The update 4 today

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by drained1, Jan 9, 2008.

  1. drained1

    drained1 New Member

    first i thank all of you for continuing to add to my daily yammering. it really is helpful.

    so today i called the friends who have the difficult child and advised them that their roll is to have her in a holding pattern, keep her safe from herself, keep me and her sisters safe from her and to keep her away from the "gang" here. I advised them i am very appreciative of what they are doing for me and husband but their roll at this point is just that, the holding zone. i advised them that while i appreciate thier opinions i have been the one dealing with this difficult child for 16 years. I advised them yes i firmly believe she is doing well there for now because she is in unfamiliar territory and is watching everything and making many mental notes on what buttons to push, what negative things go on and then one day they too will see the Dr Jekel / Mr Hyde. i advised them i appreicate teh jobcorp idea but no matter howmany life skills one is given one can not be a viable member of society if one does not know how to control self and function with others and their opinions.

    i made many a phone call today too. one thing that irritated me is i found out the hospital she was at never did the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) like they said they would :nonono: man that made me mad but i wasnt to awful shocked at their lack of following thru

    so had to ask friend who is close then contact a psychiatric doctor between where i am and where she is. her appointment isnt till 2/7 so now tomorrow will have to call her primary doctor, beg for a refill of her medication and get the referral to see this doctor. oh did i mention the best part; the earliest appointment is at 12:30 and i usually leave for work at 1:30.....gonna be a tight day but gotta do it.

    did speak to difficult child today, but thanks to the man upstairs i was able to remain calm even though she was quite the nasty one. as she was belly aching and cursing at me and advising me what a horrid person i was and how this is the last and final time she will ever speak to me as i am dead to her....i spoke louder and advsied difficult child that i love her, always will. i am gonna get her help, no matter what they tell me, we will get help. i advised her she is wonderful and the man upstairs has plans for her but she needs to go thru a little heck to be where he wants her to be. i told her no matter how much she pushes away i will be there. i told her that i am human and if she continues to speak to me in the way she is doing cuz she feels she is my equal she will get equal tounge lashing back, she dropped the phone. i did hear friends husband "scold" her like a 6 year old, but oh well. they will find out that miss difficult child is not the little angel she acting to be. :hypnosis:

    i felt good afterwards. i didnt allow her to upset me or thwart my actions. i advised these wonderful people i am in control adn if they dont like it i will find another place for her for the interim, i will write a paper that states she is there and they have permission to take her to a doctor, emergency medical care and enroll her in a GED program there. but that is all. difficult child can not know where or when the treatment center is. she will throw one heck of a curve ball because i dont know how long all this takes, she will have plenty of time to devise a plan. Tis her modus operendi

    soooo, now i have to bust my rear harder to get someone to do this Residential Treatment Center (RTC) referral thing to get my child the help she and i desperately need. i know it wont be a miracle place, i know she will hate it but i just pray it will help her and me in the long run. i want her to learn how to take control of her actions and not blame everyone else for her misery. if we can do that, i am happy.

    will update later on, time for my 6 hours of daily sleep. its after midnight, been up since 7:30am yesterday. love my job, hate my schedule, but keeps teh bills paid, food on the table and docs paid. gosh i wish my husband was home.
  2. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Drained - Good job reminding everyone of their roles. I hope you can get the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) referral quickly.
  3. Coookie

    Coookie Active Member


    Just wanted to tell you that you are a true Warrior Mom... :warrior: You are keeping your eyes on the goal, which is sometimes very difficult when our difficult children are spewing their venom. :nonono: There were many times when I was trying to get my difficult child help that he would loudly let me know what a horrible person I was.. and those words do hurt. :frown: But just keep reminding yourself that you are doing it because you love your difficult child and continue to let the verbal garbage roll into the verbal garbage can. :badmood: :smile:

    You will be in my thoughts.

  4. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    What a truly awesome job you're doing! I hope your friends heard and understood you.

    Let's hope you get the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) soon. You're right, it won't be a magic cure but it may well help her get the coping skills to survive in this world.
  5. ck1

    ck1 New Member

    Ditto!!! :warrior:

    I really commend you for doing such a good job on your own. I've been a single mother so I know how hard it is. But to me, your situation is very different. Stay strong, persevere, and you will succeed!