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General Parenting
The phone call
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<blockquote data-quote="TeDo" data-source="post: 580874" data-attributes="member: 15799"><p>I'm with Buddy and Insane. The consequences have to "fit the crime" for a good connection to be made. And Insane made a VERY valid point, our kids are different. They can make good choices, under the right circumstances. Expecting ALL good choices ALL the time is asking for a miracle for our kids. "Being good" is too vague for my difficult child 1. I had to specify 1 particular behavior as a criteria. Also, there were times (still are but not as often) when nothing in the world could overcome the symptoms of his disabilities. As an adult, even I can't keep it together 100% of the time so how can I expect a child with even fewer skills than me to do that. I find it totally unreasonable.</p><p></p><p>Why did he knock the other kid's glasses off? What was the entire scenario from before it happened until it happened? Who said/did what when? Those are the questions I would want to know and calmly asking my difficult child 1 and helping him recall ALL the details provided the clues I needed to figure out the root of the problem.</p><p></p><p>As for waiting for the dreaded phone call, yea, I totally understand. When they started coming every day for every little thing, I pulled my kids out. Now I don't EVER get that call and my anxiety is gone. {{{HUGS}}} to you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TeDo, post: 580874, member: 15799"] I'm with Buddy and Insane. The consequences have to "fit the crime" for a good connection to be made. And Insane made a VERY valid point, our kids are different. They can make good choices, under the right circumstances. Expecting ALL good choices ALL the time is asking for a miracle for our kids. "Being good" is too vague for my difficult child 1. I had to specify 1 particular behavior as a criteria. Also, there were times (still are but not as often) when nothing in the world could overcome the symptoms of his disabilities. As an adult, even I can't keep it together 100% of the time so how can I expect a child with even fewer skills than me to do that. I find it totally unreasonable. Why did he knock the other kid's glasses off? What was the entire scenario from before it happened until it happened? Who said/did what when? Those are the questions I would want to know and calmly asking my difficult child 1 and helping him recall ALL the details provided the clues I needed to figure out the root of the problem. As for waiting for the dreaded phone call, yea, I totally understand. When they started coming every day for every little thing, I pulled my kids out. Now I don't EVER get that call and my anxiety is gone. {{{HUGS}}} to you. [/QUOTE]
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