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Struggling with decisions
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 715918" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Why do you even need advice? Your small grandchildren are at stake and daughter has repeatedly not tsken care of them? So what if she cries? Better her thsn the grands she did not tske care of.</p><p></p><p>Here is my advice: less is more. Dont talk in detail to daughter. "You are smart and know why I have to do this. It isnt negotiable." If she carries on, stop texting/talking. "I love you, but I have to go." If you keep letting her refute what you say and plead to you, it will drive you nuts and make you doubt a good and generous decision you made. Low contact with daughter. Once a week maybe and only until this subject comes up</p><p></p><p></p><p>2. She cant live with you. Period. It is not good for anyone but her. She is old enough to find her own way. Or not. At home with you and kids she will undermine you, maybe steal...who know? Run off with kids? Not like she respects the laws. The kids need stability and she is only chaos. You cant save your daughter. She is no young kid and has never shown stability. She wont now either. You CAN save your grands.</p><p></p><p>3. YES, you should take custody of grands. If she cared for her kids this would not be an issue, but she wont and you know it. The kids matter first. They are still young.</p><p></p><p>Thats my ,02. Take it or leave it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 715918, member: 1550"] Why do you even need advice? Your small grandchildren are at stake and daughter has repeatedly not tsken care of them? So what if she cries? Better her thsn the grands she did not tske care of. Here is my advice: less is more. Dont talk in detail to daughter. "You are smart and know why I have to do this. It isnt negotiable." If she carries on, stop texting/talking. "I love you, but I have to go." If you keep letting her refute what you say and plead to you, it will drive you nuts and make you doubt a good and generous decision you made. Low contact with daughter. Once a week maybe and only until this subject comes up 2. She cant live with you. Period. It is not good for anyone but her. She is old enough to find her own way. Or not. At home with you and kids she will undermine you, maybe steal...who know? Run off with kids? Not like she respects the laws. The kids need stability and she is only chaos. You cant save your daughter. She is no young kid and has never shown stability. She wont now either. You CAN save your grands. 3. YES, you should take custody of grands. If she cared for her kids this would not be an issue, but she wont and you know it. The kids matter first. They are still young. Thats my ,02. Take it or leave it. [/QUOTE]
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