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Struggling today
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<blockquote data-quote="Kathy813" data-source="post: 745690" data-attributes="member: 1967"><p>Trying . . . think about what just happened. The sober living owner reached out to you for money to pay the rent. You said no. Guess what, your son paid the rent.</p><p></p><p>Take a lesson from that. It is not your job to pay his rent. I am not even sure why the owner asked you for the rent. It actually sounds suspicious to me. Regardless, the onus is on your son to pay his own rent.</p><p></p><p>When my daughter went to her last sober living house, I agreed to pay the first month rent and they told me that they would expect her to get a job and pay from then on. The next month, the bookkeeper called me and told me that the next month's rent was due and acted like I should pay it. I told her flat out that I had told the manager of the sober living house that I would pay the first month and that was it. She seemed surprised but said okay and never asked me again.</p><p></p><p>My daughter did not have a job at that point but they let her continue to live there on "scholarship" while she was in IOP and looking for a job. Then they negotiated the amount that she had to pay each month once she did start paying the rent. It was half of what they charged me for the first month.</p><p></p><p>As far as whether the job is a good fit or not, it is not your problem. If he asks your opinion, direct him back to the therapists at IOP. They are there to deal with this kind of thing.</p><p></p><p>~Kathy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kathy813, post: 745690, member: 1967"] Trying . . . think about what just happened. The sober living owner reached out to you for money to pay the rent. You said no. Guess what, your son paid the rent. Take a lesson from that. It is not your job to pay his rent. I am not even sure why the owner asked you for the rent. It actually sounds suspicious to me. Regardless, the onus is on your son to pay his own rent. When my daughter went to her last sober living house, I agreed to pay the first month rent and they told me that they would expect her to get a job and pay from then on. The next month, the bookkeeper called me and told me that the next month's rent was due and acted like I should pay it. I told her flat out that I had told the manager of the sober living house that I would pay the first month and that was it. She seemed surprised but said okay and never asked me again. My daughter did not have a job at that point but they let her continue to live there on "scholarship" while she was in IOP and looking for a job. Then they negotiated the amount that she had to pay each month once she did start paying the rent. It was half of what they charged me for the first month. As far as whether the job is a good fit or not, it is not your problem. If he asks your opinion, direct him back to the therapists at IOP. They are there to deal with this kind of thing. ~Kathy [/QUOTE]
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