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The Denial is Just Shocking
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 287275" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I am so sorry that you have had to realize that your husband is possibly as ill as your son. Denial is very powerful. I do NOT think it quite covers your husband's reactions. in my opinion he has gone WAY past that river in Egypt and is fully into delusional behavior. I fail to see how anyone could see the level of disturbance as profound as it is and think that someone is setting him up. One or three or even five times, maybe. But that many times on a single day? Nope. Not buying denial. But I don't have to.</p><p></p><p>You don't trust husband. You are not SAFE on a basic physical level in that house with that boy. Neither are your children. Your stepdau is NEVER going to be safe. NOTHING you can do will speed up her safety any more than you have already done. The sooner husband realizes he is delusional the sooner they ALL get help. She will probably have to find her own safety because as long as she is in the house with difficult child she won't EVER be safe. Not even if difficult child had two guards focused on him every second of every day. </p><p></p><p>I know you want to save her. I know that agony. Her father is determined to sacrifice her on the altar of her brother's mental illness and his own mental illness. You are not her mother and are powerless. If you get out NOW then husband MIGHT let her keep a relationship with you. IF you stay then you are sacrificing YOUR children on that same altar to mental illness, as well as placing yourself there.</p><p></p><p>I hope you can trust yourself enough to trust that what you know is real IS real. Trust yourself enough to know that even low income housing is better than a life where you and your sons are pawns in your husband's twisted game of life with his twisted, sick son.</p><p></p><p>Your husband will ONLY face reality if he has NO other options. Even that may not be enough. I pray it will be enough, because otherwise there is no hope for difficult child or stepdau. </p><p></p><p>Do what you need to and save your children. Now that you know the level of the sickness in the home, make a plan. Do NOT let on about it to ANYONE. Research to see if you are in a community property state. Find out what your legal rights are. Then get a shark of a lawyer and enforce them. YOU have been a victim of your husband and his son, just as much or more than anyone else in the house (I say more because with the disability I remember you have you may feel you have no options.).</p><p></p><p>Know that we are here for you, no matter what. </p><p></p><p>Sending hugs and prayers,</p><p></p><p>Susie</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 287275, member: 1233"] I am so sorry that you have had to realize that your husband is possibly as ill as your son. Denial is very powerful. I do NOT think it quite covers your husband's reactions. in my opinion he has gone WAY past that river in Egypt and is fully into delusional behavior. I fail to see how anyone could see the level of disturbance as profound as it is and think that someone is setting him up. One or three or even five times, maybe. But that many times on a single day? Nope. Not buying denial. But I don't have to. You don't trust husband. You are not SAFE on a basic physical level in that house with that boy. Neither are your children. Your stepdau is NEVER going to be safe. NOTHING you can do will speed up her safety any more than you have already done. The sooner husband realizes he is delusional the sooner they ALL get help. She will probably have to find her own safety because as long as she is in the house with difficult child she won't EVER be safe. Not even if difficult child had two guards focused on him every second of every day. I know you want to save her. I know that agony. Her father is determined to sacrifice her on the altar of her brother's mental illness and his own mental illness. You are not her mother and are powerless. If you get out NOW then husband MIGHT let her keep a relationship with you. IF you stay then you are sacrificing YOUR children on that same altar to mental illness, as well as placing yourself there. I hope you can trust yourself enough to trust that what you know is real IS real. Trust yourself enough to know that even low income housing is better than a life where you and your sons are pawns in your husband's twisted game of life with his twisted, sick son. Your husband will ONLY face reality if he has NO other options. Even that may not be enough. I pray it will be enough, because otherwise there is no hope for difficult child or stepdau. Do what you need to and save your children. Now that you know the level of the sickness in the home, make a plan. Do NOT let on about it to ANYONE. Research to see if you are in a community property state. Find out what your legal rights are. Then get a shark of a lawyer and enforce them. YOU have been a victim of your husband and his son, just as much or more than anyone else in the house (I say more because with the disability I remember you have you may feel you have no options.). Know that we are here for you, no matter what. Sending hugs and prayers, Susie [/QUOTE]
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