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The elephant in the room for all with abusive relatives
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 641605" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Nomad, thanks for sharing!!</p><p></p><p>My father was not normally actually physically abusive. He did shove that woman for no reason and blame her because HE misplaced his coat...typical of him. And he had the audacity to say, "Now she made me look bad."</p><p></p><p>My father is not unhappy with himself. He thinks he's great. He is the king and expects all of us to treat him that way and will use his money to get us to do that, until I dropped out of the game.</p><p></p><p>I am not cutting him off. I will gladly talk to him, but he can't yell at me or abuse me and I made that clear. Whether he will ever call me, because although he is allowed to set boundaries with us, we are not allowed to set boundaries with him, I do not know. But I'm serious about being fine talking to him as long as he does not yell at me. When he yells he YELLS.</p><p></p><p>This last incident started because he sent a holiday check to us to our old address and the people who live there now got the check and cashed it for themselves. Somehow it became our fault because we didn't go to the house and tell them a check was coming and to please call us when it came...haha. We thought it was being forwarded to us...we still have that service with the post office, but oh well. The incident has taken off and become his new reason for being furious. I don't know why. He's going to get his money back and it was $200, which is not a lot for him. He's mad that the police didn't throw the offender in jail, but he can't take it out on her so he is taking it out on me. That's how he rolls. That's when I finally decided that I don't want a penny from him anymore. He uses it to justify his behavior.</p><p></p><p>Whatever.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 641605, member: 1550"] Nomad, thanks for sharing!! My father was not normally actually physically abusive. He did shove that woman for no reason and blame her because HE misplaced his coat...typical of him. And he had the audacity to say, "Now she made me look bad." My father is not unhappy with himself. He thinks he's great. He is the king and expects all of us to treat him that way and will use his money to get us to do that, until I dropped out of the game. I am not cutting him off. I will gladly talk to him, but he can't yell at me or abuse me and I made that clear. Whether he will ever call me, because although he is allowed to set boundaries with us, we are not allowed to set boundaries with him, I do not know. But I'm serious about being fine talking to him as long as he does not yell at me. When he yells he YELLS. This last incident started because he sent a holiday check to us to our old address and the people who live there now got the check and cashed it for themselves. Somehow it became our fault because we didn't go to the house and tell them a check was coming and to please call us when it came...haha. We thought it was being forwarded to us...we still have that service with the post office, but oh well. The incident has taken off and become his new reason for being furious. I don't know why. He's going to get his money back and it was $200, which is not a lot for him. He's mad that the police didn't throw the offender in jail, but he can't take it out on her so he is taking it out on me. That's how he rolls. That's when I finally decided that I don't want a penny from him anymore. He uses it to justify his behavior. Whatever. [/QUOTE]
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The elephant in the room for all with abusive relatives
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