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General Parenting
The right way to deal with tantrums
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<blockquote data-quote="TeDo" data-source="post: 550072"><p>You did the best you could with what you have. There really isn't a wrong (unless you're abusive), there is usually only a better.</p><p></p><p>Just so you know, many of us here don't believe in ODD as a diagnosis. Yes, we know it exists in the DSM but we don't find it helpful in any way. If you suspect Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), that trumps and explains the ODD symptoms. What kinds of things make you suspect Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD)? Finding the hidden "WHY" behind the behaviors usually help clarify that. Behavior is usually a form of communication so you need to figure out what she's trying to tell you ....... think OUTSIDE the box when trying to figure it out.</p><p></p><p>The only thing that really sticks out to me is that she was shouting about the tv program and you sent her upstairs. I havae learned that once difficult child 1 complies with that, I ignore everything else until he's had a chance to calm down and then has time to think more clearly. EVERYTHING that happens during the tantrum, I make him take care of after he's calm. Trying to get him to do anything when he's upset is only going to make things worse and he can't help what happens DURING the "blind rage". Anything I do to keep the anger going is my fault because I know better. For now for us, just learning to deal with the anger appropriately and him cleaning up his own messes after a slip-up are the things we are concentrating on. Baby steps.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TeDo, post: 550072"] You did the best you could with what you have. There really isn't a wrong (unless you're abusive), there is usually only a better. Just so you know, many of us here don't believe in ODD as a diagnosis. Yes, we know it exists in the DSM but we don't find it helpful in any way. If you suspect Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), that trumps and explains the ODD symptoms. What kinds of things make you suspect Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD)? Finding the hidden "WHY" behind the behaviors usually help clarify that. Behavior is usually a form of communication so you need to figure out what she's trying to tell you ....... think OUTSIDE the box when trying to figure it out. The only thing that really sticks out to me is that she was shouting about the tv program and you sent her upstairs. I havae learned that once difficult child 1 complies with that, I ignore everything else until he's had a chance to calm down and then has time to think more clearly. EVERYTHING that happens during the tantrum, I make him take care of after he's calm. Trying to get him to do anything when he's upset is only going to make things worse and he can't help what happens DURING the "blind rage". Anything I do to keep the anger going is my fault because I know better. For now for us, just learning to deal with the anger appropriately and him cleaning up his own messes after a slip-up are the things we are concentrating on. Baby steps. [/QUOTE]
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