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Terrible Day with Oldest difficult child (release vent)
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<blockquote data-quote="CrazyinVA" data-source="post: 527145" data-attributes="member: 1157"><p>I'm sorry, I know it is SO frustrating. One suggestion (even though I know you didn't ask for any, just venting). Next time she starts talking about her plans for school: try saying, "ok, cool... let's talk later about how you might be able to do that." This is something I learned with my kids. Many times Youngest comes to me with grand plans, plans I know aren't possible. But if I try to tell her why she can't do things that way? A huge blow-up ensues, similar to what you experienced (and oh boy, they can push the nasty buttons can't they?!) . I realized I needed to let *her* figure out why it wouldn't work, on her own. I now try to bite my tongue as much as I can, until she figures it out herself. </p><p></p><p>Youngest has anxiety issues too, gets overwhelmed easily and also doesn't like to make calls. Sometimes I have to lead her through it by saying, "ok, so what do you need to do to accomplish that?" or "have you thought about this?" Don't give her a laundry list of why she can't do it, let her come up with that list herself. She may still get angry once she figures out she can't do it her way, but, it's a slightly different level of anger, and it's less likely to be directed at you full-force. Because it's not you telling her she's wrong, it's the facts telling her she's wrong.. if that makes sense. </p><p></p><p>Easier said than done, of course, when you're woken up by a tirade. I know personally I'm darn cranky if someone wakes me up from a nap LOL.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CrazyinVA, post: 527145, member: 1157"] I'm sorry, I know it is SO frustrating. One suggestion (even though I know you didn't ask for any, just venting). Next time she starts talking about her plans for school: try saying, "ok, cool... let's talk later about how you might be able to do that." This is something I learned with my kids. Many times Youngest comes to me with grand plans, plans I know aren't possible. But if I try to tell her why she can't do things that way? A huge blow-up ensues, similar to what you experienced (and oh boy, they can push the nasty buttons can't they?!) . I realized I needed to let *her* figure out why it wouldn't work, on her own. I now try to bite my tongue as much as I can, until she figures it out herself. Youngest has anxiety issues too, gets overwhelmed easily and also doesn't like to make calls. Sometimes I have to lead her through it by saying, "ok, so what do you need to do to accomplish that?" or "have you thought about this?" Don't give her a laundry list of why she can't do it, let her come up with that list herself. She may still get angry once she figures out she can't do it her way, but, it's a slightly different level of anger, and it's less likely to be directed at you full-force. Because it's not you telling her she's wrong, it's the facts telling her she's wrong.. if that makes sense. Easier said than done, of course, when you're woken up by a tirade. I know personally I'm darn cranky if someone wakes me up from a nap LOL. [/QUOTE]
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Terrible Day with Oldest difficult child (release vent)
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