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General Parenting
The Guidance meeting did not go well
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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 485042" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>Even with all the medical and therapeutic evidence I have to the contrary, I still go through this at times. Really, they are still kids afterall! They do get to have typical teen moments. But I tell myeslf (and of course I know our situations are different, so just sharing where I have to go) that I have to give him the benefit of the doubt. The alternative is that he will be in trouble and sad and upsest and anxiety ridden and all ability to even try to do normal things like school go out the window. I have been wrong a few times, and found out that it was that he was really sick or having seizures etc. I never go there first anymore. If in the end we find out differently, then we can deal with it.</p><p></p><p>And I personally was not dismissing your academic concerns. I was just thinking that at this point, it is NOT going to happen and additional stress may make it worse. It is hard to give up the typical schedule. But the truth is in life, we do get second chances for most things. It is NOT easy to give up the plan, the dream. And you are not giving it up. She is very young still. There are kids in way worse shape who pull it off. There are ways to make up the credts and increase the grades, but she has to be healthy to do it. And your family as a whole is her support for LIFE. She needs to maintain the relationships and not have harder situations than are already going on at home. (no blame, no criticism, I am talking about how she blows up etc. It naturally causes hurt feelings and longer term fallout). The same happens with many illnesses. I had a kid in therapy for how she says her "s" sounds. She was in 5th grade. Her brother had died suddenly when riding his bike the year before. She was like him, had cystic fibrosis. Bottom line, they quit therapy with my blessing. Really...she was fighting for her life... and to worry about how she said a sound was not the top priority. She only came because it bothered teachers and people were doing what you do for a typical child. Now an 's' sound is not the same as a full academic issue, but the point is the same... doesn't mean she wouldn't ever work on it, just that it was not the priority at that time. </p><p></p><p>I am sorry my post hit you hard at first. I really do want you to feel supported, whatever direction you go with this situation.... Just sharing a perspective. for now, she is a difficult child. I can only imagine it is much harder to have a child become a difficult child after being in easy child mode for so long.... compared to my life where it was all difficult child all the time. I am sorry for that. Must be very hard.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 485042, member: 12886"] Even with all the medical and therapeutic evidence I have to the contrary, I still go through this at times. Really, they are still kids afterall! They do get to have typical teen moments. But I tell myeslf (and of course I know our situations are different, so just sharing where I have to go) that I have to give him the benefit of the doubt. The alternative is that he will be in trouble and sad and upsest and anxiety ridden and all ability to even try to do normal things like school go out the window. I have been wrong a few times, and found out that it was that he was really sick or having seizures etc. I never go there first anymore. If in the end we find out differently, then we can deal with it. And I personally was not dismissing your academic concerns. I was just thinking that at this point, it is NOT going to happen and additional stress may make it worse. It is hard to give up the typical schedule. But the truth is in life, we do get second chances for most things. It is NOT easy to give up the plan, the dream. And you are not giving it up. She is very young still. There are kids in way worse shape who pull it off. There are ways to make up the credts and increase the grades, but she has to be healthy to do it. And your family as a whole is her support for LIFE. She needs to maintain the relationships and not have harder situations than are already going on at home. (no blame, no criticism, I am talking about how she blows up etc. It naturally causes hurt feelings and longer term fallout). The same happens with many illnesses. I had a kid in therapy for how she says her "s" sounds. She was in 5th grade. Her brother had died suddenly when riding his bike the year before. She was like him, had cystic fibrosis. Bottom line, they quit therapy with my blessing. Really...she was fighting for her life... and to worry about how she said a sound was not the top priority. She only came because it bothered teachers and people were doing what you do for a typical child. Now an 's' sound is not the same as a full academic issue, but the point is the same... doesn't mean she wouldn't ever work on it, just that it was not the priority at that time. I am sorry my post hit you hard at first. I really do want you to feel supported, whatever direction you go with this situation.... Just sharing a perspective. for now, she is a difficult child. I can only imagine it is much harder to have a child become a difficult child after being in easy child mode for so long.... compared to my life where it was all difficult child all the time. I am sorry for that. Must be very hard. [/QUOTE]
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