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Talked to husband last night. Ideas? Thoughts? Am I expecting too much?
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<blockquote data-quote="Shari" data-source="post: 418090" data-attributes="member: 1848"><p>I've tried that Daisy. Five or six years ago, he'd sit around and doodle sketches about things he'd like to have on a house he wants to build someday, or a barn, or ways to build a corral to make pulling up and sorting the cows easier...junk like that. Now? Nothing. I ask him what he wants or where he wants to be in 10 years, and honestly, he has no idea. He can't even fabricate an answer. I've even tried asking, you know, so we get the farm...how's he going to pay the taxes? He's always out there repairing the tractors, how's he going to buy those parts? How's he going to pay for the gas to make hay for all that's required out there PLUS what we already have to do for our own animals? He has no idea. And again, doesn't seem to care.</p><p> </p><p>When the roof was leaking and Wee's ceiling was about to cave is, I asked him where are we going to live if you let this place fall in? He didn't know. NOR did he seem to care.</p><p> </p><p>I just don't get it. He knows. He agrees with me (I think this would be less frustrating if he at least argued that he DOES his share). Yet he makes absolutely no effort to improve the situation. And slightly over a week ago, I told him I'm done. Either he steps up, or I'll start making cuts and changes that he's not gonna like (ie the garden, and I told him the camper, the horses, the cows, and the trucks would potentially be on that list, as well). The house has to be maintained. We have to have a car to get to work, food on our tables, and clothes on our backs. Everything else is luxury, and I would start cutting those items out to reduce my work load to a manageable amount.</p><p> </p><p>He cut a hole in the wall of the camper and SAW NO NEED TO SEAL IT UP! How do you even WORK with someone like that? </p><p> </p><p>I'm so incredibly close to done, and it just makes me sad. Cause also in the last week? He's turned the pony out (the pony has no hair) without his blanket in freezing temps so I've had to go blanket the pony. His "forgetfullness" dang near ruined another vehicle. His need to control what my adult son did with the horse trailer blinded him to the care of his precious livestock. And I don't know how many times while camping he'd be sitting by the fire and say "why don't you go get"....and actually expect ME to get up and go to the camper and fetch him something. I don't know about most men, and again, i'm not seeking charity, but 19 weeks ago, I cut my foot off. I am doing 10-12 hours of PT a week. I live on narcotics and Advil. I wear support hose, a single pair of tennis shoes with braces in one, and compression gloves on my wrist. I have been walking for a whopping sum of 6 weeks, and he can't even help himself? He expects me to wait on him??? And be ok with it???</p><p> </p><p>I'm not.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Shari, post: 418090, member: 1848"] I've tried that Daisy. Five or six years ago, he'd sit around and doodle sketches about things he'd like to have on a house he wants to build someday, or a barn, or ways to build a corral to make pulling up and sorting the cows easier...junk like that. Now? Nothing. I ask him what he wants or where he wants to be in 10 years, and honestly, he has no idea. He can't even fabricate an answer. I've even tried asking, you know, so we get the farm...how's he going to pay the taxes? He's always out there repairing the tractors, how's he going to buy those parts? How's he going to pay for the gas to make hay for all that's required out there PLUS what we already have to do for our own animals? He has no idea. And again, doesn't seem to care. When the roof was leaking and Wee's ceiling was about to cave is, I asked him where are we going to live if you let this place fall in? He didn't know. NOR did he seem to care. I just don't get it. He knows. He agrees with me (I think this would be less frustrating if he at least argued that he DOES his share). Yet he makes absolutely no effort to improve the situation. And slightly over a week ago, I told him I'm done. Either he steps up, or I'll start making cuts and changes that he's not gonna like (ie the garden, and I told him the camper, the horses, the cows, and the trucks would potentially be on that list, as well). The house has to be maintained. We have to have a car to get to work, food on our tables, and clothes on our backs. Everything else is luxury, and I would start cutting those items out to reduce my work load to a manageable amount. He cut a hole in the wall of the camper and SAW NO NEED TO SEAL IT UP! How do you even WORK with someone like that? I'm so incredibly close to done, and it just makes me sad. Cause also in the last week? He's turned the pony out (the pony has no hair) without his blanket in freezing temps so I've had to go blanket the pony. His "forgetfullness" dang near ruined another vehicle. His need to control what my adult son did with the horse trailer blinded him to the care of his precious livestock. And I don't know how many times while camping he'd be sitting by the fire and say "why don't you go get"....and actually expect ME to get up and go to the camper and fetch him something. I don't know about most men, and again, i'm not seeking charity, but 19 weeks ago, I cut my foot off. I am doing 10-12 hours of PT a week. I live on narcotics and Advil. I wear support hose, a single pair of tennis shoes with braces in one, and compression gloves on my wrist. I have been walking for a whopping sum of 6 weeks, and he can't even help himself? He expects me to wait on him??? And be ok with it??? I'm not. [/QUOTE]
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Talked to husband last night. Ideas? Thoughts? Am I expecting too much?
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