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Parent Emeritus
Stuck in vortex of enabling and overgrown difficult child nightmare. Help. Please.
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 415066"><p>Bean...</p><p>So good that you have been to the counselor. Are you going regularly? Did you take the advice re: cutting off contact for a week? Are you also going to FA or Al Anon? in my humble opinion, you need to get as much healthy support as possible.</p><p>It is sad that others are likely enabling your daughter. You can't control your difficult child and you can't control them. You might ask them to cooperate with you, but that's about it. Again....read line above. You are out of the control business. With others, that is. You CAN control yourself...your thoughts, your actions, your reactions. Your difficult child is on the young side and this is ashame. I would make it clear to her that (assuming you can afford it, etc.) you would always be willing to get her in to see a therapist or to pay for birth control. However, you do not wish to hear about her behaviors and greatly limit discussions with her, especially now. And if the counselor says no contact for a week....do your very best to make that happen. Do you have a friend that can help you with this now and again? Maybe you can see the therapist twice this week (or whatever week you stop contact with- your daughter). You can do this. You can control how you think and react to this difficult situation.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 415066"] Bean... So good that you have been to the counselor. Are you going regularly? Did you take the advice re: cutting off contact for a week? Are you also going to FA or Al Anon? in my humble opinion, you need to get as much healthy support as possible. It is sad that others are likely enabling your daughter. You can't control your difficult child and you can't control them. You might ask them to cooperate with you, but that's about it. Again....read line above. You are out of the control business. With others, that is. You CAN control yourself...your thoughts, your actions, your reactions. Your difficult child is on the young side and this is ashame. I would make it clear to her that (assuming you can afford it, etc.) you would always be willing to get her in to see a therapist or to pay for birth control. However, you do not wish to hear about her behaviors and greatly limit discussions with her, especially now. And if the counselor says no contact for a week....do your very best to make that happen. Do you have a friend that can help you with this now and again? Maybe you can see the therapist twice this week (or whatever week you stop contact with- your daughter). You can do this. You can control how you think and react to this difficult situation. [/QUOTE]
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Stuck in vortex of enabling and overgrown difficult child nightmare. Help. Please.
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