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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 317752" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>This is his therapist- I'm ok with his counselors there (2 different things when in Department of Juvenile Justice)- although I do get frustrated when they won't return a call or something. I know I AM real picky about tdocs. I've been thru my share and felt like too many were a waste of time but a good one can change a life. I just think this one seems very green with difficult child's but I know he's behaved well there so now she thinks he's a typical teen- at least that is the way it comes across to me. And since my son pulled the "they will blame you so if you don't do what I want, I'll just refuse to do XXX, then what will you do", I am less than patient with anyone who tries to act like he was justified in breaking the law, musch less pulling a knife on me. I don't think he learns to take responsibility for his actions that way. That doesn't m,ean that I think I'm perfect or won't try to find advice for handling situations a better way- just that I know he doesn't need to be sent any messages that "if your mom was a better parent you wouldn't have done this" because he turns that into "if mom doesn't do ABC, I'll just do XYZ and that will show her".</p><p></p><p>I have reason for my concerns regarding my bro but I won't go into them again. It;s a whole chapter in itself. LOL!</p><p></p><p>She (therapist) knows that I've researched and looked into things that work or don't work with gffg. She knows I am an advocate of The Explosive Child and that the concept of problem solving rather than dictating works well with difficult child- I told her I tried it and found it very effective. Also, that behavior contracts can be thrown out the window where he is concerned but that a rewards chart with a plan for consequences kept separate works well. It's not that I don't have room for improvement or advice- it's the sending difficult child the message that his mom drove him to it (which has been said in front of him) that throws me thru the roof!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 317752, member: 3699"] This is his therapist- I'm ok with his counselors there (2 different things when in Department of Juvenile Justice)- although I do get frustrated when they won't return a call or something. I know I AM real picky about tdocs. I've been thru my share and felt like too many were a waste of time but a good one can change a life. I just think this one seems very green with difficult child's but I know he's behaved well there so now she thinks he's a typical teen- at least that is the way it comes across to me. And since my son pulled the "they will blame you so if you don't do what I want, I'll just refuse to do XXX, then what will you do", I am less than patient with anyone who tries to act like he was justified in breaking the law, musch less pulling a knife on me. I don't think he learns to take responsibility for his actions that way. That doesn't m,ean that I think I'm perfect or won't try to find advice for handling situations a better way- just that I know he doesn't need to be sent any messages that "if your mom was a better parent you wouldn't have done this" because he turns that into "if mom doesn't do ABC, I'll just do XYZ and that will show her". I have reason for my concerns regarding my bro but I won't go into them again. It;s a whole chapter in itself. LOL! She (therapist) knows that I've researched and looked into things that work or don't work with gffg. She knows I am an advocate of The Explosive Child and that the concept of problem solving rather than dictating works well with difficult child- I told her I tried it and found it very effective. Also, that behavior contracts can be thrown out the window where he is concerned but that a rewards chart with a plan for consequences kept separate works well. It's not that I don't have room for improvement or advice- it's the sending difficult child the message that his mom drove him to it (which has been said in front of him) that throws me thru the roof!! [/QUOTE]
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