my son finally called last night. 3 weeks ago he had called saying he had been robbed at gunpoint. lost pack, phone, access to money. Wanted to come home. I said no. The robbery is a direct consequence of how you choose to live. Solve it. For 3 days i stood firm until i could bear it no more. i think what undid me was remembering his antivirals were in his pack. i became very afraid. i called his friend to relay the message he could come home for respite and to regroup to make decisions. for my part. no conditions to return. but you need to call m and work it out with him. he said: i know how deep is your concern about the marijuana. i want to tell you i will stop. i have a few things to handle and i will call m. he mentioned somebody gave him a car to sleep in, in front of a kfc. he never called. so last night he said: you said i could come home. no conditions. there are always conditions in life. i have weaned myself off marijuana. i want to come home. (there is another property. in the week or so before he left 3 months ago he had punched holes in the walls. we had been lovingly remodeling it. in a rage.) i said. why? you hate it here. just yesterday your friend told me how much you do not want to come back here to our town. friend had said a friend had a room my son could rent--$700--a high rent area. he assured me there was lots of work for my son. there is a network of contractors that dominate a subset of trades. my son is able to do this heavy work and because he is trilingual and nobody speaks english he is useful. friend said my son understands he has to take his hoody off, dress neatly and cleanly, etc. friend said my son could work just 2 or 3 daya a week and have the rent paid. he will not give my son work unless my son gets housing. i asked my son. what about this plan? what do you have here? you hate it. my family. he says. bs. j. talk to a therapust. . think deep inside of yourself what you want. after i hung up i remembered he had never called m. nor did he mention him. m said. its the end of the month. j is out of money. i do not think so. friend will loan him money. m continued. don't think about it. j will decide. all of this is just words. the friend. j. i don't believe the bulk of it. let's see what j comes up with. until there is a concrete plan,it's all words. i am so conflicted.