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<blockquote data-quote="Calamity Jane" data-source="post: 545384" data-attributes="member: 13882"><p>Oh AG, it's hard. I want to tell you some things, hopefully they'll help:</p><p></p><p>We're all lonely in our own way, even if we have family, or DHs, whatever, because as mothers, we're never exactly on the same page as anyone else in our family. husband doesn't even want to listen to me most of the time when I rant on, I get a glazed look and he just sort of backs out of the room. husband is a "no drama" kind of guy, suppresses everything, goes to work long days, and doesn't dwell. I'm a dweller, so even though I have family with me, my experience is isolated, Know what I mean?? I won't even trouble my daughter with anything, because she's been through so much and I want her to live her own life. I can't confide in my SILs who live nearby, because they're ultra competitive gals with perfect adult children, and I would only feel like a loser. So you're not alone by being alone, because truly you've reached out and we're here, you go to meetings, and you're doing all the right things.</p><p>OK, now...Thank God your scan was clean. What if it wasn't? Would you be wasting one minute of your time on difficult children repetitive journey that you have no control over, or would you be thinking about all the time you wasted and regretting it, and vowing to make the rest of your life significant from here forward? If that's the case, then do it, honey, because YOUR life is YOUR gift, and that's not selfish talk. You gave everything, you've emptied yourself, you have permission to cry this week as much as you need to, but then you have to get off this train to despair, and move along. If difficult child leaves the sober house, gets an apartment nearby, gets in trouble again, what can you REALLY do? If he does those things, he's effectively jumping off a bridge. Should you follow? I think not! difficult child has to answer for his life, and you can't get inside his brain and impart any more words of wisdom that you haven't already. Let go and let God take care of his consequences, you've done enough Ms. Atlas with the world on your shoulders. Time to put that boulder down!</p><p>Have faith - keep praying; it seems like praying is such a little thing, but it's more powerful than anything you could think of doing. God doesn't want you to hurt like this, just give it all over to Him. It's not giving up on your difficult child, it's giving your will up to God's will, and getting out of the way, so He can do His job, whatever the consequences may be that we don't understand right now. RE's idea of a lavender bath and being grateful is terrific! Do I hear the water running????</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Calamity Jane, post: 545384, member: 13882"] Oh AG, it's hard. I want to tell you some things, hopefully they'll help: We're all lonely in our own way, even if we have family, or DHs, whatever, because as mothers, we're never exactly on the same page as anyone else in our family. husband doesn't even want to listen to me most of the time when I rant on, I get a glazed look and he just sort of backs out of the room. husband is a "no drama" kind of guy, suppresses everything, goes to work long days, and doesn't dwell. I'm a dweller, so even though I have family with me, my experience is isolated, Know what I mean?? I won't even trouble my daughter with anything, because she's been through so much and I want her to live her own life. I can't confide in my SILs who live nearby, because they're ultra competitive gals with perfect adult children, and I would only feel like a loser. So you're not alone by being alone, because truly you've reached out and we're here, you go to meetings, and you're doing all the right things. OK, now...Thank God your scan was clean. What if it wasn't? Would you be wasting one minute of your time on difficult children repetitive journey that you have no control over, or would you be thinking about all the time you wasted and regretting it, and vowing to make the rest of your life significant from here forward? If that's the case, then do it, honey, because YOUR life is YOUR gift, and that's not selfish talk. You gave everything, you've emptied yourself, you have permission to cry this week as much as you need to, but then you have to get off this train to despair, and move along. If difficult child leaves the sober house, gets an apartment nearby, gets in trouble again, what can you REALLY do? If he does those things, he's effectively jumping off a bridge. Should you follow? I think not! difficult child has to answer for his life, and you can't get inside his brain and impart any more words of wisdom that you haven't already. Let go and let God take care of his consequences, you've done enough Ms. Atlas with the world on your shoulders. Time to put that boulder down! Have faith - keep praying; it seems like praying is such a little thing, but it's more powerful than anything you could think of doing. God doesn't want you to hurt like this, just give it all over to Him. It's not giving up on your difficult child, it's giving your will up to God's will, and getting out of the way, so He can do His job, whatever the consequences may be that we don't understand right now. RE's idea of a lavender bath and being grateful is terrific! Do I hear the water running???? [/QUOTE]
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