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Parent Emeritus
The first Christmas without difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="rejectedmom" data-source="post: 572350" data-attributes="member: 2315"><p>I totally understand. I think you did the right thing for yourself and your family. The pain of having to make that choice will fade as time goes on. It truly will. </p><p></p><p>I like my life without difficult child and all his antics and hysterics and the pain they bring on me and my family. I like not worrying about finding out about something terrible that he has done at my most vulnerable times. I like not worrying that he is going to show up at my door begging for money or help that he is just going to squander. Truth be told, I can find little good that came out of taking him under our roof and making him a part of our family. He has slandered us, stole from us, abused us both physically and verbally, broke bones, and brought all kinds of disgrace upon our family name. I dedicated 20 years of my life caring for him, fighting for his rights, finding help for him, searching out alternative schooling and interventions and spending tons of money in the process. Yet I have nothing nice to show for my effort. </p><p></p><p>I wish it were different. I wish we could be together and live a happy life but that isn't going to happen... His choice not mine. </p><p></p><p>I wish there were places and laws that would allow the adults with MI to live supervised lives away from their families. Places that were not jail yet were as secure as prison. Places where we could go and visit under supervision and safety. Unfortunateyl there are not and my son is in jail instead. None of this is my coice. </p><p></p><p>I chose to check out of his life. I did this because I couldn't be happy it. I seek peace. I need peace. We all do. Some of us find it in the extremes of all or nothing. Others find it in captured moments like yours this Christmas. May we all find it in the amouts we need. -RM</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="rejectedmom, post: 572350, member: 2315"] I totally understand. I think you did the right thing for yourself and your family. The pain of having to make that choice will fade as time goes on. It truly will. I like my life without difficult child and all his antics and hysterics and the pain they bring on me and my family. I like not worrying about finding out about something terrible that he has done at my most vulnerable times. I like not worrying that he is going to show up at my door begging for money or help that he is just going to squander. Truth be told, I can find little good that came out of taking him under our roof and making him a part of our family. He has slandered us, stole from us, abused us both physically and verbally, broke bones, and brought all kinds of disgrace upon our family name. I dedicated 20 years of my life caring for him, fighting for his rights, finding help for him, searching out alternative schooling and interventions and spending tons of money in the process. Yet I have nothing nice to show for my effort. I wish it were different. I wish we could be together and live a happy life but that isn't going to happen... His choice not mine. I wish there were places and laws that would allow the adults with MI to live supervised lives away from their families. Places that were not jail yet were as secure as prison. Places where we could go and visit under supervision and safety. Unfortunateyl there are not and my son is in jail instead. None of this is my coice. I chose to check out of his life. I did this because I couldn't be happy it. I seek peace. I need peace. We all do. Some of us find it in the extremes of all or nothing. Others find it in captured moments like yours this Christmas. May we all find it in the amouts we need. -RM [/QUOTE]
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