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<blockquote data-quote="miles2go" data-source="post: 407202" data-attributes="member: 6374"><p>I know it's been said in this thread and it may not apply to your situation but I think it's worth repeating that these days dating is out, hooking up is in. You are not "dating someon or not", you are "sexually active or not".</p><p>My daughter after coming home from a sleepover:"Are you proud of me, dad? <The girl whose place it was>, another girl and I stayed in, but two other girls went to <local elementary school grounds> to have sex." I am slow on the uptake, "umm with whom, with each other?". "No, some boys met them there". As I sit there trying to digest, "so aren't you proud of me, dad?" "Umm yeah honey".</p><p>It has become about the same as sneaking a cigarette with friends. </p><p>No representations are made about emotional commitment and not much clothes comes off; one just decides one's ready under overt or not-so-overt peer pressure.</p><p>And then they discover emotional flood that is hard for much stronger people to make sense of.</p><p>On another occasion my daughter says "Dad, you need to buy me a ring with a diamond, some girls have one for this." I know she's talking about purity ring but I ask "A ring for what?". "The ring prevents you from becoming a w*****".</p><p>I of course ask how big a diamond does she need for that and reflect that the potency of the ring must have declined (rather than protecting virginity it just prevents whoredom) but then I realize that it is the same thing to them -- if not a virgin then a w*****, nothing in the middle.</p><p>If not a tee-totaler then a binge-drinker, it's just the way their brain is.</p><p>Your daughter is not like a grown-up dealing with issues, she's like a person whose brain is going to go through a difficult and vulnerable spot -- good luck to her and you going througj it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="miles2go, post: 407202, member: 6374"] I know it's been said in this thread and it may not apply to your situation but I think it's worth repeating that these days dating is out, hooking up is in. You are not "dating someon or not", you are "sexually active or not". My daughter after coming home from a sleepover:"Are you proud of me, dad? <The girl whose place it was>, another girl and I stayed in, but two other girls went to <local elementary school grounds> to have sex." I am slow on the uptake, "umm with whom, with each other?". "No, some boys met them there". As I sit there trying to digest, "so aren't you proud of me, dad?" "Umm yeah honey". It has become about the same as sneaking a cigarette with friends. No representations are made about emotional commitment and not much clothes comes off; one just decides one's ready under overt or not-so-overt peer pressure. And then they discover emotional flood that is hard for much stronger people to make sense of. On another occasion my daughter says "Dad, you need to buy me a ring with a diamond, some girls have one for this." I know she's talking about purity ring but I ask "A ring for what?". "The ring prevents you from becoming a w*****". I of course ask how big a diamond does she need for that and reflect that the potency of the ring must have declined (rather than protecting virginity it just prevents whoredom) but then I realize that it is the same thing to them -- if not a virgin then a w*****, nothing in the middle. If not a tee-totaler then a binge-drinker, it's just the way their brain is. Your daughter is not like a grown-up dealing with issues, she's like a person whose brain is going to go through a difficult and vulnerable spot -- good luck to her and you going througj it. [/QUOTE]
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