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Parent Emeritus
The blue in his eyes are no longer
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<blockquote data-quote="LauraH" data-source="post: 744461" data-attributes="member: 22877"><p>My son has, as far as I know, been clean for the last few days after at least 7 days of using. I know some of the signs and behaviors of my son when he's using, as you seem to be able to tell with yours. I'm torn between thinking that they want to be home when they're high or coming down because they feel safe, or thinking they just don't care. And I'm also torn between your position of not wanting him in your home and your husband's of giving him a "safe place" to sober up. But I'm leaning toward your position because my son can do and say some hurtful things when he's on drugs and especially when he's on drugs and off his medications.Before our last blowout I had already told him he can't be here when he's using. (Just to clarify, he doesn't live with us, he's staying with a friend, but he's over here a lot).</p><p></p><p> I hope you and your husband can come up with a solution that you both agree on and one that gives you the security you should be able to feel in your own home. There are several reasons my son can't live with my husband and me, and his unpredictable drug use and behavior is only one of them. Come up with boundaries that work for you and your husband, give them to your son, in writing if necesssary, and then stick to them. Although I'll be the first to tell you that's easier said than done. Good luck, and I hope you can get some much needed rest!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="LauraH, post: 744461, member: 22877"] My son has, as far as I know, been clean for the last few days after at least 7 days of using. I know some of the signs and behaviors of my son when he's using, as you seem to be able to tell with yours. I'm torn between thinking that they want to be home when they're high or coming down because they feel safe, or thinking they just don't care. And I'm also torn between your position of not wanting him in your home and your husband's of giving him a "safe place" to sober up. But I'm leaning toward your position because my son can do and say some hurtful things when he's on drugs and especially when he's on drugs and off his medications.Before our last blowout I had already told him he can't be here when he's using. (Just to clarify, he doesn't live with us, he's staying with a friend, but he's over here a lot). I hope you and your husband can come up with a solution that you both agree on and one that gives you the security you should be able to feel in your own home. There are several reasons my son can't live with my husband and me, and his unpredictable drug use and behavior is only one of them. Come up with boundaries that work for you and your husband, give them to your son, in writing if necesssary, and then stick to them. Although I'll be the first to tell you that's easier said than done. Good luck, and I hope you can get some much needed rest! [/QUOTE]
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