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Talked Plan B with the teacher
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<blockquote data-quote="Allan-Matlem" data-source="post: 388691" data-attributes="member: 10"><p>Teacher basically said the expectations are for all students, - yes , but how do you deal with unmet expectations - do you work with kids to help them reflect on what they did and come up with a better plan or do you punish them and what does punishment teach them or rather what lesson do they learn - they should not get caught next time and this just proves that the teacher is mean and does not care about me</p><p>and difficult child should not be treated any differently. - other kids are interested in seeing that problems are being solved and can appreciate that fair does not mean equal , in any case why should difficult child be punished just because he lacks the skills to respond appropriately when demands placed apon him outstrip the skills he has to respond appropriately</p><p>I tried to remain calm and explain that she would save herself alot of headache if she would chose her battles. - she would avoid an escalation of the conflict and a possible meltdown if she would not try to use Plan A - impose her will and punish but rather calm the situation and work on your son's challenging behaviors with him .</p><p></p><p>The most recent incident could have been prevented. difficult child had to walk laps at recess for not following directions during a science activity. - Not following directions was not an act of defiance but due to difficult child lacking skills - for eg executive functions - how is punishing him going to help him acquire those skills.</p><p></p><p>Well he walked them ( a big step) but cut the corners. She made him redo them not once, but twice. He ended up throwing his shoe at her. - don't you think making suffer for lacking skills is extremely frustrating for a kid and it was just a matter of time that he would explode ? wouldn't you agree that the teacher played a big part and contributed to difficult child explosive behavior ?</p><p></p><p>We have a meeting with the team Friday. They have received my written notification that I would like difficult child to be screened for a possible disability. I was told that I need to bring possible interventions that I would like implemented as well as research to back them up. Other than Plan B, any suggestions???</p><p></p><p>I would prepare a check list of difficult child's lacking skills from <a href="http://livesinthebalance.org" target="_blank">http://livesinthebalance.org</a> site - check the paperwork Alsup , the similar checklist on <a href="http://thinkkids.org" target="_blank">http://thinkkids.org</a> the TSI may be better because it divides the lacking skills into executive functions, language processesing skills etc</p><p></p><p>This helps us establish that the problem is not defiance or the lack of motivation to behave but his behavior is telling us that he lacks the coping skills.</p><p></p><p>How do we make difficult child accountable and take responsibility - we help him acquire skills and solve his problems in a durable manner</p><p>how do we do this - by engaging in solving problems in the context of his concerns - we promote life skills , relationship and solve problems</p><p>Is it easy - No</p><p></p><p>When i have a meeting at school I use CPS to address the concerns of the school , I generally try to be the one who asks the questions - would you not agree , don't you think .</p><p></p><p>I hope this helps</p><p></p><p>Allan</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Allan-Matlem, post: 388691, member: 10"] Teacher basically said the expectations are for all students, - yes , but how do you deal with unmet expectations - do you work with kids to help them reflect on what they did and come up with a better plan or do you punish them and what does punishment teach them or rather what lesson do they learn - they should not get caught next time and this just proves that the teacher is mean and does not care about me and difficult child should not be treated any differently. - other kids are interested in seeing that problems are being solved and can appreciate that fair does not mean equal , in any case why should difficult child be punished just because he lacks the skills to respond appropriately when demands placed apon him outstrip the skills he has to respond appropriately I tried to remain calm and explain that she would save herself alot of headache if she would chose her battles. - she would avoid an escalation of the conflict and a possible meltdown if she would not try to use Plan A - impose her will and punish but rather calm the situation and work on your son's challenging behaviors with him . The most recent incident could have been prevented. difficult child had to walk laps at recess for not following directions during a science activity. - Not following directions was not an act of defiance but due to difficult child lacking skills - for eg executive functions - how is punishing him going to help him acquire those skills. Well he walked them ( a big step) but cut the corners. She made him redo them not once, but twice. He ended up throwing his shoe at her. - don't you think making suffer for lacking skills is extremely frustrating for a kid and it was just a matter of time that he would explode ? wouldn't you agree that the teacher played a big part and contributed to difficult child explosive behavior ? We have a meeting with the team Friday. They have received my written notification that I would like difficult child to be screened for a possible disability. I was told that I need to bring possible interventions that I would like implemented as well as research to back them up. Other than Plan B, any suggestions??? I would prepare a check list of difficult child's lacking skills from [url]http://livesinthebalance.org[/url] site - check the paperwork Alsup , the similar checklist on [url]http://thinkkids.org[/url] the TSI may be better because it divides the lacking skills into executive functions, language processesing skills etc This helps us establish that the problem is not defiance or the lack of motivation to behave but his behavior is telling us that he lacks the coping skills. How do we make difficult child accountable and take responsibility - we help him acquire skills and solve his problems in a durable manner how do we do this - by engaging in solving problems in the context of his concerns - we promote life skills , relationship and solve problems Is it easy - No When i have a meeting at school I use CPS to address the concerns of the school , I generally try to be the one who asks the questions - would you not agree , don't you think . I hope this helps Allan [/QUOTE]
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