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The chaos she creates
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 420770" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>the others have all had excellent things to say. I am sending hugs for your hurting mommy heart and a big bag of Won't Power. We all ahve more than enough will power - what we need is Won't Power, Know what I mean??</p><p> </p><p>You need to remind yourself that no matter what it is you give her - food, a ride instead of paying for a taxi, a shirt (even used), <em>anything</em> is just that much more money she has to spend on drugs and alcohol. Wasn't it your daughter who found her way home from another entire state?? think of ALL the things she brought home when she lived there, and start counting up all the money to get drunk and high each time you saw or spoke to her and she was drunk/stoned. How much does it cost to get high? I think on Intervention it said enough for one high (of whatever it was) was about $25 and that person was using at least 10 times a day. Heck, to get drunk has to cost at least $10 with the way prices are - probably more as I haven't looked at alcohol prices in a couple of years because I don't drink.</p><p> </p><p>So figure out what a night partying costs, at least an estimate. Then every time you say you won't give her a ride it is $10 at least that she canot use to get drugs or alcohol to kill herself. I seriously doubt she is going hungry. If she goes that long with-o eating it is because she is tweaking on meth, or so a friend who's daughter has been hooked on meth for over 17 yrs tells me. Food is too easy to come by. Heck, your daughter could stand with a sign asking for money for food and she owuld at the LEAST get people who stop and take a sandwich to her. by the way, I know some grad students who panhandled for a year as part of their master's thesis. They earned $45,000 by panhandling part time while they were in school the rest of the time. This happened in Austin in the early 90's. </p><p> </p><p>Cry when you need to, block her number from your office phone if needed, even tell your other child's school and your husband to call you on your office number during the day and turn your cell phone off while you are at work if it helps. Look at the paper where you figured out how much it cost her to get drunk/high and each time you refuse to give her $$, a ride, food or whatever and figure out how many joints, rocks of drugs, pills, beers or bottles of rotgut liquor you just saved her from. I know this was one of the things that really helped my mom and also helped my cousin and aunt when my cousin's wife went through addiction and rehab. </p><p> </p><p>Whatever happens, keep coming here and going to alanon and/or narcanon programs. It doesn't matter if difficult child won't go to AA/NA meetings - they will still help you navigate this heart-wrenching minefield called loving an addict.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 420770, member: 1233"] the others have all had excellent things to say. I am sending hugs for your hurting mommy heart and a big bag of Won't Power. We all ahve more than enough will power - what we need is Won't Power, Know what I mean?? You need to remind yourself that no matter what it is you give her - food, a ride instead of paying for a taxi, a shirt (even used), [I]anything[/I] is just that much more money she has to spend on drugs and alcohol. Wasn't it your daughter who found her way home from another entire state?? think of ALL the things she brought home when she lived there, and start counting up all the money to get drunk and high each time you saw or spoke to her and she was drunk/stoned. How much does it cost to get high? I think on Intervention it said enough for one high (of whatever it was) was about $25 and that person was using at least 10 times a day. Heck, to get drunk has to cost at least $10 with the way prices are - probably more as I haven't looked at alcohol prices in a couple of years because I don't drink. So figure out what a night partying costs, at least an estimate. Then every time you say you won't give her a ride it is $10 at least that she canot use to get drugs or alcohol to kill herself. I seriously doubt she is going hungry. If she goes that long with-o eating it is because she is tweaking on meth, or so a friend who's daughter has been hooked on meth for over 17 yrs tells me. Food is too easy to come by. Heck, your daughter could stand with a sign asking for money for food and she owuld at the LEAST get people who stop and take a sandwich to her. by the way, I know some grad students who panhandled for a year as part of their master's thesis. They earned $45,000 by panhandling part time while they were in school the rest of the time. This happened in Austin in the early 90's. Cry when you need to, block her number from your office phone if needed, even tell your other child's school and your husband to call you on your office number during the day and turn your cell phone off while you are at work if it helps. Look at the paper where you figured out how much it cost her to get drunk/high and each time you refuse to give her $$, a ride, food or whatever and figure out how many joints, rocks of drugs, pills, beers or bottles of rotgut liquor you just saved her from. I know this was one of the things that really helped my mom and also helped my cousin and aunt when my cousin's wife went through addiction and rehab. Whatever happens, keep coming here and going to alanon and/or narcanon programs. It doesn't matter if difficult child won't go to AA/NA meetings - they will still help you navigate this heart-wrenching minefield called loving an addict. [/QUOTE]
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