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Suspect difficult child has financial difficulties
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 650904" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>IAD, I am my autistic son's payee. My son is independent in most areas, but he can't manage money. If he had control of it, he'd spend it all at once and his rent, food, and electric would not get paid. I also have the responsibility of handing out any money he gets for outings. What I do is only give him enough for what is reasonable for a young man for a weekend. I take him shopping...he buys groceries and puts some of the money leftover on his own debit card. I check what is left in the bank and hand out his weekend cash. Usually it is $30-$40, depending on what he says he's doing. Now he is good for what he says he's doing. </p><p></p><p>If I were your son's payee, I'd probably tell him to write a list of what he needs and order them myself, if it doesn't seem like it is, say, legal pot. There is no reason for him to have a chunk of money, just like there is no reason for Sonic to have a chunk of money. My son is NOT difficult or defiant, but impulsive and obsessed with videogames. If he had too much access to his money he'd spend it all on videogames. I can't tell you how much the guys at Game Stop love him...lol. I know when he is buying videogames and I don't care, but he also needs enough money to live on. That's why I am his payee...he can't make good monetary decisions.</p><p></p><p>Can't you take control of all of your son's money? In this case, you actually do have some control over what he does, just as I do. I try not to be a Czar, you know, but Sonic can't do it himself or he would be doing it himself. So I still have to treat him like a minor when it comes to money and a few other things (very few).</p><p></p><p>Think hard about what to do. You don't have to do ANYTHING today...now. You should know by now that you will not get the truth out of your son. The only way you will know what he wants to order is the list. If you chose to give him the money, do it and let it go. It''s done. When he blows it, too bad. Not your circus, not your moneky (or vice versa. Forgot which way it goes, but you get the idea) <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 650904, member: 1550"] IAD, I am my autistic son's payee. My son is independent in most areas, but he can't manage money. If he had control of it, he'd spend it all at once and his rent, food, and electric would not get paid. I also have the responsibility of handing out any money he gets for outings. What I do is only give him enough for what is reasonable for a young man for a weekend. I take him shopping...he buys groceries and puts some of the money leftover on his own debit card. I check what is left in the bank and hand out his weekend cash. Usually it is $30-$40, depending on what he says he's doing. Now he is good for what he says he's doing. If I were your son's payee, I'd probably tell him to write a list of what he needs and order them myself, if it doesn't seem like it is, say, legal pot. There is no reason for him to have a chunk of money, just like there is no reason for Sonic to have a chunk of money. My son is NOT difficult or defiant, but impulsive and obsessed with videogames. If he had too much access to his money he'd spend it all on videogames. I can't tell you how much the guys at Game Stop love him...lol. I know when he is buying videogames and I don't care, but he also needs enough money to live on. That's why I am his payee...he can't make good monetary decisions. Can't you take control of all of your son's money? In this case, you actually do have some control over what he does, just as I do. I try not to be a Czar, you know, but Sonic can't do it himself or he would be doing it himself. So I still have to treat him like a minor when it comes to money and a few other things (very few). Think hard about what to do. You don't have to do ANYTHING today...now. You should know by now that you will not get the truth out of your son. The only way you will know what he wants to order is the list. If you chose to give him the money, do it and let it go. It''s done. When he blows it, too bad. Not your circus, not your moneky (or vice versa. Forgot which way it goes, but you get the idea) :) [/QUOTE]
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