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Tears in my eyes, pain in my heart but yet i put a smile on my face
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<blockquote data-quote="Chasing Happiness" data-source="post: 531604" data-attributes="member: 14653"><p><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'century gothic'">Thanks so much for all the replies and i def dont feel alone here. Tommorow is mothers day which makes me feel even sadder that my situation is like it is but im going to go to dinner with my husband, and parents and then for dessert to my adult daughters home. Currently, me and my 20 yr old daughter which ive had a hard road with are now finally talking so taking it as it comes with her.</span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'century gothic'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'century gothic'">All your replies made alot of sense to me. It took me a long time to believe my son was actually abusing me because he didnt hit me but he did such mean things to me all the time such as he would take a shower and you know how the mirror will fog up, well he would write F You on it, he would pee all over my toilet and some on floor. When i would go to use the toilet i would literally sit in pee. i told him about it many times and i know it was being done on purpose though he will deny that. His bedroom wall alone had 33 holes in it because hubby had to patch them when we went to move. i was also finding broken steak knives in the room and we found slash marks in the wall of his bedroom also. The last yr he went without a bedroom door because he had destroyed 3 doors by smashing holes in them. He would harrass me daily about rides, money etc... refusing to go to school, work, or do anything but blame me for life.</span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'century gothic'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'century gothic'">I begged for him to get help and he refused so i couldnt drag him there. his bio dad and i do not speak. i am told things from my daughter who speaks to him and she said my ex feels our son should get therapy. i do hope he does get it because he needs it. when he lived with me he had a girlfriend and he used her. she paid of his cell phone, brought him food and so on and he used her. Then he had another girlfriend and same thing. Both of those girls did well in school, held jobs and one was going on to college this fall coming. He took total advantage of their feelings and hurt both of them. He uses people for his own benefit. </span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'century gothic'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'century gothic'">He also has been very disrespectful to my husband. There had actually been 2 physical altercations in the past yr as well. My son is out of control and def says things to hurt me and it sure does. I am going to see a therapist and will be setting up an appointment to do so because i do need some help with how to cope with all of this. For a long time i went through alot of guilt with what did i do wrong and even now im trying hard to accept i didnt do anything and this is my adult sons issues that he needs to get help for and i cannot fix him but i need to work on fixing myself now. when he moved out i actually felt relief. i no longer would be a prisoner hiding from him in my own home. the words he has said have left many emotional scars since ive been hearing them all the time for a good year or so and once my son began acting this way it stirred up bad feelings i had from when i lived with his bio dad in an abusive marriage. i am a soft person and my hubby tells me everyone steps all over me because im too soft hearted. i do like that quality about myself and dont want to become a bitter, mean person due to my sons hurt he has caused me.</span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'century gothic'"></span></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family: 'century gothic'">Hope you all have a happy mothers day.</span></span></strong></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Chasing Happiness, post: 531604, member: 14653"] [B][SIZE=4][FONT=century gothic]Thanks so much for all the replies and i def dont feel alone here. Tommorow is mothers day which makes me feel even sadder that my situation is like it is but im going to go to dinner with my husband, and parents and then for dessert to my adult daughters home. Currently, me and my 20 yr old daughter which ive had a hard road with are now finally talking so taking it as it comes with her. All your replies made alot of sense to me. It took me a long time to believe my son was actually abusing me because he didnt hit me but he did such mean things to me all the time such as he would take a shower and you know how the mirror will fog up, well he would write F You on it, he would pee all over my toilet and some on floor. When i would go to use the toilet i would literally sit in pee. i told him about it many times and i know it was being done on purpose though he will deny that. His bedroom wall alone had 33 holes in it because hubby had to patch them when we went to move. i was also finding broken steak knives in the room and we found slash marks in the wall of his bedroom also. The last yr he went without a bedroom door because he had destroyed 3 doors by smashing holes in them. He would harrass me daily about rides, money etc... refusing to go to school, work, or do anything but blame me for life. I begged for him to get help and he refused so i couldnt drag him there. his bio dad and i do not speak. i am told things from my daughter who speaks to him and she said my ex feels our son should get therapy. i do hope he does get it because he needs it. when he lived with me he had a girlfriend and he used her. she paid of his cell phone, brought him food and so on and he used her. Then he had another girlfriend and same thing. Both of those girls did well in school, held jobs and one was going on to college this fall coming. He took total advantage of their feelings and hurt both of them. He uses people for his own benefit. He also has been very disrespectful to my husband. There had actually been 2 physical altercations in the past yr as well. My son is out of control and def says things to hurt me and it sure does. I am going to see a therapist and will be setting up an appointment to do so because i do need some help with how to cope with all of this. For a long time i went through alot of guilt with what did i do wrong and even now im trying hard to accept i didnt do anything and this is my adult sons issues that he needs to get help for and i cannot fix him but i need to work on fixing myself now. when he moved out i actually felt relief. i no longer would be a prisoner hiding from him in my own home. the words he has said have left many emotional scars since ive been hearing them all the time for a good year or so and once my son began acting this way it stirred up bad feelings i had from when i lived with his bio dad in an abusive marriage. i am a soft person and my hubby tells me everyone steps all over me because im too soft hearted. i do like that quality about myself and dont want to become a bitter, mean person due to my sons hurt he has caused me. Hope you all have a happy mothers day.[/FONT][/SIZE][/B] [/QUOTE]
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