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Parent Emeritus
the blame game continues..........
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 642940" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Oh boy Tanya I recall all of those feelings and thoughts........I'm sorry your son has maligned you on FB, those tactics are so familiar around here. </p><p></p><p>My sense is that your son does not equate the Christian holiday with his nasty judgements of your faith. I think many of our difficult child's have a form of reality that works to keep them safely tucked inside their illusions, but does not really resemble any truth or logic or reality, it is skewered thinking. </p><p></p><p>So offering your observations of his skewered thinking will likely fall on deaf ears and a closed mind. And, if you have any expectation that your logic will impact him at all, I would say, that alone is reason to let it go, it will only cause disappointment for you. </p><p></p><p>However, sometimes saying what our truth is, is helpful to US, to sort of clear our own air of false debris floating around.......if that is your reasoning, then do it. Examine your motives, that would be the key I think. Also there may be a tiny element of you justifying to him why you didn't help him, which is certainly understandable, however, again, not something he will likely recognize in the manner you intend. </p><p></p><p>It's been suggested to me a few times not to engage with 'crazy'' people for I too then become 'crazy'. I think sometimes it's hard, it has been for me, to let go and permit their version of reality to exist out there, but really, I have no control over it...........and for me, letting it go has worked better.</p><p></p><p>Having said all of that, there is no right or wrong, only what you can live with. We grope around looking for some way to reach in and impact them and sometimes there just isn't a way in.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 642940, member: 13542"] Oh boy Tanya I recall all of those feelings and thoughts........I'm sorry your son has maligned you on FB, those tactics are so familiar around here. My sense is that your son does not equate the Christian holiday with his nasty judgements of your faith. I think many of our difficult child's have a form of reality that works to keep them safely tucked inside their illusions, but does not really resemble any truth or logic or reality, it is skewered thinking. So offering your observations of his skewered thinking will likely fall on deaf ears and a closed mind. And, if you have any expectation that your logic will impact him at all, I would say, that alone is reason to let it go, it will only cause disappointment for you. However, sometimes saying what our truth is, is helpful to US, to sort of clear our own air of false debris floating around.......if that is your reasoning, then do it. Examine your motives, that would be the key I think. Also there may be a tiny element of you justifying to him why you didn't help him, which is certainly understandable, however, again, not something he will likely recognize in the manner you intend. It's been suggested to me a few times not to engage with 'crazy'' people for I too then become 'crazy'. I think sometimes it's hard, it has been for me, to let go and permit their version of reality to exist out there, but really, I have no control over it...........and for me, letting it go has worked better. Having said all of that, there is no right or wrong, only what you can live with. We grope around looking for some way to reach in and impact them and sometimes there just isn't a way in. [/QUOTE]
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