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Parent Emeritus
the ball is in his court??
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<blockquote data-quote="Sam3" data-source="post: 720292" data-attributes="member: 19290"><p>Mine also wants independence without responsibility minute to minute. </p><p> </p><p>But it helps to remember that my two younger ones don't even think in those terms. They act reasonably responsibly and growing independence is the natural consequence. They make teenage mistakes and pull teenage moves to try and get away with some things. I'm sure they will not ask me if they can roll around in the hay or smoke a cigarette or drink a beer and they will lie about a sleepover when the parents aren't there. </p><p></p><p>It isn't the dishonesty or lack of performance at any given moment. It's the long and consistent history of that coupled with the mantra that if he did it, and of course I'm insane to think that he did, that he's a victim of the cosmos and entitled to reparations. It might be a defense mechanism, sure -- but it's always the same small universe of one who is capable of "getting it."</p><p></p><p>I am tempted to print out and read him the stories of the dozens of other uniquely afflicted DCs from this forum, to give him some perspective. The scenarios are so old, I swear there are times I have read posts that I thought I had written and had just forgotten.</p><p></p><p>Maybe I can use his narcissistic tendencies against him and let him know he is just average in the large group of young people who claim to have "a parent problem" rather than a drug problem or behavioral issues. Maybe he would conclude he has</p><p>to rise above that meme in order to really be special.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Sam3, post: 720292, member: 19290"] Mine also wants independence without responsibility minute to minute. But it helps to remember that my two younger ones don't even think in those terms. They act reasonably responsibly and growing independence is the natural consequence. They make teenage mistakes and pull teenage moves to try and get away with some things. I'm sure they will not ask me if they can roll around in the hay or smoke a cigarette or drink a beer and they will lie about a sleepover when the parents aren't there. It isn't the dishonesty or lack of performance at any given moment. It's the long and consistent history of that coupled with the mantra that if he did it, and of course I'm insane to think that he did, that he's a victim of the cosmos and entitled to reparations. It might be a defense mechanism, sure -- but it's always the same small universe of one who is capable of "getting it." I am tempted to print out and read him the stories of the dozens of other uniquely afflicted DCs from this forum, to give him some perspective. The scenarios are so old, I swear there are times I have read posts that I thought I had written and had just forgotten. Maybe I can use his narcissistic tendencies against him and let him know he is just average in the large group of young people who claim to have "a parent problem" rather than a drug problem or behavioral issues. Maybe he would conclude he has to rise above that meme in order to really be special. [/QUOTE]
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the ball is in his court??
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