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General Parenting
Suggestions for getting them out the door?
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 594109" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>I know most here are not in favour of reward charts, but I have found that at times they and other similar tools work very well for these types of problems there the desired behaviour isn't too complex and there it can be split to very small pieces. Basically behaviours that are 'trainable' not something bigger and deeper and more abstract. If it is something you can teach a dog or monkey to do, then rewards tend to work well also with kids, while teaching desired behaviour.</p><p></p><p>For me a good tool for these type of issues were two jars you could see through. One for each boy. They were only getting candy at Saturdays and for years the amount of candy had to be earned during week. I had small candies and when they did something I wanted reinforce I put one or two small candies to their jar. Never took away for bad behaviour, tried that once or twice I think, but difficult child considered it a reason not to even try to collect candy, because "You would just find a reason to take it away." I always made sure there were enough easy behaviours that would give them a candy so they never went totally without. Target behaviours that earned them candies did change and I always told before hand, what were the targets of the week, but I also kept an option to add candy for any behaviour I felt like. So if they did something extra cool or if I wanted to reinforce some behaviour they usually did well already just to keep it up. </p><p></p><p>So I would try to put together a list of things they need to do at mornings, time they have to have those finished (like out of bed 7 a.m., bathroom and teeth brushed done at 7.10 a.m. etc.) and give rewards. May not help, but worth a try.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 594109, member: 14557"] I know most here are not in favour of reward charts, but I have found that at times they and other similar tools work very well for these types of problems there the desired behaviour isn't too complex and there it can be split to very small pieces. Basically behaviours that are 'trainable' not something bigger and deeper and more abstract. If it is something you can teach a dog or monkey to do, then rewards tend to work well also with kids, while teaching desired behaviour. For me a good tool for these type of issues were two jars you could see through. One for each boy. They were only getting candy at Saturdays and for years the amount of candy had to be earned during week. I had small candies and when they did something I wanted reinforce I put one or two small candies to their jar. Never took away for bad behaviour, tried that once or twice I think, but difficult child considered it a reason not to even try to collect candy, because "You would just find a reason to take it away." I always made sure there were enough easy behaviours that would give them a candy so they never went totally without. Target behaviours that earned them candies did change and I always told before hand, what were the targets of the week, but I also kept an option to add candy for any behaviour I felt like. So if they did something extra cool or if I wanted to reinforce some behaviour they usually did well already just to keep it up. So I would try to put together a list of things they need to do at mornings, time they have to have those finished (like out of bed 7 a.m., bathroom and teeth brushed done at 7.10 a.m. etc.) and give rewards. May not help, but worth a try. [/QUOTE]
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