Oh my, SWOT! I am in no way offended by your comments. They are truthful, insightful and said in perfect context. They are both wanted and needed! Thank you. 
I so wish that you and I were wrong. I know that she will never seek treatment. My husband wavers a bit - he said today that because we helped son and our hoarder friend that maybe we should help daughter now. I asked him if he had taken total leave of his senses. I reminded him of all the "help" we have given her in the past many years (think I need to print out all of my old posts for him to read again).
The truths will start coming out. She doesn't have the greatest memory and there are things that will be said that will help me fill in the details. Everything she does is with a motive. Time to play True Detective again.
I agree with others who have stated in various posts that it is often better to "love from a distance". Even that can be hard.
