Littleboylost

Long road but the path ahead holds hope.
Hi to all of you!

I am sorry I do not post as often as I did. Active recovery is a busy time for all of us. I will try to give you a run down from the last post which was half way through rehab.

E continues to do amazingly well, no one is perfect he did have a release where he took someones medication. The behaviour was very serious and treated as a full on relapse. He engaged his relapse plan and was not out for one leave and the following leave was shortened to 24 hours instead of 72. He took a trazadone from a kid who obviously cheeked his medication; the though of swallowing something that was in some other persons mouth is so gross to me. he said he did this because he was having anxiety over the girlfriend....yes she is still kicking around. He has recently tried to break up with her and she declares she is going to kill herself and he ends up back with her....this is a serious risk to his sobriety. She has got to go.

He has a post rehab plan in place that includes consumption of alcohol and somewhere down the road perhaps pot ....no bong involved....this plans makes me very fearful, a thought which I have shared with him. Alcohol was never his demon, but pot took him right down the rabbit hole. There is a lot of teaching regarding harm reduction...not so sure I am a fan.

He went to a sporting competition with the rehab group and received a Gold Medal for soccer and an award for being the most therapeutic and supportive person of the week.

he has received 3 credits towards his high school diploma and has 3 more left. He went back to an academic level and received 80s and 90s....smart kid...wish he knew this. His self esteem is fragile. My PTSD is all over the place.

He will be home for one more 72 hour and then home for good, where did 6 months go? I hope to keep him busy and that he finds new friends and soon dumps the girl....cop mom is quiet...good! He picked up all his belongings from girlfriend and the wreak of pot was almost unbearable. He asked us to give her a ride...we did...not that I wanted to....she wreaked of pot so bad it was almost nauseating. What kind mother lives like this with her children....doesn't she stink like pot when she goes to work?? I had to wash all his clothing and a blanket three times and my laundry room stunk to high heaven of pot.

The rehab is very pleased with his progress and the way he managed his relapse. He attended some national sports games in Quebec and returned with a spirit award and a gold medal inSoccer. He will have post care and therapy in place for as long as he needs this.

Plans:

He plans to get a part time job and go to school to obtain his electrician certificate and then go on to complete a P Eng in electrical engineering. he has obtained 3 credits towards his high school diploma all at the academic level and all in the 80s and 90s. he has three credits left to get.

We plan to let him stay with us as long as he is clean and focuses on his academics and positive future. That said my PTSD is off the chain, I try not to think too far ahead....try try ....try. So many of the ones who have left the program have relapsed and gone full bore back into drug use.

We got a little puppy, he is a Boston Terrier; we have never had a puppy before, we have always adopted our pets. His name is Dexter, he is a sweet little thing and very cuddly for a puppy. E was always very good with animals....before the drugging. He has no siblings so this gives him some warm companionship on the home front.

We moved that was an adventure, our movers we had booked went bankrupt and took off with our deposit. We were fortunate that we had bridged and had 5 days before our town house closed. We got new movers on short notice and the move went off without at hitch.

We love the new home and are enjoying the pool before the weather turns on us.

I quit my job the 70 plus hour weeks were just not sustainable. I have been offered a new job and I start in September. I will have almost 2 glorious weeks in between to get things done around the new house and to get back into a fitness routine.

I am speaking at a conference in Sept in Chicago and we are looking forward to this hubs is coming with me.

E still has numerous outstanding charges to face, I will keep you all posted on the outcome of court no date set as of yet.

I am not on as often as I wish, and I do follow all of your posts. You were all a light in the storm and an anchor of hope through the most difficult of times, I tear up even writing this as I truly do not know what I would have done without all of you.
:group-hug::cool_dog:
Be well and know I think of you all so fondly.
 

pasajes4

Well-Known Member
I am happy that he is compliant for the most part. Bells go off where his plan to use weed and alcohol are concerned. The girlfriend is going to drag him down the rabbit hole if he does not dump her.
 

ForeverSpring

Well-Known Member
I am very happy he is doing well. I am alarmed that there is a plan for E to drink or use pot. Why that has to be part of the plan is stunning to me. Its not harm reduction....it is asking for trouble. We dont do that here and I think its best to focus on total sobriety. Can you ask them to revise the plan? Will E focus on sobriety? He is no longer acting in a harmful way. Why push it?

As for the girl, she is worse than the pot and obviously a huge pot fan. When one reaks of it, you know that they sit in the smoke all day. I hope your precious son dumps her. She is not a good influence for a nice young man struggling with sobriety.

In all, it sounds positive. Please be good to yourselves and keep us posted. E. is now everyone's concern. We all care.

Love and light!
 

Copabanana

Well-Known Member
Hi LBL

While I hope and believe he will not relapse, for you it will never go back to the way it was, and I will tell you why I believe that.

You now know that E. is in there. All of the sweetness. The kindness. The warmth. The responsiveness to others and the desire to help. The person who aspires and takes responsibility and is motivated to be more.

The drugs kidnapped this E and sequestered him. Now you know he still exists. He not only exists, he thrives.

This kind of reassurance is what I lack. My son has been on a downward spiral without end. I do not know if the person of 10 or even 8 years still exists, for him to resurrect. Or if the capacity to be a fully functional adult has ever been there. This is what you now have with E. It is the greatest gift and one you so richly earned and deserve. As does your husband.

Nothing and nobody can take this recovery away from E. Nor from you and his father. Not even relapse. Because a relapse even if it does occur, need only be a moment. He has shown that.

I would be scared about the alcohol and pot, too. But PTSD is really a good way to name this. We are traumatized. E does not have to be. To carry your trauma. He will be living in a world where he will have to deal. Some research seems to support that total abstinence (assumed by the AA disease model to be necessary) is not necessary for everybody to deal with addiction, contrary to the 12 step approach. But I would feel more comfortable with abstinence, too. But do we have a vote?

In any event it is what it is. Like you say. This uncertain world without control is our path to live. I am happy for you, for his Dad and most of all, for E. PS. That GIRL. I sure hope he loses her before he finishes the program.

Congratulations about the new house, new dog, and new job. You are amazing.
 
Last edited:

newstart

Well-Known Member
Hi to all of you!

I am sorry I do not post as often as I did. Active recovery is a busy time for all of us. I will try to give you a run down from the last post which was half way through rehab.

E continues to do amazingly well, no one is perfect he did have a release where he took someones medication. The behaviour was very serious and treated as a full on relapse. He engaged his relapse plan and was not out for one leave and the following leave was shortened to 24 hours instead of 72. He took a trazadone from a kid who obviously cheeked his medication; the though of swallowing something that was in some other persons mouth is so gross to me. he said he did this because he was having anxiety over the girlfriend....yes she is still kicking around. He has recently tried to break up with her and she declares she is going to kill herself and he ends up back with her....this is a serious risk to his sobriety. She has got to go.

He has a post rehab plan in place that includes consumption of alcohol and somewhere down the road perhaps pot ....no bong involved....this plans makes me very fearful, a thought which I have shared with him. Alcohol was never his demon, but pot took him right down the rabbit hole. There is a lot of teaching regarding harm reduction...not so sure I am a fan.

He went to a sporting competition with the rehab group and received a Gold Medal for soccer and an award for being the most therapeutic and supportive person of the week.

he has received 3 credits towards his high school diploma and has 3 more left. He went back to an academic level and received 80s and 90s....smart kid...wish he knew this. His self esteem is fragile. My PTSD is all over the place.

He will be home for one more 72 hour and then home for good, where did 6 months go? I hope to keep him busy and that he finds new friends and soon dumps the girl....cop mom is quiet...good! He picked up all his belongings from girlfriend and the wreak of pot was almost unbearable. He asked us to give her a ride...we did...not that I wanted to....she wreaked of pot so bad it was almost nauseating. What kind mother lives like this with her children....doesn't she stink like pot when she goes to work?? I had to wash all his clothing and a blanket three times and my laundry room stunk to high heaven of pot.

The rehab is very pleased with his progress and the way he managed his relapse. He attended some national sports games in Quebec and returned with a spirit award and a gold medal inSoccer. He will have post care and therapy in place for as long as he needs this.

Plans:

He plans to get a part time job and go to school to obtain his electrician certificate and then go on to complete a P Eng in electrical engineering. he has obtained 3 credits towards his high school diploma all at the academic level and all in the 80s and 90s. he has three credits left to get.

We plan to let him stay with us as long as he is clean and focuses on his academics and positive future. That said my PTSD is off the chain, I try not to think too far ahead....try try ....try. So many of the ones who have left the program have relapsed and gone full bore back into drug use.

We got a little puppy, he is a Boston Terrier; we have never had a puppy before, we have always adopted our pets. His name is Dexter, he is a sweet little thing and very cuddly for a puppy. E was always very good with animals....before the drugging. He has no siblings so this gives him some warm companionship on the home front.

We moved that was an adventure, our movers we had booked went bankrupt and took off with our deposit. We were fortunate that we had bridged and had 5 days before our town house closed. We got new movers on short notice and the move went off without at hitch.

We love the new home and are enjoying the pool before the weather turns on us.

I quit my job the 70 plus hour weeks were just not sustainable. I have been offered a new job and I start in September. I will have almost 2 glorious weeks in between to get things done around the new house and to get back into a fitness routine.

I am speaking at a conference in Sept in Chicago and we are looking forward to this hubs is coming with me.

E still has numerous outstanding charges to face, I will keep you all posted on the outcome of court no date set as of yet.

I am not on as often as I wish, and I do follow all of your posts. You were all a light in the storm and an anchor of hope through the most difficult of times, I tear up even writing this as I truly do not know what I would have done without all of you.
:cool_dog:
Be well and know I think of you all so fondly.
Littleboylost, I am grateful for your update as I think of you often and I pray that things go in a positive way. I have been too busy to post but I do keep up sometimes. Huge hug your way.
 

Littleboylost

Long road but the path ahead holds hope.
Thanks to all of you. I am up sleepless as the strain of my mother’s estate is still embroiled in dispute. That’s one for family of origin.
 

ForeverSpring

Well-Known Member
LBL, i am so sorry you have this family issue going on now on top of your son. Although this particular event didnt happen in my dysfunctional family, i know very well how stressful it is with a difficult family when you have no choice but to interact.

Try to quiet your mind and do the best you can to not predict the future. I have trouble doing this so for me to give this advice is ironic but if it can be mastered, would it not be priceless?

Love and light!
 

RN0441

100% better than I was but not at 100% yet
LBL

Try to take one day at a time. That is all we can do. I AM SO VERY HAPPY for you that you have again seen your real son. What an amazing gift. I also am enjoying that with J.

I pray for both of them that they are able to manage their addiction. They are so young and have so much of life to live!

Biggest hugs.
 
Top