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The Watercooler
The son who disowned his family (us) comes back to haunt my daughter.
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 565920" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hound Dog, wise, kind words.</p><p></p><p>S. joined our family at age six and obviously has attachment problems. He was blessed with a sky high IQ and I believe he decided that achievement was the only way to feel he is worthwhile, because he was an orphan, which bothered him a lot. I also think he needed to belong so he married a Chinese woman with strong ties to the culture that he was pulled out of and turned to a very strict, almost cult-like church, to tell him the best way to "be good." Unfortunately, in many very extremist churches they teach you to judge others and throw out even family members who are not "believers." I do not know how he feels in his heart, but there is a lot of anger there. The last time I saw him, my last memory of him was when the mediator told us to pray. I am h alppy to pray in any religion because I believe all spirituality is positive. S. asked if HE could say the prayer. We agreed. His prayer was "Please help Mom see the light and help me forgive her, BUT IT IS SO HARD!" </p><p></p><p>I'm not even sure what I did. His reality isn't reality, although I do believe it is reality in his mind. Still, I am puzzled at his inability to forgive reality as he saw it. Even his reality was not that bad and certainly was not the abuse he claims it was. </p><p></p><p>J. and G. call him "the robot. He has no emotions." He is very frozen emotionally. This is true. I don't know what is behind his facade and no longer want to know. And neither does J. We both tried and failed and are done.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 565920, member: 1550"] Hound Dog, wise, kind words. S. joined our family at age six and obviously has attachment problems. He was blessed with a sky high IQ and I believe he decided that achievement was the only way to feel he is worthwhile, because he was an orphan, which bothered him a lot. I also think he needed to belong so he married a Chinese woman with strong ties to the culture that he was pulled out of and turned to a very strict, almost cult-like church, to tell him the best way to "be good." Unfortunately, in many very extremist churches they teach you to judge others and throw out even family members who are not "believers." I do not know how he feels in his heart, but there is a lot of anger there. The last time I saw him, my last memory of him was when the mediator told us to pray. I am h alppy to pray in any religion because I believe all spirituality is positive. S. asked if HE could say the prayer. We agreed. His prayer was "Please help Mom see the light and help me forgive her, BUT IT IS SO HARD!" I'm not even sure what I did. His reality isn't reality, although I do believe it is reality in his mind. Still, I am puzzled at his inability to forgive reality as he saw it. Even his reality was not that bad and certainly was not the abuse he claims it was. J. and G. call him "the robot. He has no emotions." He is very frozen emotionally. This is true. I don't know what is behind his facade and no longer want to know. And neither does J. We both tried and failed and are done. [/QUOTE]
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The son who disowned his family (us) comes back to haunt my daughter.
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