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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Taking your advice, thank you
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 541630"><p>Yes you are doing all the right things. I think the key is to continue to be hopeful when there is hope, but be cautious because we all know they can fool us plenty.</p><p></p><p>So I see there is some really hopeful things....he had an honest conversation with you (he might not have told you everything BUT he told you a lot and was calm in the process), he wants to speak to this guy, and he is willing to go to counselling. All of that is really good and many steps in the right direction.</p><p></p><p>I see both recovery and detachment as a process, neither happen overnight. So your son is taking some good steps towards recovery, and he may take some backward steps.... but even if he does those forward steps were still taken.</p><p></p><p>As far as detachment.... the main thing as I see it is getting clear about your boundaries, to set appropriate boundaries and to not let yourself be taken advantage of, AND to find ways to live your life. In a sense it is what we do naturally with our easy child kids... we let them go and fly free. I do not believe detachment means to stop loving or caring about our kids... to me that is not either natural or realisitic or good for anyone.</p><p></p><p>TL</p><p></p><p></p><p> I believe both recovery and detachment are a process, they do not happen over night.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 541630"] Yes you are doing all the right things. I think the key is to continue to be hopeful when there is hope, but be cautious because we all know they can fool us plenty. So I see there is some really hopeful things....he had an honest conversation with you (he might not have told you everything BUT he told you a lot and was calm in the process), he wants to speak to this guy, and he is willing to go to counselling. All of that is really good and many steps in the right direction. I see both recovery and detachment as a process, neither happen overnight. So your son is taking some good steps towards recovery, and he may take some backward steps.... but even if he does those forward steps were still taken. As far as detachment.... the main thing as I see it is getting clear about your boundaries, to set appropriate boundaries and to not let yourself be taken advantage of, AND to find ways to live your life. In a sense it is what we do naturally with our easy child kids... we let them go and fly free. I do not believe detachment means to stop loving or caring about our kids... to me that is not either natural or realisitic or good for anyone. TL I believe both recovery and detachment are a process, they do not happen over night. [/QUOTE]
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Taking your advice, thank you
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