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<blockquote data-quote="TeDo" data-source="post: 390358"><p>I think I have just hit mine in the last 10 minutes or so. Had a meeting to go over the IEP and BIP the SpEd teacher developed after the meeting 2 weeks ago. I was fine with the IEP and wanted to get that started. The problem I have is with the BIP. The way they have phrases all the teachers are supposed to use with difficult child worded are totally authoritative and assume non-compliance is willful and a control issue. I spent an hour and a half trying to get teacher to realize that difficult child is not comprehending situations like "normal" kids. They actually have it stated in there that "willful disobedience and insubordination are not to be tolerated and the school discipline policy needs to be followed". Their policy for these things is suspension. I tried to get them to understand that those phrases are very subjective and is based purely on assumptions. I tried to convince them that there is a reason for difficult child's actions and we need to teach him how to put those reasons into words and find ways to deal with them appropriately. I reminded him that suspending difficult child for these things teaches him that he gets out of school when a situation is causing him a problem. There is also a big issue with the principal being the one to decide on and issue the suspensions. I want to remove him from that position when it comes to difficult child (have that decision made by the SpEd teacher and school counselor) because he has made it very obvious that HE is the boss and no one but HIM can make any decisions like moving a meeting to a different room when having the meeting in the current room is a problem right now. Why the **** does the room matter? Their response was that difficult child needs to know that he needs to go wherever he is told to go. Isn't that something they are supposed to TEACH to kids who don't understand that?</p><p> </p><p>Then tonight, difficult child came down from his room crying because he had a meltdown earlier and was feeling remorseful. I talked to him and he was on his way back to bed when easy child comes down wanting to know why difficult child isn't in his bed. easy child trying to be a self-appointed "parent helper" is an ongoing issue at our house. I simply tell him to go back to bed, I'm taking care of it. Ten minutes later difficult child comes down to let me know that easy child is up in his bed crying and talking about how stupid he is and that he should just kill himself. He has done this before when he wants some attention like difficult child has gotten for a totally different reason. So now I have difficult child crying because I said so many nice things about him and easy child crying because difficult child had 10 minutes of my attention and he wants some too.</p><p> </p><p>On top of that I am still unemployed and my unemployment will run out in about 6 weeks and there are NO jobs around here, the other big company (there are only 2) in town (50 employees is big here) is downsizing at the end of the month, and I have 2 kids to feed.</p><p> </p><p>difficult child can't see his new therapist until January but things at school are getting so bad I'm afraid he'll be expelled by then because of their unwillingness to try new approaches like CPS or something besides a heavy hand.</p><p> </p><p>I feel like the other shoe is hanging over my head on it's way down. I just want to give up and wave the red flag but I can't do that to my kids. AAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TeDo, post: 390358"] I think I have just hit mine in the last 10 minutes or so. Had a meeting to go over the IEP and BIP the SpEd teacher developed after the meeting 2 weeks ago. I was fine with the IEP and wanted to get that started. The problem I have is with the BIP. The way they have phrases all the teachers are supposed to use with difficult child worded are totally authoritative and assume non-compliance is willful and a control issue. I spent an hour and a half trying to get teacher to realize that difficult child is not comprehending situations like "normal" kids. They actually have it stated in there that "willful disobedience and insubordination are not to be tolerated and the school discipline policy needs to be followed". Their policy for these things is suspension. I tried to get them to understand that those phrases are very subjective and is based purely on assumptions. I tried to convince them that there is a reason for difficult child's actions and we need to teach him how to put those reasons into words and find ways to deal with them appropriately. I reminded him that suspending difficult child for these things teaches him that he gets out of school when a situation is causing him a problem. There is also a big issue with the principal being the one to decide on and issue the suspensions. I want to remove him from that position when it comes to difficult child (have that decision made by the SpEd teacher and school counselor) because he has made it very obvious that HE is the boss and no one but HIM can make any decisions like moving a meeting to a different room when having the meeting in the current room is a problem right now. Why the **** does the room matter? Their response was that difficult child needs to know that he needs to go wherever he is told to go. Isn't that something they are supposed to TEACH to kids who don't understand that? Then tonight, difficult child came down from his room crying because he had a meltdown earlier and was feeling remorseful. I talked to him and he was on his way back to bed when easy child comes down wanting to know why difficult child isn't in his bed. easy child trying to be a self-appointed "parent helper" is an ongoing issue at our house. I simply tell him to go back to bed, I'm taking care of it. Ten minutes later difficult child comes down to let me know that easy child is up in his bed crying and talking about how stupid he is and that he should just kill himself. He has done this before when he wants some attention like difficult child has gotten for a totally different reason. So now I have difficult child crying because I said so many nice things about him and easy child crying because difficult child had 10 minutes of my attention and he wants some too. On top of that I am still unemployed and my unemployment will run out in about 6 weeks and there are NO jobs around here, the other big company (there are only 2) in town (50 employees is big here) is downsizing at the end of the month, and I have 2 kids to feed. difficult child can't see his new therapist until January but things at school are getting so bad I'm afraid he'll be expelled by then because of their unwillingness to try new approaches like CPS or something besides a heavy hand. I feel like the other shoe is hanging over my head on it's way down. I just want to give up and wave the red flag but I can't do that to my kids. AAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!! [/QUOTE]
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