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Teachers.... some shouldn't be
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 131680" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Just thinking of the problems you can get into when you name toys in school - remember the teacher whose naming of a class teddy bear got her deported from the country where she had been a popular teacher for a number of years?</p><p></p><p>Personally, if I had been the kid with the bear, I would have made a noose for it; and that would probably have got me into trouble these days too.</p><p></p><p>I remember when the deputy at difficult child 1's school was doing her utmost to get me angry with him, instead of my fury at her mishandling of a situation. She had searched his bag after he had brought his cheap throwing knives to school (an accident, but a darn stupid thing to do) and was trying to pile the fuel on the fire. She found a length of string he'd used to make a noose - it was miniature, it wouldn't have strangled a pencil. And I had seen him fiddle with bits of string and short rope at home, making a noose - it was nothing significant. Then she tried to get me angry with him because he had a VERY crumpled page from a soft-porn magazine in his bag. Judging by the degree of crumpling, it had been in his bag for most of the year, totally unregarded. He told me (in front of the teacher) who he had got it from, it was someone he was no longer associating with. I examined the page thoroughly, it was VERY mild, thoroughly air-brushed and nothing I found offensive. The teacher was trying to imply that having this in his bag meant he was likely to be molesting little kids (or similar degree of shock! horror!) so I deliberately downplayed it even further, pointing out that if she searched the bags of all the other boys in difficult child 1's grade, it would be amazing if she DIDN'T find similar material. "At least we know he's straight," I pointed out to the deputy.</p><p></p><p>Do watch out for this behaviour in some teachers - the bad ones, in general. When they have over-reacted and escalated a situation, they will try to justify their actions by making it seem that the child really did warrant that degree of reaction; "he was cheeking me," is a common one because it's so subjective and also so hard to get witnesses to the incident after the fact, especially when a teacher is trying to rewrite the truth. And if you don't buy that line, the next thing they try will be the deflection option; "he has been very difficult lately, very disruptive and rude in class, I don't think you realise just how concerned we have been."</p><p></p><p>I'm not saying that our kids are perfect; teachers aren't perfect either. If you're lucky, most teachers at your child's school will be honest, hard-working caring people, but as you said in the title of this post, some people should never become teachers. Those people who need someone to push around in order to feel important - they should quit the job NOW. It was having teachers like that, that made me want to become a teacher myself. I never made it into the system (they rejected me on health grounds, you need to be physically fit to be a teacher) but I had done all the training except for the final six weeks. And I have taught - adults, some special classes and individual coaching.</p><p></p><p>I've known some wonderful teachers, and I've known some utterly awful ones. Unfortunately, the utterly awful ones often rise to a position of power within the school (official power, or unofficial) and this can bring down an entire school's standards of human dignity, despite the presence of good teachers.</p><p></p><p>I think the ultimate message of "This woman is bad for my child," was when she read the letter I'd written to the principal (marked confidential - and this deputy opened the letter in front of me) where I had written, "he feels unsupported and has also felt harassed at times."</p><p>She leaned over the desk to within inches from difficult child 1, who by this stage was curled into a fetal position, and shouted at him, "WHO'S been harassing you?" over and over, until he muttered, "nobody," in a tiny voice, at which point she looked at me triumphantly. It had been more important to her to score points, than to consider what she was doing to difficult child 1 in the process.</p><p>It was about that point that my mobile phone rang with a message from the correspondence school, letting me know that difficult child 1's application had been successful and he was now officially enrolled elsewhere. I announced this to the deputy, whose face went grey and whose manner changed. "Of course we don't want him to leave. And how could they accept his enrolment? I told you months ago he was ineligible for correspondence."</p><p>She backpedalled fast, almost pleaded with us to not transfer him, told us it was an unhealthy move, he would fail, he needed their support, of course they wanted him to stay, etc. She used every wile in the book, because I knew that his transfer meant they would have to hand back the support funding they had just received from the Federal Government on his behalf.</p><p></p><p>I could have stayed to fight. I could have really caused trouble for this woman, but as easy child 2/difficult child 2 was still at the same school, I felt it would be a bad idea to make any more waves.</p><p></p><p>Needless to say, difficult child 1 did a lot better emotionally and academically after switching to correspondence.</p><p></p><p>Only rarely do I dislike a teacher and their methods to such a degree, that I seriously regret not laying charges of abuse, bullying, discrimination. This was one such time. And where she is concerned, I am not alone - I think I know who that noose was meant for, metaphorically speaking.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 131680, member: 1991"] Just thinking of the problems you can get into when you name toys in school - remember the teacher whose naming of a class teddy bear got her deported from the country where she had been a popular teacher for a number of years? Personally, if I had been the kid with the bear, I would have made a noose for it; and that would probably have got me into trouble these days too. I remember when the deputy at difficult child 1's school was doing her utmost to get me angry with him, instead of my fury at her mishandling of a situation. She had searched his bag after he had brought his cheap throwing knives to school (an accident, but a darn stupid thing to do) and was trying to pile the fuel on the fire. She found a length of string he'd used to make a noose - it was miniature, it wouldn't have strangled a pencil. And I had seen him fiddle with bits of string and short rope at home, making a noose - it was nothing significant. Then she tried to get me angry with him because he had a VERY crumpled page from a soft-porn magazine in his bag. Judging by the degree of crumpling, it had been in his bag for most of the year, totally unregarded. He told me (in front of the teacher) who he had got it from, it was someone he was no longer associating with. I examined the page thoroughly, it was VERY mild, thoroughly air-brushed and nothing I found offensive. The teacher was trying to imply that having this in his bag meant he was likely to be molesting little kids (or similar degree of shock! horror!) so I deliberately downplayed it even further, pointing out that if she searched the bags of all the other boys in difficult child 1's grade, it would be amazing if she DIDN'T find similar material. "At least we know he's straight," I pointed out to the deputy. Do watch out for this behaviour in some teachers - the bad ones, in general. When they have over-reacted and escalated a situation, they will try to justify their actions by making it seem that the child really did warrant that degree of reaction; "he was cheeking me," is a common one because it's so subjective and also so hard to get witnesses to the incident after the fact, especially when a teacher is trying to rewrite the truth. And if you don't buy that line, the next thing they try will be the deflection option; "he has been very difficult lately, very disruptive and rude in class, I don't think you realise just how concerned we have been." I'm not saying that our kids are perfect; teachers aren't perfect either. If you're lucky, most teachers at your child's school will be honest, hard-working caring people, but as you said in the title of this post, some people should never become teachers. Those people who need someone to push around in order to feel important - they should quit the job NOW. It was having teachers like that, that made me want to become a teacher myself. I never made it into the system (they rejected me on health grounds, you need to be physically fit to be a teacher) but I had done all the training except for the final six weeks. And I have taught - adults, some special classes and individual coaching. I've known some wonderful teachers, and I've known some utterly awful ones. Unfortunately, the utterly awful ones often rise to a position of power within the school (official power, or unofficial) and this can bring down an entire school's standards of human dignity, despite the presence of good teachers. I think the ultimate message of "This woman is bad for my child," was when she read the letter I'd written to the principal (marked confidential - and this deputy opened the letter in front of me) where I had written, "he feels unsupported and has also felt harassed at times." She leaned over the desk to within inches from difficult child 1, who by this stage was curled into a fetal position, and shouted at him, "WHO'S been harassing you?" over and over, until he muttered, "nobody," in a tiny voice, at which point she looked at me triumphantly. It had been more important to her to score points, than to consider what she was doing to difficult child 1 in the process. It was about that point that my mobile phone rang with a message from the correspondence school, letting me know that difficult child 1's application had been successful and he was now officially enrolled elsewhere. I announced this to the deputy, whose face went grey and whose manner changed. "Of course we don't want him to leave. And how could they accept his enrolment? I told you months ago he was ineligible for correspondence." She backpedalled fast, almost pleaded with us to not transfer him, told us it was an unhealthy move, he would fail, he needed their support, of course they wanted him to stay, etc. She used every wile in the book, because I knew that his transfer meant they would have to hand back the support funding they had just received from the Federal Government on his behalf. I could have stayed to fight. I could have really caused trouble for this woman, but as easy child 2/difficult child 2 was still at the same school, I felt it would be a bad idea to make any more waves. Needless to say, difficult child 1 did a lot better emotionally and academically after switching to correspondence. Only rarely do I dislike a teacher and their methods to such a degree, that I seriously regret not laying charges of abuse, bullying, discrimination. This was one such time. And where she is concerned, I am not alone - I think I know who that noose was meant for, metaphorically speaking. Marg [/QUOTE]
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