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The 2nd (maybe 3rd) worst phone call
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<blockquote data-quote="Snow White" data-source="post: 738857" data-attributes="member: 355"><p>Thank you to all for the reinforcing comments and suggestions. They are not lost on me and hubby.</p><p></p><p>We are breathing a HUGE sigh but still holding our breath. I last posted on Thursday, at which point daughter was on her "bicycle" idea. She went to a couple of bike shops but found it was too expensive. She returned to the house and then....reconnects with the boyfriend on Skype. She tried to convince him to come back - offered to pay gas money, flight, whatever. He was hesitant. She spent all night online. They have now planned to work on a fruit farm (boyfriend has a friend who owns a farm), earn a few weeks pay and then head to western Canada. On Friday, she continued working on her plan and late in the evening booked herself on a one-way ticket back to her boyfriend. So - off to the airport at 6 am on Saturday - happy to do it but so exhausted! </p><p></p><p>As she hugged me goodbye, the realization set in that this was a total game changer and that the next time will not be the way things used to be. I was instantly sad for my "perceived loss" but in retrospect I have actually "gained"....gain control, gain freedom, gain a healthy home. </p><p></p><p>Heard from her late Saturday night. She is with the boyfriend. All is well. Or so we thought. Was just walking into a desperately needed yoga class when I received a message from the boyfriend's mother, who is clearly upset. She says that her son won't speak with her and that she believes he is returning to our city. She hopes he will be ok. My thought is now that my daughter and boyfriend are refusing contact with his family so that they can proceed with their plan. I've heard nothing from daughter since. That's why there is still some "breath holding"!!!</p><p></p><p></p><p>Lil - We came so close but then she back-tracked and missed the only bus out that day. In a way, I'm glad we didn't pay. This whole visit has been expensive ($500+ for her flight and $400 that his parents sent for him to return home).</p><p></p><p></p><p>SWOT - even when she hugged me at the airport, I couldn't get some of the visions of her behaviour out of my mind. And all I have to do is look at the side of our nearly new fridge to remember her by!</p><p></p><p></p><p>Hubby and I are firm in our plan going forward. She and/or boyfriend will not be allowed to stay in our home. They can stay in a nearby hotel/hostel/AirBNB and we will visit them. We will not provide money or pay for any debts they incur. </p><p></p><p></p><p>I had not heard this story in years - very appropriate. Thank you!</p><p></p><p></p><p>DoneDad - there were days when she spoke of being pregnant and then days when she said nothing. And normally she 'fixates' on health issues, so it is quite odd. I'm hoping it's fake news. I don't think my husband and I could do the work that you are doing now to raise your grandchild. There will be a special place in heaven for you and your wife.</p><p></p><p>To end the story - today is our 35th anniversary! Our 20 year-old dishwasher died on Saturday (somewhat poetic), so our anniversary gift to ourselves will be a new one! I can't imagine sharing this up-and-down lifetime adventure with anyone else - we have been each other's rocks and we've definitely learned to roll!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Snow White, post: 738857, member: 355"] Thank you to all for the reinforcing comments and suggestions. They are not lost on me and hubby. We are breathing a HUGE sigh but still holding our breath. I last posted on Thursday, at which point daughter was on her "bicycle" idea. She went to a couple of bike shops but found it was too expensive. She returned to the house and then....reconnects with the boyfriend on Skype. She tried to convince him to come back - offered to pay gas money, flight, whatever. He was hesitant. She spent all night online. They have now planned to work on a fruit farm (boyfriend has a friend who owns a farm), earn a few weeks pay and then head to western Canada. On Friday, she continued working on her plan and late in the evening booked herself on a one-way ticket back to her boyfriend. So - off to the airport at 6 am on Saturday - happy to do it but so exhausted! As she hugged me goodbye, the realization set in that this was a total game changer and that the next time will not be the way things used to be. I was instantly sad for my "perceived loss" but in retrospect I have actually "gained"....gain control, gain freedom, gain a healthy home. Heard from her late Saturday night. She is with the boyfriend. All is well. Or so we thought. Was just walking into a desperately needed yoga class when I received a message from the boyfriend's mother, who is clearly upset. She says that her son won't speak with her and that she believes he is returning to our city. She hopes he will be ok. My thought is now that my daughter and boyfriend are refusing contact with his family so that they can proceed with their plan. I've heard nothing from daughter since. That's why there is still some "breath holding"!!! Lil - We came so close but then she back-tracked and missed the only bus out that day. In a way, I'm glad we didn't pay. This whole visit has been expensive ($500+ for her flight and $400 that his parents sent for him to return home). SWOT - even when she hugged me at the airport, I couldn't get some of the visions of her behaviour out of my mind. And all I have to do is look at the side of our nearly new fridge to remember her by! Hubby and I are firm in our plan going forward. She and/or boyfriend will not be allowed to stay in our home. They can stay in a nearby hotel/hostel/AirBNB and we will visit them. We will not provide money or pay for any debts they incur. I had not heard this story in years - very appropriate. Thank you! DoneDad - there were days when she spoke of being pregnant and then days when she said nothing. And normally she 'fixates' on health issues, so it is quite odd. I'm hoping it's fake news. I don't think my husband and I could do the work that you are doing now to raise your grandchild. There will be a special place in heaven for you and your wife. To end the story - today is our 35th anniversary! Our 20 year-old dishwasher died on Saturday (somewhat poetic), so our anniversary gift to ourselves will be a new one! I can't imagine sharing this up-and-down lifetime adventure with anyone else - we have been each other's rocks and we've definitely learned to roll!!! [/QUOTE]
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The 2nd (maybe 3rd) worst phone call
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