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The Most Selfish Person I Know -- My Mother
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 197357" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Bunny </p><p> </p><p>Wow.....doesn't seem to matter what you've done it's never going to be good enough huh? And you know what? I'm dealing with someone who is going through the same exact thing right now. The person is her boss, and he's a flat out jerk. It hurts her so badly she takes it personally and how can she not when he compliments no one - and then puts her down repeatedly. So I'll tell you the same thing i told her. </p><p> </p><p>HE is never going to change. He is who he is. He's a jerk. He had a choice at one point to change himself and the way he treats others, and chose not to. At first you see people like this as stern or demanding the best out of everyone. So you try, and when you don't appear to stack up in their eyes - you try harder, and harder and eventually the trying harder becomes an obsession and you don't realize that you are getting more bitter by the minute about trying to please a person that CAN NO BE PLEASED. </p><p> </p><p>I told her - her efforts to do more, succeed higher and keep looking for some accolades were fruitless. So what can she do? </p><p> </p><p>I told her that she can start by realizing that she HAS done and will continue daily to do her best. The job you do each day in living your life has to matter to you first and NO ONE ELSE. When we make it matter to someone else - it's a compliment not a requirement. WE can live without compliments. We don't fare so well without our requirements. So tell yourself a few things today - 1.) You are a great person and friend 2.) You do the best job you can each and every day - and that includes finances 3.) You are a fantastic Mother to your daughter. Blood schmud - I'm closer to MY mother than anyone else in the world...so that blood thicker garbage is just that to me. You won't find another daughter as devoted to her Mother or vise versa....4.) Your Mother's OPINION is an unnecessary non-compliment....remember you can live without compliments. 5.) Your mother chose to be miserable and sotic and hard and uncaring.....it's HER life that is miserable - even with all her money - she's not happy - and what a pity for her that she's so well to do and yet hoards her wealth. Wealth of money, wealth of love of family, wealth of a phenominal (albeit difficult child) granddaughter. Because her deficits ie: lack of love, lack of sharing, lack of caring, lack of knowing you and your daughter....FAR outweigh her wealth......so in essence she's actually operating HER life in a FAR greater deficit than you are.....because while you may not have money right now.....you are far FAR wealthier than she is - </p><p> </p><p>You also have US......on the credit side of your balance book of life. </p><p> </p><p>There has to be someone else - who is willing to do a contract and loan you some cash. I know what it's like to be where you are and the stress doesn't always allow us to see the OTHER greath things around us that could help. </p><p> </p><p>How about a line of credit from the bank? </p><p>How about applying for a credit card? </p><p>How about (title loans are about 99.9% interest) but your car for cash? </p><p>How about one of your customers that HAVE money - asking for a loan.</p><p> </p><p>I'm trying to think and don't know your whole situation - </p><p> </p><p>I DO however know people like your Mother, and I'm more sorry for her than I am for you. And now maybe you know why. You will figure this out - SHE will never change. And to loose you as a daughter in the gamble? WOW - what a humongous loss. </p><p> </p><p>Hang in there my friend - I've been where you are, I know the fear - and now you have bunches of us saying prayers for you. </p><p> </p><p>Maybe a banker person here could figure out something for you.....to help.</p><p> </p><p>Hugs & Love (the real kind) </p><p> </p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 197357, member: 4964"] Bunny Wow.....doesn't seem to matter what you've done it's never going to be good enough huh? And you know what? I'm dealing with someone who is going through the same exact thing right now. The person is her boss, and he's a flat out jerk. It hurts her so badly she takes it personally and how can she not when he compliments no one - and then puts her down repeatedly. So I'll tell you the same thing i told her. HE is never going to change. He is who he is. He's a jerk. He had a choice at one point to change himself and the way he treats others, and chose not to. At first you see people like this as stern or demanding the best out of everyone. So you try, and when you don't appear to stack up in their eyes - you try harder, and harder and eventually the trying harder becomes an obsession and you don't realize that you are getting more bitter by the minute about trying to please a person that CAN NO BE PLEASED. I told her - her efforts to do more, succeed higher and keep looking for some accolades were fruitless. So what can she do? I told her that she can start by realizing that she HAS done and will continue daily to do her best. The job you do each day in living your life has to matter to you first and NO ONE ELSE. When we make it matter to someone else - it's a compliment not a requirement. WE can live without compliments. We don't fare so well without our requirements. So tell yourself a few things today - 1.) You are a great person and friend 2.) You do the best job you can each and every day - and that includes finances 3.) You are a fantastic Mother to your daughter. Blood schmud - I'm closer to MY mother than anyone else in the world...so that blood thicker garbage is just that to me. You won't find another daughter as devoted to her Mother or vise versa....4.) Your Mother's OPINION is an unnecessary non-compliment....remember you can live without compliments. 5.) Your mother chose to be miserable and sotic and hard and uncaring.....it's HER life that is miserable - even with all her money - she's not happy - and what a pity for her that she's so well to do and yet hoards her wealth. Wealth of money, wealth of love of family, wealth of a phenominal (albeit difficult child) granddaughter. Because her deficits ie: lack of love, lack of sharing, lack of caring, lack of knowing you and your daughter....FAR outweigh her wealth......so in essence she's actually operating HER life in a FAR greater deficit than you are.....because while you may not have money right now.....you are far FAR wealthier than she is - You also have US......on the credit side of your balance book of life. There has to be someone else - who is willing to do a contract and loan you some cash. I know what it's like to be where you are and the stress doesn't always allow us to see the OTHER greath things around us that could help. How about a line of credit from the bank? How about applying for a credit card? How about (title loans are about 99.9% interest) but your car for cash? How about one of your customers that HAVE money - asking for a loan. I'm trying to think and don't know your whole situation - I DO however know people like your Mother, and I'm more sorry for her than I am for you. And now maybe you know why. You will figure this out - SHE will never change. And to loose you as a daughter in the gamble? WOW - what a humongous loss. Hang in there my friend - I've been where you are, I know the fear - and now you have bunches of us saying prayers for you. Maybe a banker person here could figure out something for you.....to help. Hugs & Love (the real kind) Star [/QUOTE]
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