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talking slow
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<blockquote data-quote="keista" data-source="post: 461981" data-attributes="member: 11965"><p>Ditto gcvmom about how to tell the school. If they refuse to listen they will continue to encounter problems. When they "complain" to you yet again, calmly and gently ask them if they have tried your technique. If not, please try it and see if it helps at school because it's working for you at home.</p><p></p><p>The husband issue is harder. in my opinion the "theory of mind" applies to most men and their parenting techniques (or lack there of). They seem to only remember the parts of their childhood when they were already complying to demands and instructions. Those parts where they were finally understanding what's going on and what's expected. They have no memory of the learning process (I know I don't) and therefore don't know how to deal with that process. </p><p></p><p>The most obvious such thing that sticks in my mind is when the kids would do something annoying and he would call out their name. They'd stop, look at him and then carry on. He was absolutely confused at to why they would carry on. In his MIND he told them to stop, but in reality all he did was get their attention by calling their name and since they received no further instructions, they continued on. Countless times I explained to him that AFTER getting their attention, he NEEDED to explain what he expected of them. I NEVER got through to the man. He insisted that they should just "get it".</p><p></p><p>So, the only advice I can offer on that front is to get him as involved as possible with all the professionals, so he can hear this information directly from them. Just like kids, husbands often think that "moms just don't know anything".</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="keista, post: 461981, member: 11965"] Ditto gcvmom about how to tell the school. If they refuse to listen they will continue to encounter problems. When they "complain" to you yet again, calmly and gently ask them if they have tried your technique. If not, please try it and see if it helps at school because it's working for you at home. The husband issue is harder. in my opinion the "theory of mind" applies to most men and their parenting techniques (or lack there of). They seem to only remember the parts of their childhood when they were already complying to demands and instructions. Those parts where they were finally understanding what's going on and what's expected. They have no memory of the learning process (I know I don't) and therefore don't know how to deal with that process. The most obvious such thing that sticks in my mind is when the kids would do something annoying and he would call out their name. They'd stop, look at him and then carry on. He was absolutely confused at to why they would carry on. In his MIND he told them to stop, but in reality all he did was get their attention by calling their name and since they received no further instructions, they continued on. Countless times I explained to him that AFTER getting their attention, he NEEDED to explain what he expected of them. I NEVER got through to the man. He insisted that they should just "get it". So, the only advice I can offer on that front is to get him as involved as possible with all the professionals, so he can hear this information directly from them. Just like kids, husbands often think that "moms just don't know anything". [/QUOTE]
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