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General Parenting
Such a Newbie... in so many ways...
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<blockquote data-quote="Jewlz0113" data-source="post: 443281" data-attributes="member: 12298"><p>Unfortunately, there is no talking to her. Not by husband and certainly not by me. Anything we say, no matter how it's said, is seen as an attack. Truth is, her actions speak loudly as if she doesn't truly love him and if she had it her way, she wouldn't be his mom any more. They adopted another girl (his bio sister) at the same time and she "gave her back" because she couldn't handle her (she had several issues, too). She's tried to do the same with SDS, but by the time she tried, they were told it was "too late". He says he doesn't want to go to mom's because "they don't get along". It's a difficult situation for him and it breaks my heart. He wants so badly for her to love and accept him the way she does her bio-daughter, and will do anything to get her attention. Often times that includes lying to her about things that husband is doing (or not doing) because that wins her attention. But it also causes HUGE issues between mom and husband. I think husband has managed to get through to him the damage that causes, but he's a kid looking for his mom's attention. He'll stop at just about nothing to get it...</p><p></p><p>I've decided to talk with husband about family counseling for all of us. She has to approve and know about all dr. visits according to court papers. I have a feeling she's going to try to stop me from going, but it's at least worth a try. I'm wondering if we can talk to the counselor ahead of telling her and see if he can help her to see the fact that it's what's best for sds... One can hope.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jewlz0113, post: 443281, member: 12298"] Unfortunately, there is no talking to her. Not by husband and certainly not by me. Anything we say, no matter how it's said, is seen as an attack. Truth is, her actions speak loudly as if she doesn't truly love him and if she had it her way, she wouldn't be his mom any more. They adopted another girl (his bio sister) at the same time and she "gave her back" because she couldn't handle her (she had several issues, too). She's tried to do the same with SDS, but by the time she tried, they were told it was "too late". He says he doesn't want to go to mom's because "they don't get along". It's a difficult situation for him and it breaks my heart. He wants so badly for her to love and accept him the way she does her bio-daughter, and will do anything to get her attention. Often times that includes lying to her about things that husband is doing (or not doing) because that wins her attention. But it also causes HUGE issues between mom and husband. I think husband has managed to get through to him the damage that causes, but he's a kid looking for his mom's attention. He'll stop at just about nothing to get it... I've decided to talk with husband about family counseling for all of us. She has to approve and know about all dr. visits according to court papers. I have a feeling she's going to try to stop me from going, but it's at least worth a try. I'm wondering if we can talk to the counselor ahead of telling her and see if he can help her to see the fact that it's what's best for sds... One can hope. [/QUOTE]
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