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The gods of irony
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 372880" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Isn't it amazing the way events unfold? This might turn out to be a really great year for all involved. easy child may get insight into how adult women with aspergers function and how very different aspergers can manifest itself in females. easy child is already very aware of aspergers and some of the things that go along with it. It will be a way for her to experience the world in a different way, and it may turn out that if she can handle the idiosyncrasies of C that she develops a real friendship with her. </p><p> </p><p>It may also be excellent for C's mom. I imagine that letting your Aspie daughter go to college and not live at home would be pretty scary for a mom. Esp when your child has fears of things like driving which could make it hard for her to get around. Knowing that her daughter has a roommate who knows what Aspergers is, let alone has a sibling with it, would be very reassuring. Chances are it will make it easier for the mom to stop mimicing a helicopter so much. You may even learn some things about what an aspie can and cannot expect in a dorm/college situation. You may also learn some ways to prepare difficult child for college (or how not to), and possible connect with another parent of a difficult child in real life, at least a couple of times this year. </p><p> </p><p>As for "outgrowing" an Learning Disability (LD), the mom may have used that in order to make the other girls not reject C right off the bat. I am SURE that a LOT of people would simply refuse to even speak with her if they thought she "still" had a problem like Aspergers, often because they don't have a clue what it is but they don't want it to "rub off" on them. Who knows how many roommates simply refused to consider her as a roommate, or did so after meeting her. It may be why mom made the first contact. </p><p> </p><p>If easy child can gently explain things if it seems C is really struggling because she isn't grasping the social rules, it would be a very nice thing to do. Chances are C will find a group of people interested in gaming or whatever she is into. A while back a character in a tv show said she was just trying to hold on through middle school because anyone who ever accomplished anything was unpopular until college and they they were "cool". The mom had told her that over and over to encourage the girl to be herself. The "cool" in college would happen because she would meet people interested in the same things she liked, rather than the shallow interests of the popular girls who were tormenting her. </p><p> </p><p>I think that really applies in this situation. I lived in a coed dorm back when most dorms were NOT, or were only coed by floor with locks on the female floors. My floor the first year was honors and I had a LOT of floormates who would be at least borderline Aspie and two who would be full aspie. We all found groups of people who were interested in what we were, no matter what those interests were. in my opinion it is highly likely that the same thing can happen with C.</p><p> </p><p>C may need some gentle pushing toward groups, and it certainly is not easy child's job to do that. But if C is becoming a problem with wanting easy child and S to do everything with her, they might benefit from suggesting a group or two that she might like and letting her know when and where they meet. If they are in a dorm they can ask the RA to do it if they like, or contact whatever dept handles disabilities and get someone there to help. </p><p> </p><p>I hope this turns out to be a good situation for all of the girls.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 372880, member: 1233"] Isn't it amazing the way events unfold? This might turn out to be a really great year for all involved. easy child may get insight into how adult women with aspergers function and how very different aspergers can manifest itself in females. easy child is already very aware of aspergers and some of the things that go along with it. It will be a way for her to experience the world in a different way, and it may turn out that if she can handle the idiosyncrasies of C that she develops a real friendship with her. It may also be excellent for C's mom. I imagine that letting your Aspie daughter go to college and not live at home would be pretty scary for a mom. Esp when your child has fears of things like driving which could make it hard for her to get around. Knowing that her daughter has a roommate who knows what Aspergers is, let alone has a sibling with it, would be very reassuring. Chances are it will make it easier for the mom to stop mimicing a helicopter so much. You may even learn some things about what an aspie can and cannot expect in a dorm/college situation. You may also learn some ways to prepare difficult child for college (or how not to), and possible connect with another parent of a difficult child in real life, at least a couple of times this year. As for "outgrowing" an Learning Disability (LD), the mom may have used that in order to make the other girls not reject C right off the bat. I am SURE that a LOT of people would simply refuse to even speak with her if they thought she "still" had a problem like Aspergers, often because they don't have a clue what it is but they don't want it to "rub off" on them. Who knows how many roommates simply refused to consider her as a roommate, or did so after meeting her. It may be why mom made the first contact. If easy child can gently explain things if it seems C is really struggling because she isn't grasping the social rules, it would be a very nice thing to do. Chances are C will find a group of people interested in gaming or whatever she is into. A while back a character in a tv show said she was just trying to hold on through middle school because anyone who ever accomplished anything was unpopular until college and they they were "cool". The mom had told her that over and over to encourage the girl to be herself. The "cool" in college would happen because she would meet people interested in the same things she liked, rather than the shallow interests of the popular girls who were tormenting her. I think that really applies in this situation. I lived in a coed dorm back when most dorms were NOT, or were only coed by floor with locks on the female floors. My floor the first year was honors and I had a LOT of floormates who would be at least borderline Aspie and two who would be full aspie. We all found groups of people who were interested in what we were, no matter what those interests were. in my opinion it is highly likely that the same thing can happen with C. C may need some gentle pushing toward groups, and it certainly is not easy child's job to do that. But if C is becoming a problem with wanting easy child and S to do everything with her, they might benefit from suggesting a group or two that she might like and letting her know when and where they meet. If they are in a dorm they can ask the RA to do it if they like, or contact whatever dept handles disabilities and get someone there to help. I hope this turns out to be a good situation for all of the girls. [/QUOTE]
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