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the ball is in his court??
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 721109" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>sam thank you. first said, i agree.</p><p></p><p>how is your mother, sam?</p><p></p><p>how do you do what you describe? first the concept and then how to implement it. operationalize it.</p><p></p><p>first there is the issue of attribution. </p><p></p><p>i am ascribing intent to harm where there may be none. i can see it. and i am (with his help) inserting myself into the effect of what happens to him or could. yes. but much of my suffering is what ifs. the question is, how come?</p><p></p><p>he is like a climate denier and i am the sierra club. the former sees only a lot of storms. the latter (me) sees a million ways to take responsibility to intervene.</p><p></p><p>there is a helplessness here. that i have a way to reverse. by locating power and focus in myself and letting him do the same.</p><p></p><p> i cannot control his stance to his microclimate. yet i put myself in a situation where i am buffeted by it. in ways we all know.</p><p></p><p>i cannot sleep through the night. i have nightmares. etceteta. i ruminate over what next. especially for what comes when i die.</p><p></p><p>i know this apartment is unsustainable for him unless he decides to sustain it. but it is clearly unsustainable for me.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 721109, member: 18958"] sam thank you. first said, i agree. how is your mother, sam? how do you do what you describe? first the concept and then how to implement it. operationalize it. first there is the issue of attribution. i am ascribing intent to harm where there may be none. i can see it. and i am (with his help) inserting myself into the effect of what happens to him or could. yes. but much of my suffering is what ifs. the question is, how come? he is like a climate denier and i am the sierra club. the former sees only a lot of storms. the latter (me) sees a million ways to take responsibility to intervene. there is a helplessness here. that i have a way to reverse. by locating power and focus in myself and letting him do the same. i cannot control his stance to his microclimate. yet i put myself in a situation where i am buffeted by it. in ways we all know. i cannot sleep through the night. i have nightmares. etceteta. i ruminate over what next. especially for what comes when i die. i know this apartment is unsustainable for him unless he decides to sustain it. but it is clearly unsustainable for me. [/QUOTE]
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the ball is in his court??
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