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<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 10440" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>I'm with you and your easy child on your reaction. But I would be careful that your difficult child isn't convincing people that you are neglecting her. Is there some way to contact the administrators where she is at to confirm what she needs? If she needs a backpack and she is destroying them, that is a good reason to buy her a $10 backpack and tell them that she has to make it last throughout the school year. $10 shoes work just as well as $100 shoes. You can go pick these things up and have them delivered to her. I wouldn't have her over for dinner.</p><p></p><p>What I do know from past experience (and this is in the US) is that I was paying through the nose for M's (past) Residential Treatment Center (RTC) placement, and giving him support money at his TLC placement when the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) offered to cut the bill in half if I paid it in full. So I did because husband happened to get a bonus about the same time. Then M told everyone that I was stealing his SSI payment. This was a payment that <em>I</em> got on <em>my</em> disability to assist me in raising my children. It was not his SSI. The TLC advised him to report me to SSA as committing fraud. Granted, he had not lived with us during that entire year as he was placed in these living situations, but we were paying for his care and support. We paid way more than the lousy $175 a month we were getting in SSI to me for him. But I still had an extremely stressful go around that lasted a month or so with SSA and the TLC.</p><p></p><p>The TLC just couldn't get it through their heads that this was not M's money, and that I had already spent a ton of money on him and that if he demanded it because he no longer lived with us, there would be nothing to anyone because it was a payment to <em>me</em> to help me support him. </p><p></p><p>If I were you, I'd make sure that you and the home she is at are on the same page as to what you will supply to her, give her the least expensive alternative available (Goodwill?) and then buy your jeans and blouse. There's no reason you should go without.</p><p></p><p>And be sure to keep a file with receipts for every penny you spend on her, as well. Recreate records if you haven't already been doing so.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 10440, member: 99"] I'm with you and your easy child on your reaction. But I would be careful that your difficult child isn't convincing people that you are neglecting her. Is there some way to contact the administrators where she is at to confirm what she needs? If she needs a backpack and she is destroying them, that is a good reason to buy her a $10 backpack and tell them that she has to make it last throughout the school year. $10 shoes work just as well as $100 shoes. You can go pick these things up and have them delivered to her. I wouldn't have her over for dinner. What I do know from past experience (and this is in the US) is that I was paying through the nose for M's (past) Residential Treatment Center (RTC) placement, and giving him support money at his TLC placement when the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) offered to cut the bill in half if I paid it in full. So I did because husband happened to get a bonus about the same time. Then M told everyone that I was stealing his SSI payment. This was a payment that [i]I[/i] got on [i]my[/i] disability to assist me in raising my children. It was not his SSI. The TLC advised him to report me to SSA as committing fraud. Granted, he had not lived with us during that entire year as he was placed in these living situations, but we were paying for his care and support. We paid way more than the lousy $175 a month we were getting in SSI to me for him. But I still had an extremely stressful go around that lasted a month or so with SSA and the TLC. The TLC just couldn't get it through their heads that this was not M's money, and that I had already spent a ton of money on him and that if he demanded it because he no longer lived with us, there would be nothing to anyone because it was a payment to [i]me[/i] to help me support him. If I were you, I'd make sure that you and the home she is at are on the same page as to what you will supply to her, give her the least expensive alternative available (Goodwill?) and then buy your jeans and blouse. There's no reason you should go without. And be sure to keep a file with receipts for every penny you spend on her, as well. Recreate records if you haven't already been doing so. [/QUOTE]
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