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Such a Newbie... in so many ways...
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<blockquote data-quote="Jewlz0113" data-source="post: 442204" data-attributes="member: 12298"><p>Thank you for your response... I appreciate what you're saying about BioMom and trust me when I say I give her EVERY benefit of the doubt. I really truly do. So much so that at times I defend her to both husband and SDS. I try very hard to keep the emotions and fact separate and not be judgmental. Thank you for reminding me of needing to do that constantly... <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>SDS does make eye contact and freely gives hugs. Including to me. He's often surprised me by wanting to sit next to me, walk up and give me an unexpected hug, and is disappointed if I don't make it to his room at night quickly enough to give him a hug and tuck him in for the night. He just does not like authority and can be incredibly defiant. And the less respect he feels he's getting, the more he digs his heels in.</p><p></p><p>My three girls live with me half the time. Their dad and I have joint custody in that they change houses every Friday. (I, thankfully, get along well enough with my ex that we can make this work and it does work well for them.) SDS does get along with them. He can be incredibly annoying to them at times (he likes to pick and annoy just for the sake of annoying) but they tolerate his behavior better than most. There have been times, though, they've had enough and nasty fights have broken out. I don't leave my 12 year old and him alone - she doesn't tolerate his constant picking as well and will turn on him without warning (and he then wonders why she's so angry). SDD is bio daughter of husband and his Ex. The two of them have NEVER gotten along. I wonder if in the past there has been favoritism played and that has made SDS bitter and then takes it out of her. She doesn't help any by rubbing in to him when she's gotten to do something that he didn't. "Normal" sibling rivalry for most. Because of his ADHD/ODD, it's exacerbated. And, because his reaction is so vocal and violent, he's the one that gets blamed for it. I've witnessed the vicious cycle on more than one occasion. </p><p></p><p>Again... thank you for your feedback. You have no idea how valuable it is to me. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jewlz0113, post: 442204, member: 12298"] Thank you for your response... I appreciate what you're saying about BioMom and trust me when I say I give her EVERY benefit of the doubt. I really truly do. So much so that at times I defend her to both husband and SDS. I try very hard to keep the emotions and fact separate and not be judgmental. Thank you for reminding me of needing to do that constantly... :) SDS does make eye contact and freely gives hugs. Including to me. He's often surprised me by wanting to sit next to me, walk up and give me an unexpected hug, and is disappointed if I don't make it to his room at night quickly enough to give him a hug and tuck him in for the night. He just does not like authority and can be incredibly defiant. And the less respect he feels he's getting, the more he digs his heels in. My three girls live with me half the time. Their dad and I have joint custody in that they change houses every Friday. (I, thankfully, get along well enough with my ex that we can make this work and it does work well for them.) SDS does get along with them. He can be incredibly annoying to them at times (he likes to pick and annoy just for the sake of annoying) but they tolerate his behavior better than most. There have been times, though, they've had enough and nasty fights have broken out. I don't leave my 12 year old and him alone - she doesn't tolerate his constant picking as well and will turn on him without warning (and he then wonders why she's so angry). SDD is bio daughter of husband and his Ex. The two of them have NEVER gotten along. I wonder if in the past there has been favoritism played and that has made SDS bitter and then takes it out of her. She doesn't help any by rubbing in to him when she's gotten to do something that he didn't. "Normal" sibling rivalry for most. Because of his ADHD/ODD, it's exacerbated. And, because his reaction is so vocal and violent, he's the one that gets blamed for it. I've witnessed the vicious cycle on more than one occasion. Again... thank you for your feedback. You have no idea how valuable it is to me. :) [/QUOTE]
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