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Parent Emeritus
The Bad, the Good, and the Ugly
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<blockquote data-quote="Steely" data-source="post: 484148" data-attributes="member: 3301"><p>Thanks guys....I really am so overwhelmed by this and I don't really know why. I had nightmares all night long. I think him acting that upset, triggers my PTSD from when he was younger and he would lose complete control in his rages. I also think the realization that he has been sexually abused brings up a ton of guilt on my part for leaving him with those sitters. It also triggers my own past sexual abuse. In addition my Dad was abusive to him - and to me - which triggers a million things for me. What a twisted web this all is, you know? </p><p></p><p>I am familiar with EMDR, and there is not someone who offers it in the town I live in - however - I believe the counselor Matt is using does offer it. I feel like he is going to someone who really could change his life. She is a psychologist who has devoted her whole career to anxiety and she has several clinics in Portland. So if she thinks EMDR is a good choice for him, than I would hope she would implement it. The biggest problem in all of this is him getting to the appts because of his agoraphobia. He is terrified of public transit, or even learning to drive for that matter. She is supposed to be slowly working with him on the bus issue, as that is the most pressing thing.</p><p></p><p>Overall - this is amazing that he has finally surrendered to his inner fears and demons, and decided to confront them. I mean, I am just so thrilled for him that he *really* <em>finally</em> gets what it is going to take to change his life around, and is willing to do the work for it. He has a lot of trauma - far more than I ever truly grasped until now. I remember distinctly the day his behavior changed, and it was while he was with those sitters. Now I know why. From there he started acting out everywhere, creating or encountering traumatic events. This trauma gathered so much momentum in his psyche that by the time he was 16 he was uncontrollable and had to leave the house. In retrospect I am wondering how much of this was a chemical imbalance, or trauma? His counselor seems to think he actually does not fit the criteria at all of Bi-Polar, which I find rather interesting, although I am not convinced. However I do know that medications never really touched the deep issue - they would control his moods to some extent - but only for short periods of time.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Steely, post: 484148, member: 3301"] Thanks guys....I really am so overwhelmed by this and I don't really know why. I had nightmares all night long. I think him acting that upset, triggers my PTSD from when he was younger and he would lose complete control in his rages. I also think the realization that he has been sexually abused brings up a ton of guilt on my part for leaving him with those sitters. It also triggers my own past sexual abuse. In addition my Dad was abusive to him - and to me - which triggers a million things for me. What a twisted web this all is, you know? I am familiar with EMDR, and there is not someone who offers it in the town I live in - however - I believe the counselor Matt is using does offer it. I feel like he is going to someone who really could change his life. She is a psychologist who has devoted her whole career to anxiety and she has several clinics in Portland. So if she thinks EMDR is a good choice for him, than I would hope she would implement it. The biggest problem in all of this is him getting to the appts because of his agoraphobia. He is terrified of public transit, or even learning to drive for that matter. She is supposed to be slowly working with him on the bus issue, as that is the most pressing thing. Overall - this is amazing that he has finally surrendered to his inner fears and demons, and decided to confront them. I mean, I am just so thrilled for him that he *really* [I]finally[/I] gets what it is going to take to change his life around, and is willing to do the work for it. He has a lot of trauma - far more than I ever truly grasped until now. I remember distinctly the day his behavior changed, and it was while he was with those sitters. Now I know why. From there he started acting out everywhere, creating or encountering traumatic events. This trauma gathered so much momentum in his psyche that by the time he was 16 he was uncontrollable and had to leave the house. In retrospect I am wondering how much of this was a chemical imbalance, or trauma? His counselor seems to think he actually does not fit the criteria at all of Bi-Polar, which I find rather interesting, although I am not convinced. However I do know that medications never really touched the deep issue - they would control his moods to some extent - but only for short periods of time. [/QUOTE]
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