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Support or Advice, I just need help. PLEASE!!
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 618902" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Pink...we tried adopting an eleven year old boy. Obviously, his life before ours had been hard, but he acted charming to adults and we loved him. We did not k now he was sexually interacting with our two younger adopted kids because he was scaring them to death. He had a knife and told them he'd kill all of us if they told on him so they didn't.</p><p></p><p>Get this child out of your house. I know you love him. You have younger kids and you don't know what he has done. I first learned about attachment disorder up close and personal with this boy. As soon as we learned what he had done, he was gone. He'd lived with us for three years and, when asked in his residential treatment center, why he had done all he'd done, he could not answer. He had no insight to his behavior. Most of the time kids who are as sexual as these two are have been abused, but don't remember so they act out.</p><p></p><p>When I hear about a young kid with no conscience I think "attachment disorder." Psychiatrists don't catch it unless the child was adopted and sometimes not even then. It is very dangerous and hard to treat if the very specialized treatment is not started very young (it actually is treatable, but by now your 16 year old is a teenager and probably too dangerous to treat while he lives at home). He may be cruel to animals. Our son was kind to animals in front of us. He killed two of them, although we didn't find out he was responsible until the second one. That's when his entire cover was blown.</p><p></p><p>There are three red flags for a budding sociopath/attachment disordered child:</p><p></p><p>1/peeing and pooping inappropriately. Our son did it everyone...in closets, etc. We thought it was our dog.</p><p></p><p>2/Fascination with fire. Our son set little fires in his room in front of the younger kids to scare them. He constantly threatened them that he'd burn the house down. He told them he was the devil and he wanted to burn in hell. This was while he was acting like Perfect Child in front of all adults. Adults loved him. That's why we had no clue.</p><p></p><p>3/Cruelty to animals, which is something you can't know for sure. Our son acted nice to animals too,k like he loved our dogs. That's why we never thought he'd killed the first dog. The second dog, well, circumstances made it impossible for me NOT to think it was him. Only he and I were home and he hung the dog by his leash. This makes me cry to think about.</p><p></p><p>With his early years and possible substances in utero, in spite of her denial, he is a danger to you and your other kid(s). Please...find somewhere outside the home to place him. You will not be able to be one, big happy family with him and your family, like mine, could ge traumatized for a long time. He does not have just ADHD or ODD. He is dangerous.</p><p></p><p>I may add that once he was gone, my younger kids told me that once, when I had fallen asleep watching television, this child touched ME inappropriately and laughed.</p><p></p><p>You didn't cause this and you can't fix it other than to find somewhere else for him to live while getting treatment. The cops got involved with our child a nd charged him with First Degree Assault of a Minor Child (daughter was six years younger than him). He was found guilty and taken to a residential center for young sexual predators. The last I'd heard, he had tried molesting another child in there while in the bathroom (sigh). You don't have to do what we did, but we cut ties for the sake of our other chlidren. He didn't miss us anyway. He said, when asked, that he missed the money and the toys. But he can't get attached to people. He doesn't know how to love nor does he want to be loved. Love scares attachment disordered people. It makes them act worse.</p><p></p><p>If this child acts out on your other child, or any child, you could lose your other kid. Please...I know you love him, but he is not safe.</p><p></p><p>(((Hugs))).</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 618902, member: 1550"] Pink...we tried adopting an eleven year old boy. Obviously, his life before ours had been hard, but he acted charming to adults and we loved him. We did not k now he was sexually interacting with our two younger adopted kids because he was scaring them to death. He had a knife and told them he'd kill all of us if they told on him so they didn't. Get this child out of your house. I know you love him. You have younger kids and you don't know what he has done. I first learned about attachment disorder up close and personal with this boy. As soon as we learned what he had done, he was gone. He'd lived with us for three years and, when asked in his residential treatment center, why he had done all he'd done, he could not answer. He had no insight to his behavior. Most of the time kids who are as sexual as these two are have been abused, but don't remember so they act out. When I hear about a young kid with no conscience I think "attachment disorder." Psychiatrists don't catch it unless the child was adopted and sometimes not even then. It is very dangerous and hard to treat if the very specialized treatment is not started very young (it actually is treatable, but by now your 16 year old is a teenager and probably too dangerous to treat while he lives at home). He may be cruel to animals. Our son was kind to animals in front of us. He killed two of them, although we didn't find out he was responsible until the second one. That's when his entire cover was blown. There are three red flags for a budding sociopath/attachment disordered child: 1/peeing and pooping inappropriately. Our son did it everyone...in closets, etc. We thought it was our dog. 2/Fascination with fire. Our son set little fires in his room in front of the younger kids to scare them. He constantly threatened them that he'd burn the house down. He told them he was the devil and he wanted to burn in hell. This was while he was acting like Perfect Child in front of all adults. Adults loved him. That's why we had no clue. 3/Cruelty to animals, which is something you can't know for sure. Our son acted nice to animals too,k like he loved our dogs. That's why we never thought he'd killed the first dog. The second dog, well, circumstances made it impossible for me NOT to think it was him. Only he and I were home and he hung the dog by his leash. This makes me cry to think about. With his early years and possible substances in utero, in spite of her denial, he is a danger to you and your other kid(s). Please...find somewhere outside the home to place him. You will not be able to be one, big happy family with him and your family, like mine, could ge traumatized for a long time. He does not have just ADHD or ODD. He is dangerous. I may add that once he was gone, my younger kids told me that once, when I had fallen asleep watching television, this child touched ME inappropriately and laughed. You didn't cause this and you can't fix it other than to find somewhere else for him to live while getting treatment. The cops got involved with our child a nd charged him with First Degree Assault of a Minor Child (daughter was six years younger than him). He was found guilty and taken to a residential center for young sexual predators. The last I'd heard, he had tried molesting another child in there while in the bathroom (sigh). You don't have to do what we did, but we cut ties for the sake of our other chlidren. He didn't miss us anyway. He said, when asked, that he missed the money and the toys. But he can't get attached to people. He doesn't know how to love nor does he want to be loved. Love scares attachment disordered people. It makes them act worse. If this child acts out on your other child, or any child, you could lose your other kid. Please...I know you love him, but he is not safe. (((Hugs))). [/QUOTE]
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