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The Denial is Just Shocking
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 287610" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Marg,</p><p>Great post, as always.</p><p>I am not telling her to leave the relationship because of the kid nor do I think she has to listen to me <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite8" alt=":D" title="Big Grin :D" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":D" />. My view is based strictly on husband. Although his lies are based on love, he is lying to himself and to h is wife and she has stated that the family lies--could be something that either of them can't or won't stop (hub and difficult child). Without trust and some sense of reality of what is going on, this woman is in danger--he could accuse her of abuse and get blamed by husband. He sure won't say the kid is lying. Also, I feel he is gaslighting her--either on purpose or not on purpose. Doesn't matter.</p><p></p><p>This is a crazy situation. I do think difficult child is playing games, but they are sick games with the goal being that he can get away with worse and worse behavior, including hurting his sister (and who knows if he's molested her or if that's on the horizon). This is not a healthy family and a bright, caring woman is being sucked into their disease. And husband is playing games along with his son. He doesn't even appreciate her. She seems to doubt her own sanity, when she is the sane one.</p><p></p><p>On the basis of all the craziness going on, plus her own kids, in my layman's marriage counseling opinion <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite8" alt=":D" title="Big Grin :D" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":D" />, I have to advise getting out. husband won't let her that stepdaughter with her for a short seperation. Sounds like he's a control freak who needs someone around to blame when son messes up. He doesn't seem half as concerned about his daughter. </p><p></p><p>Of course, WSM, you can do what you want...lol. We will still support you the best we can. But in my opinion the situation is crazy and getting crazier and you can't fix it. And you'll NEVER be able to really sort out reality from fantasy in that home. THAT is where I"m coming from.</p><p></p><p>I wish you all a wonderul Monday (Marg, in your cause Tuesday <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite8" alt=":D" title="Big Grin :D" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":D" />). Marg, you always say things in such a good way.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 287610, member: 1550"] Marg, Great post, as always. I am not telling her to leave the relationship because of the kid nor do I think she has to listen to me :happy:. My view is based strictly on husband. Although his lies are based on love, he is lying to himself and to h is wife and she has stated that the family lies--could be something that either of them can't or won't stop (hub and difficult child). Without trust and some sense of reality of what is going on, this woman is in danger--he could accuse her of abuse and get blamed by husband. He sure won't say the kid is lying. Also, I feel he is gaslighting her--either on purpose or not on purpose. Doesn't matter. This is a crazy situation. I do think difficult child is playing games, but they are sick games with the goal being that he can get away with worse and worse behavior, including hurting his sister (and who knows if he's molested her or if that's on the horizon). This is not a healthy family and a bright, caring woman is being sucked into their disease. And husband is playing games along with his son. He doesn't even appreciate her. She seems to doubt her own sanity, when she is the sane one. On the basis of all the craziness going on, plus her own kids, in my layman's marriage counseling opinion :happy:, I have to advise getting out. husband won't let her that stepdaughter with her for a short seperation. Sounds like he's a control freak who needs someone around to blame when son messes up. He doesn't seem half as concerned about his daughter. Of course, WSM, you can do what you want...lol. We will still support you the best we can. But in my opinion the situation is crazy and getting crazier and you can't fix it. And you'll NEVER be able to really sort out reality from fantasy in that home. THAT is where I"m coming from. I wish you all a wonderul Monday (Marg, in your cause Tuesday :happy:). Marg, you always say things in such a good way. [/QUOTE]
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