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Struggling with so many things..
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<blockquote data-quote="april1974" data-source="post: 439947" data-attributes="member: 12128"><p>there is hope she'll snap out of it, my daughter went through a really horrible patch from age 12-17 it was a nasty horrible horrible horrible 5yrs of crisis, chaos, & STRESS! but....at around 16-17 she seemed to grow some connections in her brain and smarten up, and I don't say that sarcastically I believe that is what happened, she finally started to use her brain and realize the road she was on was leading her nowhere.</p><p></p><p>Your daughter is 20 she's an adult it must be very tough to watch her make bad decisions but at this stage of her life you are really powerless to change anything, even when my daughter was going through this I couldn't change it. I had to pick my battles and muddle through, not knowing how life was going to end up. BUT....what I do know is, we can't control where their lives end up...all we can do is be there for them. We don't have to support their habbits and poor choices but we can always keep an olive branch sticking out...so they know we love them and only want the best for them...at the same time being firm. The last thing you want is for your daughter to disapear and never contact you or cut you off...my daughter also lived with her dad off and on and it was super frustrating because they let her get away with so much, no rules etc...but then life wasn't perfect there either they had their wars...as her mom it was heartbreaking to watch her make these bad choices...and her dad was the spineless jelly fish...sigh....it's rough and I know it. </p><p></p><p>As for the bedroom furniture, it's hers, let her have it...jmho...I left home at 17 and I can't imagine how I would have felt if my parents had said to me "you can't have your bedroom furniture it's ours.." I would have been devestated...and it would have put a thorn in our relationship...what matters is your daughter, not the furniture. Sorry hope that doesn't sound harsh, I"m just speaking as a mom..who has been there.(((((hugs))))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="april1974, post: 439947, member: 12128"] there is hope she'll snap out of it, my daughter went through a really horrible patch from age 12-17 it was a nasty horrible horrible horrible 5yrs of crisis, chaos, & STRESS! but....at around 16-17 she seemed to grow some connections in her brain and smarten up, and I don't say that sarcastically I believe that is what happened, she finally started to use her brain and realize the road she was on was leading her nowhere. Your daughter is 20 she's an adult it must be very tough to watch her make bad decisions but at this stage of her life you are really powerless to change anything, even when my daughter was going through this I couldn't change it. I had to pick my battles and muddle through, not knowing how life was going to end up. BUT....what I do know is, we can't control where their lives end up...all we can do is be there for them. We don't have to support their habbits and poor choices but we can always keep an olive branch sticking out...so they know we love them and only want the best for them...at the same time being firm. The last thing you want is for your daughter to disapear and never contact you or cut you off...my daughter also lived with her dad off and on and it was super frustrating because they let her get away with so much, no rules etc...but then life wasn't perfect there either they had their wars...as her mom it was heartbreaking to watch her make these bad choices...and her dad was the spineless jelly fish...sigh....it's rough and I know it. As for the bedroom furniture, it's hers, let her have it...jmho...I left home at 17 and I can't imagine how I would have felt if my parents had said to me "you can't have your bedroom furniture it's ours.." I would have been devestated...and it would have put a thorn in our relationship...what matters is your daughter, not the furniture. Sorry hope that doesn't sound harsh, I"m just speaking as a mom..who has been there.(((((hugs)))) [/QUOTE]
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