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The Denial is Just Shocking
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<blockquote data-quote="WSM" data-source="post: 287534" data-attributes="member: 5169"><p>Thank you for all your time. You have all given me a lot of time and thought and I deeply appreciate.</p><p> </p><p>First to clear up a couple facts: I am not disabled. I make about $12K more than my husband,and next March will be getting a $7K raise. I work for the Fed govt and my job is secure and upwardly mobile. Next year I will also have transfer possibilities, where they will buy my house if I can't sell it. I will come out with debt, but manageable, my husband will come out financially devastated. He will have to declare bankruptcy. My kids are older. Two are going to college. I have an offer on a condo in a college town 3 hours away for them to live. My minor son is 15 and will be going to a special high school for kids who want to specialize in medicine as a career. I have a lawyer on standby, a very good one. I also do not mind living on my own. I did it before I married my first husband and was fine. I was a single mom for 7 years and enjoyed it. It's okay to be single.</p><p> </p><p>About all the people who are saying it might not be difficult child: yes, in these three instances, I have only husband's report that the therapist, psychiatrist, and police said difficult child might not be responsible for all the incidents. And yes, I verified with the therapist and caught husband in a lie. husband has lied about who said what in several situations and not just with his son, but also about other people. I think husband thinks he's just playing peacemaker and keeping people from being mad at each other, and sometimes I think he lies because he feels it demonstrates the 'spirit' of the situation, if not actual facts.</p><p> </p><p>It's a problem in our marriage and it's lying, pure and simple, it's gaslighting, and husband has lost a lot of trust because of it. He comes froma a lying family....my god, you should see his mother. It alone is a marital issue that can ruin the marriage with or without any of difficult child's issues.</p><p> </p><p>However...that being said... the phenonmenon of people thinking difficult child just 'can't' be doing it is one I have personally seen. Over and over and over, I've had to pick my jaw up off the floor because some teacher, principal, social worker, has said, in complete contradiction to evidence sitting right in front of him/her, that difficult child couldn't have done it. This phenonmenon is incredible, I've seen it myself, and I don't understand it at all. About half of all people who deal with difficult child flat out deny there's much wrong with him. </p><p> </p><p>People who have had experience with psychopaths know fairly quickly what difficult child is. *I* believe difficult child is a psychopath. husband has not ruled it out, he just wants a lot more evidence. Well...the kid is 12, that's fair enough. I think difficult child also is going to have a form of schizophrenia, probably paranoid schizophrenia. A lot of his accusations have a hint of paranoia in them, and this week difficult child requested that we put an alarm on the INSIDE of his door as well as the outside, so no one can sneak in and do things or steal things. He wants it on during the day, I asked him why, since he's awake, and he got that inward looking, forget where he is look on his face that I think is caused my mental illness, he says he just want it. (this look is different from the psychopathic black eye, skin crawling, filled with hatred and calm rage that I've also seen on his face)</p><p> </p><p>I think it's 75% possible that psychiatrist did say that it can't possibly all be difficult child, simply because in my experience if you get 3 people, one of them will be convinced of it against all evidence. The police I think are uncertain about what the problem is and know not much will be done about it in any case, so they let it pass. The fact remains if they thought difficult child was dealing drugs at the community center summer camp, in the same building as the mayor and the city council, they would have arrested him. They have arrested him before. Whatever husband report they said or didn't say, the fact is, the police did not arrest difficult child even though they found stimulants on him. So maybe husband slanted his version of the event, colored it, the fact is the police did not arrest difficult child and did not investigate further. </p><p> </p><p>The psychiatrist might have said it because she's only seen difficult child 20 minutes 4 or 5 times and most of those 20 minutes would be taken up with discussion of drugs. She's spent maybe an hour and 15 minutes total discussing his activities and feelings with him and/or husband. That's not even long enough to list all the stuff, and if you do, it sounds crazy: knives and stabbing, hidding shoes and uniforms, getting himself kidnapped, cowering in his desk computer cubby, ripping out the ceiling fan, syrup all over the room, hiding 13 hours in the shed, peeing in baggies, not violent, not eating in front of people, doing well away from home, stealing from classmates, presenting well to doctors, drawing a picture of killing his sister... </p><p> </p><p>It's all over the map on dysfunction and doesn't make sense except from the perspective that he is both schizophrenic and psychopathic and some of the incidents like hiding in the shed and squeezing in the computer cubby and peeing in baggies, and hiding his shoes, and cleaning the pool for 8 hours comes from the schizophrenic part and the knives, and stealing, and putting electronics in the pool, and allegations of abuse come from the psychopathic part.</p><p> </p><p>And it's almost impossible for most professionals to diagnosis a 12 year old with either schizophrenia or psychopathy. They are both horrifying horrible dxs, and last resort dxs. And difficult child is only very mildly schizophrenic, in the very early stages. And it's unprofessional to diagnosis pyschopathy in 12 year olds. TWELVE. Too young. And yet... those who have a lot of familiarity with psychopaths know. But even if they know, what can be done? There's nothing to be done about 12 year old psychopaths who aren't an overt and immediate threat to others or themselves.</p><p> </p><p>I think the therapist knows. He uses the term, very very disturbed. Not very very sick but very very disturbed. And he dropped the idea of behavior modification. But what can he do? If husband won't put difficult child into a Residential Treatment Center (RTC), what can therapist do? He's just going to do private therapy with difficult child regarding his mother (or so he says). </p><p> </p><p>But psychiatrist I think sees this nice kid with this long list of crazy quilt serious allegations against him and doesn't buy it, like so many don't buy it. Then she hears he has an absent crazy mother, a fed up stepmother (true), an overwhelmed father, and three teenaged stepbrothers and does like so many---assume it's not difficult child. Especially since difficult child is a master at projecting innocence, and will 'manfully' confess to things he's been caught redhanded doing. (see, he's honest, must have a conscience to confess...ummm...like he had any choice).</p><p> </p><p>So I think it's very likely psychiatrist said that. However, I don't think it's 100% sure because psychiatrist's recommendation matches very conveniently with another family agenda husband has--to reunite the kids with his mother. She has been more or less estranged from our family since she hit me in the face 4 years ago, we are waiting for an apology. She whines she just wants to be a graaaaaandmother, and doesn't know why she's being punished since I 'shoved' her and besides whatever she did, she's been punished enough and it's time to move on.</p><p> </p><p>I don't know that husband cares deeply about what she wants except that he and his brother were very close, best friends, and mother in law has coopted Brother's wife. Brother's wife thinks husband is terrible for the way husband treats his mother and (I promise I am not making this up) Brother's wife won't let Brother have a relationship husband until husband treats mother in law the way sister in law approves of. Did I tell you husband comes from a highly dysfunctional family? Brother and husband are in their forties, but sister in law who's only been married 5 years longer than I've been married to husband gets to tell them who they can play with. </p><p> </p><p>husband is desperate to make peace with his family and when psychiatrist said someone is setting difficult child up and husband should get him out of the house but not to an Residential Treatment Center (RTC), perhaps a family member, I thought...aha! Sure. There's a lie. Righto. How convenient. Your family of origin are brutally pressuring you to send the kids to mother in law and suddenly the psychiatrist says you should do it too, and also says an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) is no good. My, my, my, what a coincidence.</p><p> </p><p>But I don't believe it anymore, because husband at first said "I'm going to do it. difficult child's going to mom's. I don't care what you say. You have no say. The psychiatrist says difficult child is better off going there."</p><p> </p><p>And I said, "I think it's a bad idea. Your family cannot possibly help difficult child." husband is never happy when I point out how inadequate and dysfunctional his family is. And he kept arguing, reviling me, and stating he was going to do it no matter what I thought. I refused to argue, explained myself only once, and then just said, "I think it's a bad idea, I think it's a bad idea." </p><p> </p><p>And yesterday which was d-day for sending him, husband took my advice. He mumbled, "I think it's best he goes, but I'm going to take your advice. Against what the psychiatrist says, I'm going to do it your way. And he's not going." </p><p> </p><p>And difficult child is home still. So now I think maybe psychiatrist did say it. And I'm shocked that husband took my advice, he could have repaired the damage with his family and gotten several weeks of respite and a huge day care cost savings all by sending difficult child to mother in law, but he didn't. He says it's because he trusts my judgment. </p><p> </p><p>Someone asked if husband tries to keep me away from therapist and psychiatrist visits. No, he invites me and has scheduled therapist visits for my convenience and has never criticized anything I've said. In fact, when I challenged him about the psychiatrist's comments, he challenged me to come and question her myself. </p><p> </p><p>I understand not wanting to believe. As a bio-parent he needs a higher level of proof than me. It may not be fair, but in a certain catagory of problem, I just assume it's difficult child. For it not to be difficult child, he has to be proved innocent. For husband he needs the proof, near absolute proof. We almost never have absolute proof. And lots of time we have 60-80% proof. And occasionally, we have 30% proof. Here's an example.</p><p> </p><p>husband and difficult child went away for the day. When they came back husband put the backpack on the table and put difficult child in his room. I saw. difficult child didn't come out downstairs until afternoon the next day. He used the upstairs bathroom, etc... But by then, difficult child's brand new bathing suit, one croc, and sunglasses were missing from the backpack. I'll be the first to tell you, I'm sure difficult child didn't go near it from the time it was set there to the time the stuff was found missing. </p><p> </p><p>I assume it's difficult child even though I have no idea how he did it. That's a category of michief he does, and he specializes in just disappearing one shoe. husband thinks difficult child has to be ruled out. He's sure he packed it. All the rest of us had an opportunity to do it too. It seems like difficult child is the only one with an alibi. So husband didn't believe. I could understand.</p><p> </p><p>Then later the same day, I get difficult child for dinner and notice one of the two alarms set to guard his window has the battery separated from it. I wrote once about how husband and I set up those alarms to make one go off if the other is approached and both are aimed towards the window so he can't go in or out at night.</p><p> </p><p>It's a 8v battery and the back of the alarm had fallen off and the battery was lying on the desk top. I'd noticed it a day or two ago, but the alarm was still working. Now that alarm was separated from the battery which was lying next to it just barely not touching the connectors. </p><p> </p><p>difficult child said it must have just fallen off. Maybe. husband thought it plausible. How could difficult child pull the battery off without setting off either alarm. I demonstrated how he might have crept up from behind against the desk, put his hand on top to steady it, and pinched off the battery.</p><p> </p><p>But how did he turn off the other alarm, he can't get out without turning off the other alarm. How did he do that, it's upside down resting on it's button.</p><p> </p><p>Honestly, I have no idea how he did it. But to me it doesn't matter. Somehow he did. A couple weeks ago the alarms kept going off one afternoon. difficult child said he moved his elbow or the curtain fluttered from the ac vent. I think he was practicing that day how to do it, and inadvertently set if off a couple times. I don't know how he did it, but he figured it out. I think he will keep doing it and we eventually will figure out how he did it. For a suspicious stepparent, this is enough evidence for me.</p><p> </p><p>But for an anxious bioparent, this went from being impossible to being unlikely. husband said he woke up every couple hours last night worrying about it, "I don't see how he could have done it, the second alarm was upside down, etc...." and "Maybe it was daughter; difficult child has taken so much of her stuff and she was alone downstairs early morning and had the opportunity and does mess around in other people's things, etc..."</p><p> </p><p>There's legitimate room for doubt.</p><p> </p><p>husband goes two steps forward, one step back, and then when I think there's progress he goes 5 steps backwards. </p><p> </p><p>Here's an example:</p><p> </p><p>I keep a log. I've shared it here. What happened each week. One week, I forgot to put a knife incident down on the log. husband thought it might be a plant because it was not well hidden as the other knives have been, and easily found. He thought both someone else might have done it hurriedly, and also thought, maybe difficult child used it as a decoy: we'd find that knife and then leave, while the other knives were left in the room. That's a possibility I'd never thought of and give husband points for thinking it up. Step forward. husband searched the room (step forward) and found no other knives. And then he said he just didn't believe that THIS knife incident was difficult child's fault. That THIS one was one of those he thought might be a plant. Step back.</p><p> </p><p>In any case, I forgot to put it on the log. And then he reminded me to. Step forward.</p><p> </p><p>Mixed messages. Mixed feelings. Tangled suspicions. Confusion. </p><p> </p><p>But then yesterday, husband told me why he didn't want to put difficult child in the Residential Treatment Center (RTC). It was because the psychiatrist said it wouldn't help. And the therapist even said it wouldn't help (therapist said he couldn't guarantee it would help, it might not). therapist said much more about how 'we' needed the break from difficult child (true). And husband believes therapist is exaggerating how disturbed difficult child is. He laid out a ration, very convincing set of reasons not to. It didn't convince me, I knew it was denial, but it would have convinced almost anyone else. And at the end he said in conclusion: "So I don't think that's the right place for him." (three steps back), Pause, then husband said, "Yet." (one step forward).</p><p> </p><p>Sigh...</p><p> </p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/felttip/whiteflag.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":whiteflag:" title="whiteflag :whiteflag:" data-shortname=":whiteflag:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="WSM, post: 287534, member: 5169"] Thank you for all your time. You have all given me a lot of time and thought and I deeply appreciate. First to clear up a couple facts: I am not disabled. I make about $12K more than my husband,and next March will be getting a $7K raise. I work for the Fed govt and my job is secure and upwardly mobile. Next year I will also have transfer possibilities, where they will buy my house if I can't sell it. I will come out with debt, but manageable, my husband will come out financially devastated. He will have to declare bankruptcy. My kids are older. Two are going to college. I have an offer on a condo in a college town 3 hours away for them to live. My minor son is 15 and will be going to a special high school for kids who want to specialize in medicine as a career. I have a lawyer on standby, a very good one. I also do not mind living on my own. I did it before I married my first husband and was fine. I was a single mom for 7 years and enjoyed it. It's okay to be single. About all the people who are saying it might not be difficult child: yes, in these three instances, I have only husband's report that the therapist, psychiatrist, and police said difficult child might not be responsible for all the incidents. And yes, I verified with the therapist and caught husband in a lie. husband has lied about who said what in several situations and not just with his son, but also about other people. I think husband thinks he's just playing peacemaker and keeping people from being mad at each other, and sometimes I think he lies because he feels it demonstrates the 'spirit' of the situation, if not actual facts. It's a problem in our marriage and it's lying, pure and simple, it's gaslighting, and husband has lost a lot of trust because of it. He comes froma a lying family....my god, you should see his mother. It alone is a marital issue that can ruin the marriage with or without any of difficult child's issues. However...that being said... the phenonmenon of people thinking difficult child just 'can't' be doing it is one I have personally seen. Over and over and over, I've had to pick my jaw up off the floor because some teacher, principal, social worker, has said, in complete contradiction to evidence sitting right in front of him/her, that difficult child couldn't have done it. This phenonmenon is incredible, I've seen it myself, and I don't understand it at all. About half of all people who deal with difficult child flat out deny there's much wrong with him. People who have had experience with psychopaths know fairly quickly what difficult child is. *I* believe difficult child is a psychopath. husband has not ruled it out, he just wants a lot more evidence. Well...the kid is 12, that's fair enough. I think difficult child also is going to have a form of schizophrenia, probably paranoid schizophrenia. A lot of his accusations have a hint of paranoia in them, and this week difficult child requested that we put an alarm on the INSIDE of his door as well as the outside, so no one can sneak in and do things or steal things. He wants it on during the day, I asked him why, since he's awake, and he got that inward looking, forget where he is look on his face that I think is caused my mental illness, he says he just want it. (this look is different from the psychopathic black eye, skin crawling, filled with hatred and calm rage that I've also seen on his face) I think it's 75% possible that psychiatrist did say that it can't possibly all be difficult child, simply because in my experience if you get 3 people, one of them will be convinced of it against all evidence. The police I think are uncertain about what the problem is and know not much will be done about it in any case, so they let it pass. The fact remains if they thought difficult child was dealing drugs at the community center summer camp, in the same building as the mayor and the city council, they would have arrested him. They have arrested him before. Whatever husband report they said or didn't say, the fact is, the police did not arrest difficult child even though they found stimulants on him. So maybe husband slanted his version of the event, colored it, the fact is the police did not arrest difficult child and did not investigate further. The psychiatrist might have said it because she's only seen difficult child 20 minutes 4 or 5 times and most of those 20 minutes would be taken up with discussion of drugs. She's spent maybe an hour and 15 minutes total discussing his activities and feelings with him and/or husband. That's not even long enough to list all the stuff, and if you do, it sounds crazy: knives and stabbing, hidding shoes and uniforms, getting himself kidnapped, cowering in his desk computer cubby, ripping out the ceiling fan, syrup all over the room, hiding 13 hours in the shed, peeing in baggies, not violent, not eating in front of people, doing well away from home, stealing from classmates, presenting well to doctors, drawing a picture of killing his sister... It's all over the map on dysfunction and doesn't make sense except from the perspective that he is both schizophrenic and psychopathic and some of the incidents like hiding in the shed and squeezing in the computer cubby and peeing in baggies, and hiding his shoes, and cleaning the pool for 8 hours comes from the schizophrenic part and the knives, and stealing, and putting electronics in the pool, and allegations of abuse come from the psychopathic part. And it's almost impossible for most professionals to diagnosis a 12 year old with either schizophrenia or psychopathy. They are both horrifying horrible dxs, and last resort dxs. And difficult child is only very mildly schizophrenic, in the very early stages. And it's unprofessional to diagnosis pyschopathy in 12 year olds. TWELVE. Too young. And yet... those who have a lot of familiarity with psychopaths know. But even if they know, what can be done? There's nothing to be done about 12 year old psychopaths who aren't an overt and immediate threat to others or themselves. I think the therapist knows. He uses the term, very very disturbed. Not very very sick but very very disturbed. And he dropped the idea of behavior modification. But what can he do? If husband won't put difficult child into a Residential Treatment Center (RTC), what can therapist do? He's just going to do private therapy with difficult child regarding his mother (or so he says). But psychiatrist I think sees this nice kid with this long list of crazy quilt serious allegations against him and doesn't buy it, like so many don't buy it. Then she hears he has an absent crazy mother, a fed up stepmother (true), an overwhelmed father, and three teenaged stepbrothers and does like so many---assume it's not difficult child. Especially since difficult child is a master at projecting innocence, and will 'manfully' confess to things he's been caught redhanded doing. (see, he's honest, must have a conscience to confess...ummm...like he had any choice). So I think it's very likely psychiatrist said that. However, I don't think it's 100% sure because psychiatrist's recommendation matches very conveniently with another family agenda husband has--to reunite the kids with his mother. She has been more or less estranged from our family since she hit me in the face 4 years ago, we are waiting for an apology. She whines she just wants to be a graaaaaandmother, and doesn't know why she's being punished since I 'shoved' her and besides whatever she did, she's been punished enough and it's time to move on. I don't know that husband cares deeply about what she wants except that he and his brother were very close, best friends, and mother in law has coopted Brother's wife. Brother's wife thinks husband is terrible for the way husband treats his mother and (I promise I am not making this up) Brother's wife won't let Brother have a relationship husband until husband treats mother in law the way sister in law approves of. Did I tell you husband comes from a highly dysfunctional family? Brother and husband are in their forties, but sister in law who's only been married 5 years longer than I've been married to husband gets to tell them who they can play with. husband is desperate to make peace with his family and when psychiatrist said someone is setting difficult child up and husband should get him out of the house but not to an Residential Treatment Center (RTC), perhaps a family member, I thought...aha! Sure. There's a lie. Righto. How convenient. Your family of origin are brutally pressuring you to send the kids to mother in law and suddenly the psychiatrist says you should do it too, and also says an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) is no good. My, my, my, what a coincidence. But I don't believe it anymore, because husband at first said "I'm going to do it. difficult child's going to mom's. I don't care what you say. You have no say. The psychiatrist says difficult child is better off going there." And I said, "I think it's a bad idea. Your family cannot possibly help difficult child." husband is never happy when I point out how inadequate and dysfunctional his family is. And he kept arguing, reviling me, and stating he was going to do it no matter what I thought. I refused to argue, explained myself only once, and then just said, "I think it's a bad idea, I think it's a bad idea." And yesterday which was d-day for sending him, husband took my advice. He mumbled, "I think it's best he goes, but I'm going to take your advice. Against what the psychiatrist says, I'm going to do it your way. And he's not going." And difficult child is home still. So now I think maybe psychiatrist did say it. And I'm shocked that husband took my advice, he could have repaired the damage with his family and gotten several weeks of respite and a huge day care cost savings all by sending difficult child to mother in law, but he didn't. He says it's because he trusts my judgment. Someone asked if husband tries to keep me away from therapist and psychiatrist visits. No, he invites me and has scheduled therapist visits for my convenience and has never criticized anything I've said. In fact, when I challenged him about the psychiatrist's comments, he challenged me to come and question her myself. I understand not wanting to believe. As a bio-parent he needs a higher level of proof than me. It may not be fair, but in a certain catagory of problem, I just assume it's difficult child. For it not to be difficult child, he has to be proved innocent. For husband he needs the proof, near absolute proof. We almost never have absolute proof. And lots of time we have 60-80% proof. And occasionally, we have 30% proof. Here's an example. husband and difficult child went away for the day. When they came back husband put the backpack on the table and put difficult child in his room. I saw. difficult child didn't come out downstairs until afternoon the next day. He used the upstairs bathroom, etc... But by then, difficult child's brand new bathing suit, one croc, and sunglasses were missing from the backpack. I'll be the first to tell you, I'm sure difficult child didn't go near it from the time it was set there to the time the stuff was found missing. I assume it's difficult child even though I have no idea how he did it. That's a category of michief he does, and he specializes in just disappearing one shoe. husband thinks difficult child has to be ruled out. He's sure he packed it. All the rest of us had an opportunity to do it too. It seems like difficult child is the only one with an alibi. So husband didn't believe. I could understand. Then later the same day, I get difficult child for dinner and notice one of the two alarms set to guard his window has the battery separated from it. I wrote once about how husband and I set up those alarms to make one go off if the other is approached and both are aimed towards the window so he can't go in or out at night. It's a 8v battery and the back of the alarm had fallen off and the battery was lying on the desk top. I'd noticed it a day or two ago, but the alarm was still working. Now that alarm was separated from the battery which was lying next to it just barely not touching the connectors. difficult child said it must have just fallen off. Maybe. husband thought it plausible. How could difficult child pull the battery off without setting off either alarm. I demonstrated how he might have crept up from behind against the desk, put his hand on top to steady it, and pinched off the battery. But how did he turn off the other alarm, he can't get out without turning off the other alarm. How did he do that, it's upside down resting on it's button. Honestly, I have no idea how he did it. But to me it doesn't matter. Somehow he did. A couple weeks ago the alarms kept going off one afternoon. difficult child said he moved his elbow or the curtain fluttered from the ac vent. I think he was practicing that day how to do it, and inadvertently set if off a couple times. I don't know how he did it, but he figured it out. I think he will keep doing it and we eventually will figure out how he did it. For a suspicious stepparent, this is enough evidence for me. But for an anxious bioparent, this went from being impossible to being unlikely. husband said he woke up every couple hours last night worrying about it, "I don't see how he could have done it, the second alarm was upside down, etc...." and "Maybe it was daughter; difficult child has taken so much of her stuff and she was alone downstairs early morning and had the opportunity and does mess around in other people's things, etc..." There's legitimate room for doubt. husband goes two steps forward, one step back, and then when I think there's progress he goes 5 steps backwards. Here's an example: I keep a log. I've shared it here. What happened each week. One week, I forgot to put a knife incident down on the log. husband thought it might be a plant because it was not well hidden as the other knives have been, and easily found. He thought both someone else might have done it hurriedly, and also thought, maybe difficult child used it as a decoy: we'd find that knife and then leave, while the other knives were left in the room. That's a possibility I'd never thought of and give husband points for thinking it up. Step forward. husband searched the room (step forward) and found no other knives. And then he said he just didn't believe that THIS knife incident was difficult child's fault. That THIS one was one of those he thought might be a plant. Step back. In any case, I forgot to put it on the log. And then he reminded me to. Step forward. Mixed messages. Mixed feelings. Tangled suspicions. Confusion. But then yesterday, husband told me why he didn't want to put difficult child in the Residential Treatment Center (RTC). It was because the psychiatrist said it wouldn't help. And the therapist even said it wouldn't help (therapist said he couldn't guarantee it would help, it might not). therapist said much more about how 'we' needed the break from difficult child (true). And husband believes therapist is exaggerating how disturbed difficult child is. He laid out a ration, very convincing set of reasons not to. It didn't convince me, I knew it was denial, but it would have convinced almost anyone else. And at the end he said in conclusion: "So I don't think that's the right place for him." (three steps back), Pause, then husband said, "Yet." (one step forward). Sigh... :whiteflag: [/QUOTE]
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