the vortex of anxiety

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by UpandDown, Jun 21, 2016.

  1. UpandDown

    UpandDown Active Member

    I need to talk to someone as my son is in the midst of an "anxiety" episode and I feel my heart pounding and trying to work my way through supporting him and not getting sucked in. It is so difficult. Writing will hopefully help distract me. He had an appointment with his therapist this am which was not his usual time. He goes to these appointments on his own as it usually goes better this way. Not the case today. He shows up for his appointment and overhears someone else check in with the front desk for the same dr, same time slot. He starts texting me that things are messed up. He refuses to go up and tell them that he is there and that we got a confirmation call the night before. He keeps texting me that the people there are gross, weird and entitled. I have no idea what is going on. I can't reach the front desk. Then he texts me that he is leaving, hates the therapist, never going back etc. I finally reach the therapist who was waiting on him and that the others there were just hoping to get an appointment by showing up. It all could have been avoided if he spoke up. She said it was a bad scene in the office as one of the patients who wanted in was having a tantrum and it was very anxiety provoking. She called my son directly on his cell phone (with my permission) and he wont answer her calls. He let me know that he goes there to deal with his anxiety not increase it. I could just scream. This feeling of powerless that washes over when everything gets derailed because of his crippling anxiety is just hell. I doubt he can be convinced to ever go back there. He can make so much progress and be cruising along when anxiety rears its ugly head. Therapist says we can use this as an opportunity to walk through what happened. I am trying to believe that. But she also was certain he would answer her call.
  2. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    Hang in there. It's impossible to make our kids do what they SHOULD do or what WE want them to do. If it wasn't we all wouldn't be here.

    These kids act in the moment. They don't think like we do. I would not be so certain he will not go back.
  3. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Have you had a chance to talk to him yet?
  4. UpandDown

    UpandDown Active Member

    Yes, he came home and after several hours told me that the therapist was trying to reach out to him via cell. He just keeps saying that it was a waste of his time, he didn't appreciate that and she had her chance and now he is done. I gently suggested that he share his feelings with her about this during their next regularly scheduled appointment. (The regular appointments are after hours without lots of others in the waiting room which is key.) He didn't respond to my suggestion so I am just going to pray that he allows that thought to settle in and by next week attends. I JUST WANT TO FIX IT. I think I am going nuts with the things that I can't control.
  5. UpandDown

    UpandDown Active Member

    RN you were right. He did go back for his regular session. I forced myself to stay out of it and just casually mention appointment was coming soon. I got a report from therapist that this was actually a good lesson for my son to work through. To learn that you can express yourself and put up boundaries in a relationship, step back while taking time to cool off, and meet again when things are calm. She was very optimistic about it all. Thank goodness for the calm adults who can step back and not fall into the pit of worry like I tend to do.