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Taking Star's advice!
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 308494" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Aw.....Dee ((((((Hugs))))) </p><p> </p><p>You know it's not just my advice - did you see how many people saw what you posted on the Daisyfaces get it out of your system post to you? There are a LOT of gals/folks here that care about you and always will. Like flutterby said - once a member always a member. The Love of this board for you and your kids doesn't stop JUST because they grow up or you stop posting. People still check in and I'm so glad for that. </p><p> </p><p>I wondered about your progression with the chemo. (breathe) SO six weeks into the treatment huh? Okay - that's like you said 1/2 way there. Our Golden Guru is starting that as well. She had breast cancer. It's just seeing the caring and hugs, prayers, concern & love that gets poured out into words for people here that amazes me all the time. Some days when Dude was at his worst I swear without the support I got here? I would have never made it as well as I did. A kind word - a post just saying - HEY let us know how you are. A random - where are you post. OR just a PM now and then from someone. It means a lot when you are having a really bad day or just a bad day or just a day. Know what I mean?? I bet you do. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p><p> </p><p>And with a divorce after 26 years? Yeah - well.....that's got to be tough enough. I mean who ever gets married to run screaming down the aisle saying I want a divorce xx years later? There's a lot of emotional mess that has happened to you and hurt - and it's a form of abuse that I hope you address with a counselor asap. I mean it's not physical like getting hit or anything - but it HURTS and it hurts really bad. I know - same thing happened to me. He went in the hospital? The entire family showed up. I went in? I had to call a cab or walk home. The day I brought our son home? Yuup. All on our own. He was off smokin' dope. My Mother brought us home. - THe serpentine belt broke, it was 110 - the radiator over heated...nice huh? So been there done that - and when I say get some counseling from a Domestic violence counselor - I don't mean seek a therapist that deals with battery - I mean get someone who understands what it's like to be IGNORED....and abused in that sense of the word. I'm not telling you to divorce. I'm telling you take time FOR DEE. FINALLY. Raises 3 kids - battles cancer - takes care of everyone----TIME FOR YOU. NOW. </p><p> </p><p>So where do you go for such things? WEll - there's a lot of domestic violence shelters - and don't you NO NO NO me...yeah - whatever...the counseling there is FREE - AND AND......(are you listening to me or did you tune me out at the words domestic and violence because your brain went - but he was not violent?) see - he was not violent - BUT what I'm saying is the counselors at these places are FREE (and you have less than no money) and they deal MORE with womens abuse issues (of which you suffer - abuse -hello yes it is abuse ignoring, not taking care of you) so yeah - I'd say go there and ask for the free help and counselors that have access to the better kind of womens counseling that will fast track you to better mental health - AND get you in a group situation eventually with other women that will and can benefit from YOUR story - (see you didn't think this was YOU helping THEM did you?) yeah - well it is. </p><p> </p><p>Everyone you meet and everyone who meets you learns something....from each other. So before you let the "stigma" of the words domestic violence freak you out or scare you off - give it a whirl....and don't think that you don't "qualify" for the services because someone hasn't beaten you into a bloody pulp physically because darlin - he has - mentally. (passes tissue) I'm sorry. He may not be a heal or maybe he's a real jerk - or it's just that he had unresolved issues with his Mom and when she passed he just can't get over them - BUT that is NO reason to forget YOU. You should be the love of his life. You should have been treated like a Princess, and at the very least had your bills paid, and been treated with equal respect and if you weren't going to get that? It shouldn't have drug out for 5-6 years where YOU had the decision made for you to go live WHERE? Where ever you could? That's abuse. Like I said - You have no money - so no need to rush out and pay for the divorce - and FYI -a lot of domestic violence shelters will HELP with attorneys fees....(sounding better all the time now isn't it?) -<span style="font-size: 9px"> oh <strong>now</strong> I'm a genius...thanks. I</span> don't know for sure - but worth a visit huh? </p><p> </p><p>You're also going to need transportation - Medicaid has a number you can call for transportation to and from doctors appointments - most cities. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> - IF you get food stamps - YOu can check into this thing called ANGEL FOOD MINISTRIES....Daisy puts up a link all the time -or PM her. There are tons of local charities that may be ablel to help with clothes for interviews or job - and you should be able to check into WOrk Keys - for a better paying job and WIA --workforce Incentive act or in some places it's WOrkforce Reinvestment Act. For free college at tech. </p><p> </p><p>THIS IS YOU TIME GIRL......USE YOUR TIME - FOR YOU.......MAKE A LIST - SET SOME GOALS EACH WEEK no matter how lame they seem. Even if it's something simple like wash the front door glass then cross it off when it's done. It will make you feel good - promise. </p><p> </p><p>If you need to do this too - it helps - again - sounds lame - but since you are on your own - get a package of post it notes - write down with a heavy marker things like - </p><p> </p><p>I AM PRETTY - I AM WORTH IT - I AM NICE - I AM GOOD......</p><p> </p><p>Post them where YOU will see them. These are called words of positive words of affirmation. You can add to them as you continue your counseling....and really feel like it but for NOW - JUST DO IT FOR who? </p><p>YOURSELF!!!!!! (i don't care if you don't feel pretty or nice or good) just do it - and paste them in the car or on the mirror....and leave them there..until you do belive them. </p><p> </p><p>Oh and when you are barfin from chemo? you may not feel so pretty - but you can look at a different one that day..<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p><p> </p><p>NOW GET OUT THERE AND MAKE THIS A DEE DAY.......not a -D day....</p><p> </p><p>A I AM GOING TO BE THE BEST DEE I CAN BEE DAY EVERY DAY AND I AM GOING TO START FROM HERE ON OUT TO TAKE CARE OF ME FIRST and when I DO??? THE REST OF THE PEOPLE AROUND ME WILL BE TAKEN CARE OF BETTER THAN THEY HAVE EVER BEEN - </p><p> </p><p>IN WITH THE GOOD AIR - (inhale) ........you didn't inhale....I'm waiting...ok.</p><p> </p><p>OUT WITH THE BAD AIR - (exhale) .......VERY GOOD....(repeat) </p><p> </p><p>ATTA GIRL......NOW GO GET "EM TIGER.......GRRRRRRRRRRR </p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Book Antiqua'"><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="color: magenta"><em>TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF THE NEW D!!!!!</em></span></span></span> </p><p> </p><p>WOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite8" alt=":D" title="Big Grin :D" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":D" /></p><p> </p><p>Hugs & Love </p><p>Starbie - the motivational Barbie - </p><p>She comes with a microphone headset, nice smile, and warrior friend raised eyebrow!!<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/tongue.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":tongue:" title="tongue :tongue:" data-shortname=":tongue:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 308494, member: 4964"] Aw.....Dee ((((((Hugs))))) You know it's not just my advice - did you see how many people saw what you posted on the Daisyfaces get it out of your system post to you? There are a LOT of gals/folks here that care about you and always will. Like flutterby said - once a member always a member. The Love of this board for you and your kids doesn't stop JUST because they grow up or you stop posting. People still check in and I'm so glad for that. I wondered about your progression with the chemo. (breathe) SO six weeks into the treatment huh? Okay - that's like you said 1/2 way there. Our Golden Guru is starting that as well. She had breast cancer. It's just seeing the caring and hugs, prayers, concern & love that gets poured out into words for people here that amazes me all the time. Some days when Dude was at his worst I swear without the support I got here? I would have never made it as well as I did. A kind word - a post just saying - HEY let us know how you are. A random - where are you post. OR just a PM now and then from someone. It means a lot when you are having a really bad day or just a bad day or just a day. Know what I mean?? I bet you do. :winking: And with a divorce after 26 years? Yeah - well.....that's got to be tough enough. I mean who ever gets married to run screaming down the aisle saying I want a divorce xx years later? There's a lot of emotional mess that has happened to you and hurt - and it's a form of abuse that I hope you address with a counselor asap. I mean it's not physical like getting hit or anything - but it HURTS and it hurts really bad. I know - same thing happened to me. He went in the hospital? The entire family showed up. I went in? I had to call a cab or walk home. The day I brought our son home? Yuup. All on our own. He was off smokin' dope. My Mother brought us home. - THe serpentine belt broke, it was 110 - the radiator over heated...nice huh? So been there done that - and when I say get some counseling from a Domestic violence counselor - I don't mean seek a therapist that deals with battery - I mean get someone who understands what it's like to be IGNORED....and abused in that sense of the word. I'm not telling you to divorce. I'm telling you take time FOR DEE. FINALLY. Raises 3 kids - battles cancer - takes care of everyone----TIME FOR YOU. NOW. So where do you go for such things? WEll - there's a lot of domestic violence shelters - and don't you NO NO NO me...yeah - whatever...the counseling there is FREE - AND AND......(are you listening to me or did you tune me out at the words domestic and violence because your brain went - but he was not violent?) see - he was not violent - BUT what I'm saying is the counselors at these places are FREE (and you have less than no money) and they deal MORE with womens abuse issues (of which you suffer - abuse -hello yes it is abuse ignoring, not taking care of you) so yeah - I'd say go there and ask for the free help and counselors that have access to the better kind of womens counseling that will fast track you to better mental health - AND get you in a group situation eventually with other women that will and can benefit from YOUR story - (see you didn't think this was YOU helping THEM did you?) yeah - well it is. Everyone you meet and everyone who meets you learns something....from each other. So before you let the "stigma" of the words domestic violence freak you out or scare you off - give it a whirl....and don't think that you don't "qualify" for the services because someone hasn't beaten you into a bloody pulp physically because darlin - he has - mentally. (passes tissue) I'm sorry. He may not be a heal or maybe he's a real jerk - or it's just that he had unresolved issues with his Mom and when she passed he just can't get over them - BUT that is NO reason to forget YOU. You should be the love of his life. You should have been treated like a Princess, and at the very least had your bills paid, and been treated with equal respect and if you weren't going to get that? It shouldn't have drug out for 5-6 years where YOU had the decision made for you to go live WHERE? Where ever you could? That's abuse. Like I said - You have no money - so no need to rush out and pay for the divorce - and FYI -a lot of domestic violence shelters will HELP with attorneys fees....(sounding better all the time now isn't it?) -[SIZE=1] oh [B]now[/B] I'm a genius...thanks. I[/SIZE] don't know for sure - but worth a visit huh? You're also going to need transportation - Medicaid has a number you can call for transportation to and from doctors appointments - most cities. :winking: - IF you get food stamps - YOu can check into this thing called ANGEL FOOD MINISTRIES....Daisy puts up a link all the time -or PM her. There are tons of local charities that may be ablel to help with clothes for interviews or job - and you should be able to check into WOrk Keys - for a better paying job and WIA --workforce Incentive act or in some places it's WOrkforce Reinvestment Act. For free college at tech. THIS IS YOU TIME GIRL......USE YOUR TIME - FOR YOU.......MAKE A LIST - SET SOME GOALS EACH WEEK no matter how lame they seem. Even if it's something simple like wash the front door glass then cross it off when it's done. It will make you feel good - promise. If you need to do this too - it helps - again - sounds lame - but since you are on your own - get a package of post it notes - write down with a heavy marker things like - I AM PRETTY - I AM WORTH IT - I AM NICE - I AM GOOD...... Post them where YOU will see them. These are called words of positive words of affirmation. You can add to them as you continue your counseling....and really feel like it but for NOW - JUST DO IT FOR who? YOURSELF!!!!!! (i don't care if you don't feel pretty or nice or good) just do it - and paste them in the car or on the mirror....and leave them there..until you do belive them. Oh and when you are barfin from chemo? you may not feel so pretty - but you can look at a different one that day..:winking: NOW GET OUT THERE AND MAKE THIS A DEE DAY.......not a -D day.... A I AM GOING TO BE THE BEST DEE I CAN BEE DAY EVERY DAY AND I AM GOING TO START FROM HERE ON OUT TO TAKE CARE OF ME FIRST and when I DO??? THE REST OF THE PEOPLE AROUND ME WILL BE TAKEN CARE OF BETTER THAN THEY HAVE EVER BEEN - IN WITH THE GOOD AIR - (inhale) ........you didn't inhale....I'm waiting...ok. OUT WITH THE BAD AIR - (exhale) .......VERY GOOD....(repeat) ATTA GIRL......NOW GO GET "EM TIGER.......GRRRRRRRRRRR [FONT=Book Antiqua][SIZE=4][COLOR=magenta][I]TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF THE NEW D!!!!![/I][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] WOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!:happy: Hugs & Love Starbie - the motivational Barbie - She comes with a microphone headset, nice smile, and warrior friend raised eyebrow!!:raspberry-tounge: [/QUOTE]
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