Sue C-how are things going??

[sameold sameold]

Hi
I was just wondering how things are faring at your house? My difficult child did finally move into a supported living home, He's been there for 3 months, things are going fairly well. There have been some bad moments but for the most part, he is slowly moving forward. He is definatunely doing better than he was at home.

I hope you are able to find some peace soon. Let me know how things are going. Has Melissa been able to find a job? My fingers have been crossed


Sherri

 

[Sue C]

Thank you so much for asking. Believe it or not, things have been calm since we got Melissa home. She did get briefly mad at me on Friday when she asked for money to go out, and I told her no. So she went with us to a dinner at church instead (wow!).

She got in touch with the ex boyfriend Jeremy who was before Brandon. Jeremy now has a fiancee. He took Melissa to a Milw. Admirals game yesterday and paid her way....minus fiancee going along. Not a good idea in my mind. She said two of his friends came along and that he told his fiancee he was "going with friends." He lives on the East side of Milwauke. She got lost and ended up in the Ghetto and was walking around. She told me she went up to a house with the right # (but the street was West not East and she didn't realize it), and she called Jeremy and said, "Is your door painted bright green and has no door knob and there are bars on the windows?" :smile: I told her she was lucky she got out of the neighborhood unharmed. It could have been a crack house. Plus there are shootings in that area quite often.

Anyway, she has applied at 3 places plus is dropping off applications to 3 more on Monday plus applied online for 2 maid service places. She did state to me that she doesn't want a job that pays less than $10/hour. I told her good luck on that and that she WILL accept whoever wants to hire her. I told her the important thing is to try to find a job with medical insurance, seeing how she is now off my plan.

husband finally wasn't crabby yesterday. Things with Melissa are calm for the moment. But you all know how quickly that can change. husband said to me last night, "Wait until she has to work 40 hours/week, week after week. I'll bet she'll wish she was back in school."

Sue :smile:

 

[Sue C]

:smile: husband met a man today who said he grew up in the Ghetto in Milw. He said the house with the bright green door is a crack house!

Melissa announced tonight that she is not applying for the 2 bank teller jobs tomorrow. I said she had to. She told me to shut up. husband said he didn't care which jobs she applied for as long as she got one soon. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/919Mad.gif

She also asked husband for money to go to a concert with her best friend. He said he would think about it. Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sue

 

[KFld]

You should not have let her move back home. She hasn't even been there a week and she's already not doing what she should be. She should be kissing your feet!!!

 

[Sue C]

Karen -- I know you are right. Melissa is a spoiled little brat who gets her way with her father. The three of us had been watching TV when she told me to shut up. I was mad and went to my office on the computer. Then I hear husband and her talking like buddies. That makes me very angry. I have always been the bad guy; he's always been the good guy and tries to be her friend.

He had ACTED like he was putting his foot down finally. Yeah, right. /ubbthreads/images/graemlins/919Mad.gif

Sue

 

[Sunlight]

this is not good, sue. my ex used to buddy up with ant and not defend me when ant swore at me etc. I hope you take it up with husband and make a stand now before she gets even more mouthy. when he doesnt protest her mouthing, it is like a permission slip, like he agrees with her against you.

I had that problem for a long many yrs with ant and his dad. never again would I let that happen.

 

[KFld]

Sounds like you need to have a serious discussion with husband and tell him that you won't tolerate either one of their behaviors.

 

[DammitJanet]

Honestly I can understand where you are coming from and Im not going to tell you what you "should or shouldnt do" because I cant take my own advice! If I could Cory wouldnt be here.

I have sworn he was out so many times. I thought he was. A few times I caved. The last few times his dad did but he acts like it was me. Now when they start their blustering macho moments I simply remove myself from the room. Im not going to listen to them yell at each other and make empty threats that I know wont be carried out. It just upsets me.

When they arent yelling at each other, they are best buddies. That confuses me too. I dont need the stress. I hide in my cave.

 

[sameold sameold]

Its really too bad about husband, I know you have had that same issue for years. I am so thankful that my husband and I have almost always been on the same page. But our situation was different from yours, we have, since our youngest was hospitalized at 10, always had different providers in our house, and you always feel like you are on guard and being watched to see what kind of parent you are, so we have mostly always been a "team". But, now years later I am so thankful for all their assistance. We probably never would have made it as a family without them. Maybe if you had some intervention when Melissa was younger, but there is no sense to think about that now. You can only think of the future and you are the only one who can change your path ahead. I don't really have any advice other than, maybe you should look for a support group like NAMI. They have helped me tremendously over the years. They all understand because most members have been there, right where you are, and they are not judgmental. There are local chapters all over the US. Just do a search and hopefully you can find one close to you. My local chapter has phone support too, so most likely they all do. Good luck Sue.