nancy, post: 545353, member: 59"] AG he is sounding and doing what so many of the addicts including my difficult child did. They try to desensitize you by telling you all the people that relapsed. I never understood why difficult child couldn't wait to tell me every day who relapsed, who left and who got kicked out. She stopped calling her sponsor too and then I knew what was happening. You want his sobriety more than he does, I know been there done that. Until he wants this more than anyone else it won't work. We want them to stay sober, follow the program, make a new sober life for themselves. But then we see the subtle signs of relapse and our hearts crash. We can't do it for them AG as much as we want to. He may have to relapse and pick himself up again. It isn't the end of the world, even though it feels that way. Most addicts relapse several times before it sticks. Remember he has so much more knowledge now and the tools he needs to both get sober and stay sober. He just doesn;t want it right now. I understand so well. After several relapses and treatment programs and sober houses you know my difficult child left and is now living the life of an addict, in her words "having the time of her life" now that she is 21. She isn't ready to be sober. As much as I want it for her there is nothing I can do but sit back and watch and hope she doesn't die before she reaches out for help. She told me that she was never sober more than 60 days. I wish I knew how to tell you to get through this period but yoou just have to walk through the pain, continue to go to your meetings, read as much as you can about relapse, and begin to detach, pull back. You can't keep him from doing whatever it is that he is planning to do. It must be so hard being a single parent and not having someone to go through this with. Don't panic. Draw your line int he sand, know what you are willing to accept and hold that line. He won't be homeless. They find someplace to stay. (((((HUGS))))) Nancy [/QUOTE]
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