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the ball is in his court??
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 723147" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>I think “Hey, you’ve got to hide your love away” can be interpreted in many different ways, cultures and situations.</p><p>Today, I look at it as “guard your heart”.</p><p>"The heart is more treacherous than anything else and is desperate. Who can know it?"</p><p>Thats from the Bible.</p><p>Not that I am imposing religion on anyone, guys, I am not a church goer, but I do believe there is a higher power, whatever anyone wants to call it. And, yes, we were made to be spiritual beings.</p><p></p><p>I think our hearts can desire something so badly, we can become a slave to it.</p><p> Love.</p><p>We love our d c's with all our heart,</p><p>they don't do well,</p><p>we slide down the rabbit hole with them <em>in our own way.</em></p><p>Desperation.</p><p></p><p>If we could just breathe.</p><p>Not base our lives on expectations for others, our d cs included.</p><p></p><p>So simple, and yet so difficult at the same time.</p><p></p><p> We are all hugely imperfect. Keeping centered, mindfulness. Not being easily offended, not taking things personally.</p><p> I think this is a good formula for walking through life.</p><p>Everyone is imperfect, we say and do things we don't mean.</p><p>I think once we find our footing with ourselves, stay grounded, we can achieve much. Maybe even peace and joy, despite what our beloveds are doing? Not doing?</p><p></p><p> I don't think it is accepting abuse, I think it is a realistic view that people are people. That they are not necessarily attacking you, they are reacting to their own history and circumstances. But, there are lines to be drawn and boundaries.</p><p></p><p>Copa, you have been through so much in the last few days. I am glad you and your son were able to speak with one another and you feel some peace of mind.</p><p></p><p> I wanted to clarify this, it is not that you were being abusive by giving your son terms, but that he was able to tell you the truth of how he feels about it.</p><p></p><p>So many times my two have said what they know I want to hear.</p><p>Abracadabra.</p><p></p><p>It is a pivot point, I believe, when our d cs can say, "This is who I am." Then, they have to look at it and think, "IS this who I am?"</p><p></p><p>I am babbling, sorry.</p><p></p><p>I hope your son will follow through with his word to get help.</p><p></p><p>Prayers going up.</p><p></p><p>From your post, I know whether he does, or doesn't you will be okay. I see you coming through this, stronger and stronger.</p><p></p><p>Sometimes, what we want the most, happens when we stop wanting it so desperately.</p><p></p><p>Do you think that when we are deep in it, that we take on the burden of it? In the sense that we carry the load and baggage of it all, so our d cs don't feel it themselves?</p><p></p><p>I wonder about that. I think intent, thoughts and feelings have power that reaches beyond our own selves.</p><p>We are so connected universally to each other, <em>especially our loved ones. </em></p><p></p><p>Have we carried the load of misery and desperation for our d cs, by sliding down with them?</p><p></p><p>As we lift ourselves up, will it help them to see a way out for themselves?</p><p></p><p>Is that what Viktor Frankl was teaching us, when he spoke of being idealists? Crabbing? Raising the bar, knowing that our d cs have it in them to reach their full potential? Having faith that they will?</p><p></p><p>If we can reach peace and joy, are we projecting that for our beloveds?</p><p></p><p>Much to ponder.</p><p></p><p>Off to work guys.</p><p></p><p>Have an awesome day Copa and everyone.</p><p></p><p>Breathe.</p><p></p><p>(((HUGS)))</p><p>Leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 723147, member: 19522"] I think “Hey, you’ve got to hide your love away” can be interpreted in many different ways, cultures and situations. Today, I look at it as “guard your heart”. "The heart is more treacherous than anything else and is desperate. Who can know it?" Thats from the Bible. Not that I am imposing religion on anyone, guys, I am not a church goer, but I do believe there is a higher power, whatever anyone wants to call it. And, yes, we were made to be spiritual beings. I think our hearts can desire something so badly, we can become a slave to it. Love. We love our d c's with all our heart, they don't do well, we slide down the rabbit hole with them [I]in our own way.[/I] Desperation. If we could just breathe. Not base our lives on expectations for others, our d cs included. So simple, and yet so difficult at the same time. We are all hugely imperfect. Keeping centered, mindfulness. Not being easily offended, not taking things personally. I think this is a good formula for walking through life. Everyone is imperfect, we say and do things we don't mean. I think once we find our footing with ourselves, stay grounded, we can achieve much. Maybe even peace and joy, despite what our beloveds are doing? Not doing? I don't think it is accepting abuse, I think it is a realistic view that people are people. That they are not necessarily attacking you, they are reacting to their own history and circumstances. But, there are lines to be drawn and boundaries. Copa, you have been through so much in the last few days. I am glad you and your son were able to speak with one another and you feel some peace of mind. I wanted to clarify this, it is not that you were being abusive by giving your son terms, but that he was able to tell you the truth of how he feels about it. So many times my two have said what they know I want to hear. Abracadabra. It is a pivot point, I believe, when our d cs can say, "This is who I am." Then, they have to look at it and think, "IS this who I am?" I am babbling, sorry. I hope your son will follow through with his word to get help. Prayers going up. From your post, I know whether he does, or doesn't you will be okay. I see you coming through this, stronger and stronger. Sometimes, what we want the most, happens when we stop wanting it so desperately. Do you think that when we are deep in it, that we take on the burden of it? In the sense that we carry the load and baggage of it all, so our d cs don't feel it themselves? I wonder about that. I think intent, thoughts and feelings have power that reaches beyond our own selves. We are so connected universally to each other, [I]especially our loved ones. [/I] Have we carried the load of misery and desperation for our d cs, by sliding down with them? As we lift ourselves up, will it help them to see a way out for themselves? Is that what Viktor Frankl was teaching us, when he spoke of being idealists? Crabbing? Raising the bar, knowing that our d cs have it in them to reach their full potential? Having faith that they will? If we can reach peace and joy, are we projecting that for our beloveds? Much to ponder. Off to work guys. Have an awesome day Copa and everyone. Breathe. (((HUGS))) Leafy [/QUOTE]
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