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Struggling with decisions
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<blockquote data-quote="litbitblack" data-source="post: 715910" data-attributes="member: 12870"><p>So we got a date for finalizing the custody orders. Its scheduled the day before the bio dad gets out of jail. He currently has visitation orders for every 2 weeks at chuck e cheese and Im glad the hearing is before he gets out because I was definitely tired of having to show up knowing he wasn't going to most of the time- I think he only came to 4. Now granddaughters mom knows about the hearing and believes I should just drop the custody order with the belief that I can still have her live with me and still see her ect but she would maintain custody. I don't really have a response to her about this. She is focusing so much on custody like she is losing her daughter but I can not very well give in as she could come take her when ever she wanted when I didn't give her what she wants and she is already showing suspicious behavior and I suspect she is dealing weed again according to her facebook post. of course now days these people are smart enough to get by probation officers with drug test. She has lost her second job in 5 months, cant get income based housing d/t her hx and criminal record, doesn't have an income at this time to be able to even afford it. She is just focused on the custody thing. Maybe I just don't understand her point of view but I do not trust her. She is associating custody with her cousin who I fought for custody when she was 4. my nieces dad signed an affidavit agreeing to it and my sister was in jail. We even did a social study and it was recommened she live with me. I had the right to choose where she lived and im not sure they do that anymore but I think that is what I need here. My sister left her 10 yr old daughter a note and left the state.. The note said lock the door don't open it for anyone and ill be back tomorrow after school and she was already terrified of cops so when the dad called the sheriffs dept and they tried to get her to open the door she wouldn't. This is just one episode when i had allowed her to go back to my sister in one of the many chances i gave her to raise her daughter. She believes I gave my sister a hard time getting her daughter back because of course that is what my sister told her but I had custody because my sister was a meth addict and was not able to take care of her but I didn't fight her on it when my niece was older and went to live with her when she was more stable and my home environment had changed. So please some words of encouragement and maybe views on explaining it to her....I get lost for words as she is crying explaining that gd can still live with me and visit me that im not losing her she is just maintaining custody.....so frustrating. kudos to me thougth after our last argument - the name calling because I wouldn't give up the car keys ect... she texted me last night asking for cigarettes and I didn't respond- I could feel myself starting to give in though</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="litbitblack, post: 715910, member: 12870"] So we got a date for finalizing the custody orders. Its scheduled the day before the bio dad gets out of jail. He currently has visitation orders for every 2 weeks at chuck e cheese and Im glad the hearing is before he gets out because I was definitely tired of having to show up knowing he wasn't going to most of the time- I think he only came to 4. Now granddaughters mom knows about the hearing and believes I should just drop the custody order with the belief that I can still have her live with me and still see her ect but she would maintain custody. I don't really have a response to her about this. She is focusing so much on custody like she is losing her daughter but I can not very well give in as she could come take her when ever she wanted when I didn't give her what she wants and she is already showing suspicious behavior and I suspect she is dealing weed again according to her facebook post. of course now days these people are smart enough to get by probation officers with drug test. She has lost her second job in 5 months, cant get income based housing d/t her hx and criminal record, doesn't have an income at this time to be able to even afford it. She is just focused on the custody thing. Maybe I just don't understand her point of view but I do not trust her. She is associating custody with her cousin who I fought for custody when she was 4. my nieces dad signed an affidavit agreeing to it and my sister was in jail. We even did a social study and it was recommened she live with me. I had the right to choose where she lived and im not sure they do that anymore but I think that is what I need here. My sister left her 10 yr old daughter a note and left the state.. The note said lock the door don't open it for anyone and ill be back tomorrow after school and she was already terrified of cops so when the dad called the sheriffs dept and they tried to get her to open the door she wouldn't. This is just one episode when i had allowed her to go back to my sister in one of the many chances i gave her to raise her daughter. She believes I gave my sister a hard time getting her daughter back because of course that is what my sister told her but I had custody because my sister was a meth addict and was not able to take care of her but I didn't fight her on it when my niece was older and went to live with her when she was more stable and my home environment had changed. So please some words of encouragement and maybe views on explaining it to her....I get lost for words as she is crying explaining that gd can still live with me and visit me that im not losing her she is just maintaining custody.....so frustrating. kudos to me thougth after our last argument - the name calling because I wouldn't give up the car keys ect... she texted me last night asking for cigarettes and I didn't respond- I could feel myself starting to give in though [/QUOTE]
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