The screen is missing from his window!??

[welcometowitsend]

So difficult child came home last night after being away for a little over a month. We discussed rules and consequences, he agreed, everyone was getting along great. Yeah!!!!

I fell asleep in front of the TV watching American Idol and didn't go up to bed until 2am. Bad habit. Anyway, he is still up. Well, he is 16 and I don't normally tell him what time to go to bed so I don't say anything. I know he was there because he shut the door and turned out his light as I was coming up the stairs - does he think I'm that stupid?

Anyway, he would not get up for school this morning. I told him dad was making eggs for breakfast and they'd be ready in 15 minutes, when they were ready I called him again, a few minutes later his dad went and got him up and then another 10 minutes later went up again. He ended up missing the bus and husband had to drive him to school. This has been a huge problem for 2 years.

So, I went out and bought him the loudest alarm clock I could find today so he can use that in conjunction with the other one - maybe that and some sleep will help. Ugh!

When I went in his room to put the alarm clock on his bed I noticed there was no screen on his window. I have looked everywhere and can't find it. This is a big window - 4' x 3' and goes out onto the roof above the garage -very easy to sneak out by jumping off the roof onto the deck and then using the railing to get back up and into the house. Not sure if he snuck out last night (he was fighting with girlfriend) or if this was before he left.

To top that off I think he may have possibly taken my car! I am going to clock the kilometres I drove since I got gas last night and see if they match what is on my car right now. I am beyond frustrated and hope I am wrong!

 

[helpangel]

Wow where do you go from here? bars on the windows? pull the battery cables and lock battery in the trunk?

I got the same situation going on here, though in my case its worse - don't know which kid doing it or if I'm driving in my sleep again.

I feel your pain and hoping the others have some words of wisdom for you
(that I can swipe & use from your thread)

 

[keista]

I think it's already time to tweak the rules.

Now sorry, but really? You never tell him when to go to bed and for the past two years, getting up for school has been an issue? REALLY? Sorry, I'm getting into parenty judgement mode, but bedtime is directly related to getting up in the morning. If he were going to bed at a reasonable hour and then couldn't get up, that's some sort of medical issue, but this?

Anyway, can you glue or nail shut the window before he gets home? Maybe get a single window alarm and install it on the OUTSIDE of the window? Lay tack cloth on the part of the roof that he would jump/climb to?

 

[DDD]

Good Grief...been there done that too many times to count. Slip a little piece of chalk under the side of the tire that has to move if he takes the car. He won't notice in his excitement and you will have proof...or draw a line if you don't want to crush a piece of chalk. I'm sorry you are going thru this. I about killed myself staying up to "greet" him when he snuck back home. Bottom line, however, if difficult children are determined to be difficult children it's like trying to stop a freight train with a wave of your hand. I will say prayers that somehow he "gets it". Hugs. DDD

 

[BusynMember]

Oh, the old "I go out the window" trick.

My daughter used to do that. She even put a few pillows under her covers so that if we peaked into her room we'd think she was there (must have seen that on television). Then she'd run the streets at night.
We nailed her window shut and made her sleep w ith her door opened. If she would have shut the door, we would have removed it. An alarm works too, unless he knows how to disable it.

The sad fact is, if a sixteen year old wants to leave the house at night, there is really very little we can do (they learn all the tricks) unless Dad and Mom take turns sleeping and watch her all night. But, as far as I know, after we nailed the window shut, she didn't get out again. If so, she was never picked up for curfew again, and that used to happen a lot before.

I hope you can find a solution and wish you all the luck in the world. I'm so sorry you are going through this.

 

[DaisyFace]

Our policy with our difficult child sneaking out is to LOCK. THE. DOOR. BEHIND. HER.

She may have "snuck out" - but she is NOT getting back in without going through ME !

Also - home security companies are familiar with the whole "teenagers sneaking out" thing...and they can wire his bedroom window into a house alarm system.

As far as missing the bus goes? What is your policy on that? Does he owe you extra chores or something for your trouble? What is his consequence for inconveniencing you? Seems to me if you made missing the bus a problem for HIM - it wouldn't happen so often.

Good luck!

 

[helpangel]

I'm not sure if you could twist this to help in your situation but when my dad who got up at 4am wanted me to keep curfew without sitting up would put an alarm clock in my room set 5 minutes past time he wanted me home. If the alarm went off I got busted for breaking curfew. for now I'm setting alarm for 4am to check the children & chalking the tires. thank you who ever suggested it. (Neighbors thought I was paranoid carrying that car battery into the house each night besides being a PITA)

My mom got me with the curse "someday you will have a kid that will make you look like an angel" - I even named her Angel but it didn't break the curse.

 

[DammitJanet]

Well if you do ever catch her taking the car, there is a very quick way to disable it by taking a fuse out of the engine and bringing it inside every night and just slipping it back in every morning. I did that when Cory used to steal my car. A battery was a non issue for him. He just brought his own. He never did figure the fuse deal. I told him the car had an issue with the starter...lol.

 

[welcometowitsend]

Thank you for all the responses.

Keista - I totally agree about getting to bed at a reasonable hour but he is 16 and he has to learn some responsibility for himself. If he manages to pull himself together and get to college there won't be anyone there monitoring him.

Daisyface - If he misses the bus I have to drive him to school and I charge him $5 to do so - a lot of money for a kid with no allowance (because he would never do chores) and no job.

I like the idea of the window alarm - I think I will look into that. I confronted him about the screen and after about a minute of silence he said he likes to go sit on the roof and think sometimes. Oh yeah. OK. I believe that. NOT. Anyway, I will talk to husband about putting an alarm on his window and see what happens from there. He went and took the screen out of hiding and put it back on the window.

I double checked the kilometres on my car and thankfully he did not take it. I was surprised because I had just filled it up with gas the night before and it seemed there were more kilometres on it than there should have been but when I calculated them it was correct. So... Phew! At least I don't have to worry about that for now. I will definitely be taking my purse and keys to bed with me though - just in case - let's not tempt the boy.

Helpangel - Hope these suggestions work for you too! I can totally relate to karma from being a bad teen myself. I wasn't horrible but I did give my mom a hard time. My dad walked around with blinders on.

MWM - LOL about the pillows under the covers - I think every kid has seen that one on tv.

DDD and DJ - Thanks for the tips on the car. I will try the chalk first - it's a little easier than finding the fuse but both great ideas.

Just got back from a weekend away at a dance competition with easy child. We had a great time. husband stayed home with difficult child. He said it was an ok weekend although he had to bite his tongue a lot.

Do you think it's ok if I insist he go to a college that's far enough away from home that he can't commute!?? LOL.

 

[TerryJ2]

Well, at least he knew he was busted when you told him about the screen, so he admitted to going out the window. That's the first step.

I like the idea of nailing the window shut from the outside when he is not home, so that he won't know about it until it's too late. And I like the idea of the alarm for long term.

How does he respond to rewards? Like, if you are on time for the bus 5 days in a row, I will *give* you $5. Or have you already tried that?

Best of luck!

 

[helpangel]

Yes I got lots of good idea's but you gave me the real light at the end of the tunnel with "the college far away" remark... the state difficult child college/ trade school is on the other side of the state and has dorms so I have that to look forward to in a year.

When I sit with my mom and she repeatedly does stuff like try to change tv channel with her cordless phone - I know I did this. I broke her when I was a teenager. I earned every bit of what my teens put me thru - because what goes around comes back around.

 

[TerryJ2]

Helpangel, where's the LIKE button!?